LJWorld.com weblogs Anna Undercover
Posted
by Anna Undercover
November 6, 2010 at 12:16 p.m.
Anna Undercover: Good Times with Olathe PD
A car crashed into a karate studio last night (I have pictures!), and the redeeming value of Olathe PD's unblinking eye of Sauron is now clear.
...
If you live, work, and date in three separate counties, two things are certain:
The laws of entropy will compel piles of crap in your car.
You will socialize with local traffic enforcement eventually.
One night at 2:30 a.m., I saw the dreaded flashing lights.
“Hi,” said a Lawrence police officer.
“You have a tail light out,” he said politely. “May I see your license and insurance?”
He frowned at the papers I gave him.
“This is your title. Where’s your insurance?”
Helpfully, the remaining document in my glove box confirmed that I could enter Cameroon in 2007.
“I swear I have Geico,” I squeaked. My hand volunteered my Blackberry. “Shall I phone them right now to confirm?”
I bowed my head in shame as he ran my license in his cruiser.
“I’ll let you off with a warning,” he said, sounding sternly parental when he returned. “Take care of that tail light tomorrow, and print proof of insurance off Geico.com.”
Grateful, I apologized profusely and promised to fix things tomorrow.
His flashlight wandered to the piles of extra shirts, school books, and shoes in my back seat.
“Your car is a mess,” he said.
Maybe twenty minutes later—
“Hi,” said a blond ambassador of Olathe PD, approaching my window with his flashlight.
“I have a tail light out,” I blurted. “I’m sorry. I work at night, but I can fix it tomorrow when the stores are open.”
“Yes,” he said calmly. “What are you doing?”
“I just got off work at a bar. I’m driving to my boyfriend’s house,” I explained. It was now 3:00 a.m.
“I was just pulled over in Douglas County.”
“No, you weren’t,” he countered automatically. “Were you?”
"What?"
I'd just jazzercised for eight hours.
I had no idea how to respond.
“Your license is out of state,” he continued. “How long have you lived in Kansas?”
He shined his flashlight over the heaps of t-shirts and books in my back seat.
“What’s all this stuff in the back?” he probed.
“I, uh, I’m moving?” I faltered.
“Insurance, please.”
…
He ran my license.
“Will you step out of the car?” he said.
“What?” I said in disbelief. “Am I being arrested?”
“No, I’m just going to explain the ticket,” said Officer Blond.
I unbuckled my seat belt and followed him to the sidewalk in disbelief.
It bewildered me to be standing under a streetlight after 3:00 a.m. at the center of a red and blue light show.
I’ve never even gotten a speeding ticket.
“Do you mind if I search your car?” he asked.
“What?” I sputtered. “Um, well, I guess.”
He opened my driver’s side door and kneeled on the seat inside.
“Wait!” I yelled suddenly, vaguely recalling the paranoid rants of hippies in college.
“Do you really need to search my car?”
“If you have nothing to hide, then what’s the problem?” he said.
…
A new bulb and one Geico printout later, my other tail light bid an alluring ‘come hither’ to Olathe’s finest.
“Hi,” a vigilant Olathe officer greeted me one late afternoon.
It was daylight, and he still nabbed me.
“Your tail light appears to be out.”
“I know,” I said, ready this time. “I tried two new bulbs, but they didn’t work. I think I have a short.”
He took my license and the Geico printout to his car.
Seeing the Cameroon paper in the glove box again, my thoughts floated off to Africa.
I was jerked back to Kansas when he jumped back in front of me.
“What’s wrong?” I practically barked in surprise.
“I have to take off,” I think he said, quickly returning my ID and leaving.
He sped off, lights and sirens blaring.
…
Not long after—
“Your tail light is out,” another Olathe officer announced at my shoulder.
“I know. I’m just going to my boyfriend’s house,” I reprised, now in park at the edge of his driveway.
I pointed to his front door.
My blinker was patiently ticking.
“Sorry, but I’ll need your license and proof of insurance.”
I handed her my ID and opened the glove box.
Too bad we weren’t in Cameroon.
The last guy had taken off with my precious Geico printout!
“Sorry, but it needs to be with you in your car,” she said firmly.
Her partner’s flashlight nosed over a fresh heap of t-shirts behind me.
“I have no choice but to write you a ticket.”
Sigh.
…
Helplessly in orbit of the assiduous Olathe PD, I was glad they were on the scene last night, where (witnesses allege) a car drove right into a karate studio at 151st and Mur-Len.
A car sits inside a karate studio at 151st and Mur-Len on November 5, 2010. by AnnaUndercover
A better view. by AnnaUndercover
Things appear to turn out all right. by AnnaUndercover
A Fark.com headline suggests we did better than Texas:
A Fark.com news headline from November 5, 2010. by AnnaUndercover
[It reads: "If you want to remove your truck from the storefront you just crashed into, make sure no other vehicle is behind you. And remember, when pulling forward after backing into said vehicle, the store is still there."
The link on the left names Texas as the location of this far worse reported debacle.]
So thank you, Olathe, for holding things down.
I promise to print multiple copies of my Geico insurance card, conquer my tail lights, and clean out the back of my car.
Also, I may or may not re-read “1984.”
(But I do like the good things you do).
and 1 others
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Comments
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AnnaUndercover (Anna Undercover) says…
If you get to this entry before I fix the unreadable pictures...
I'm fixing the unreadable pictures.
AnnaUndercover (Anna Undercover) says…
I can't seem to fix the Fark.com quote right this minute, but I re-typed what it says right below the picture.
That should be OK for now.
I'm really tired. :P
Jayman (anonymous) says…
Last time I got stopped was in San Antonio, TX. Got stopped because the light above my license plate was out. Problem was I had just gotten my car inspected that day. When I showed the inspection slip to the cop he said "Those guys suck. You should make them pay for your ticket." But, when he came back to my car he handed me a warning and said "I was just kidding about the ticket. No reason we can have some fun out here."
I would never let a cop search my car. They are not to be trusted.
AnnaUndercover (Anna Undercover) replies…
Haha. The humor of someone with life and death power is a little terrifying.
In my experiences above, at least one officer walks a fine line in Olathe. I hope he considers alternative tactics.
::arches one eyebrow to a 45 degree angle::
mfowler (Matthew Fowler) says…
Anna, please find another line, you seem like a nice, level-headed gal. Please.
Vic (anonymous) says…
A friend of mine I work with had been pulled over 5 times in a month by the dreaded Olathe PD a few months ago. Granted, his tags were expired, but still, those folks are vicious out there. Seriously, why are cops terrorizing the populace on the roadways when they could go out and stop real crimes?
AnnaUndercover (Anna Undercover) replies…
After I calmed down about the whole "well if you don't have anything to hide..." scene, I found my mind wandering to these thoughts as well.
I don't want to feel like I need to *avoid* the people who are supposedly there to keep us safe... to stay safe.
cozy (anonymous) says…
Who cares what clothes, shoes and textbooks (hello, responsibility) are in YOUR car. Im pretty sure its not against the law to have a messy car. Anyway they can, they will try to f-you. Its a power trip and I dont know what you look like, but I have an idea and it was probably profiling. You have tattoos, or piercings, colored hair? Youre in joco where they think they are high and mighty and better than everyone. They will try to come up with any reason they can to search your car. This is why I hate this whole seatbelt thing, I wear mine, but whose to say that they cant just pull you over because they want to and say that you dont have your seatbelt on just to be able to search the car. Its disgusting.
cozy (anonymous) replies…
Im referring to the 2nd incident.
AnnaUndercover (Anna Undercover) replies…
I get where you're coming from, but I should tell you I have no piercings, no dyed hair, and no tattoos.
I have a 'girl next door'-type look.
AnnaUndercover (Anna Undercover) replies…
Based on what other people are telling me (and my own experiences above), I think the Olathe police are alert, but that at least one of them is over-aggressive.
Officer Blond, of course, needs a chill pill and an evening with George Orwell, if he hasn't had one already.
OldHomeTown (Sarah St. John) says…
Here's one that I'm not using this month. This sort of thing wouldn't happen if they weren't so busy pulling over buggies that were missing whip sockets or something....... :-)
Dedicated to you, Anna-banana. And hey... "Be careful out there." :-)
From the Lawrence Daily World, Tuesday, Nov. 29, 1910:
burglary at olathe
Burglars plundered an Olathe dry goods store last night of $1,000 worth of silk ,and then stole a horse and buggy to escape with their loot. Sheriff Banning was phoned of the theft this morning. The burglars secured eighteen full bolts of silk which they packed in expensive suit cases. They were evidently excellent judges of silk as they selected only the highest priced values in the store. After carrying their plunder off to a side street, they scouted around until they found a barn containing a horse and buggy. This outfit they promptly appropriated. The horse is a brown animal and the buggy black. A reward of $150 has been offered for the capture of the burglars. It is believed they belong to an organized gang which have been taking silk in store robberies in the northern part of the state."
AnnaUndercover (Anna Undercover) replies…
Oh dear!
:)
Thanks. I love Old Home Town. :)
Love,
your "tarnished" dove
OldHomeTown (Sarah St. John) replies…
*grin* I believe that was "soiled" dove, but I'd have to go back and check.
AnnaUndercover (Anna Undercover) replies…
Haha, you're right!