Stripper Blog: Tea with Strippers

Posted by Anna Undercover November 16, 2009 at 9:12 p.m.

I invited two young ladies to my home for some light questions and chamomile tea. They both currently strip in the Lawrence area. I have used fictitious stripper names. The conversation lasted an hour and a half and these are only a few of the questions I asked. I apologize for the choppiness and lack of flow; I'm new to the world of writing and reporting.

How and why did you become a stripper?

“Sasha,” in her early 20s, said: “I went to Free State High School. I had to graduate early because my mom walked out on me, so I started working at McDonald’s. As you can imagine, $8 an hour doesn’t get you very far. I worked there for three or four months when the transmission went out on my car. I did the math and I was like OK, $8 an hour after taxes and bills… leaves me with nothing to fix [the car]. So what I did was take the Lawrence bus to All Stars and managed to find a ride home every day for two months. At that point, I came up with the $2,000 to pay for my car [and then stopped stripping]. I returned to dancing after my divorce because it’s the only way I could afford to get away from him.”

“Cherry,” 21, said: “I packed my [expletive deleted] up in my car, started driving out here and I got in a car accident. I was out of work for two weeks. I was… waiting for my insurance check, so my mom bought me a plane ticket down here. [I thought] Paradise [Saloon] was the closest club, so I figured I’d try that because I didn’t want to get behind on my bills. There’s really not much else [to the story].”

When you tell other women that you’re a stripper, how do they react?

Sasha: “My true friends that I hang out with never say anything bad. They just say things like ‘don’t get into drugs,’ and I’m like yeah, I know that, thank you. When I told my boy’s [female] friend that I was a dancer, we were both sitting at the table, and I got about the dirtiest look in the whole entire world for that one. It depends on the situation. They’re pretty cool [sometimes], [but if they are talking to my boyfriend about it] they just kind of say ‘oh, she’s a dancer, why do you want her?’”

When you tell men that you’re a stripper, how do they react?

Sasha: “I haven’t dated for very long [recently]. They don’t have anything bad to say, and never go into detail or start questioning me, like ‘do you give blow jobs, do you do hand jobs, do you do drugs.’ So they’re pretty cool about it, but this one guy I was talking to—I always think they get the feeling that they’re gonna get some. They always think I’m going to be super easy and they don’t have to treat me like a lady or how a woman should be treated.”

Do you have a savings account?

Sasha: "No."

Cherry: "No."

Do you guys feel bad about being strippers?

Cherry: "No. Definitely not. I’d always wanted to try stripping, even from a young age. I think that’s how I coaxed my mom to be okay with it. So many guys make rude comments, and stare, and slap you on the ass. It’s like, well, why not use that and make money off it? If anything, I feel better about myself because I don’t have to depend on men anymore."

Sasha: "[Women who don’t strip] go to the club, they wear slutty clothes, and they go home with any guy that buys them a freakin’ drink. We do the same thing except we get paid and we don’t sleep with the men."

Cherry: "We use what we can to make our way in the world. Men use their muscles to work in construction, to work in oil fields, and stuff like that. We take what we were given and we work with it."

If you could tell Lawrence anything, what would it be?

Cherry: "I would tell anybody that you can think what you want, but don’t be disrespectful to us, especially since you have not been in our shoes. You have no room to be rude."

Sasha: "I don’t know other strippers’ stories, but if it weren’t for a job like dancing, I would be stuck in a really abusive situation. I’m sure that it’s helped other girls, too."

Cherry: "I think being a stripper makes you a stronger person. More confident. Just all around stronger."

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Sabrageur (anonymous) says…

I'm shocked at the lack of outrage! Where are all the nasty posts telling these girls McDonald's is good enough, and they should bootstrap themselves up instead of making informed business decisions? The moral high ground crowd must all be tucked in bed.
November 16, 2009 at 11:38 p.m.
mike_blur (Mike Blur) says…

Don't worry Sabra, they will show up. This blog just hasn't showed up on the "most discussed" list yet. However...like a boil on the butt of humanity, they will be back with a vengeance.
November 17, 2009 at 12:19 a.m.
jwsuber (anonymous) says…

This was poetic:
"We use what we can to make our way in the world. Men use their muscles to work in construction, to work in oil fields, and stuff like that. We take what we were given and we work with it."

Why poetic? Because it lacks the presumption of entitlement that I see so much now among unemployed or underemployed men - with or without muscles. The statement seems to come from a different era in America.

Today so much work is written-off as "beneath" men if they would have to "use their muscles!" No concrete flat-work or landscaping for me! Collecting benefits, sponging off friends, working bare minimum hours at jobs that are "easy," - these are the hallmarks of smart guys? Forgive the irony, if with strippers we are to find the moral backbone of a better America!
November 17, 2009 at 12:30 a.m.
riverdrifter (anonymous) says…

"I invited two young ladies to my home for some light questions and chamomile tea."

Jesus Christ on a crutch.

I'm going back to the Cheyenne Bottoms and bust some more ducks.
November 17, 2009 at 1:54 a.m.
Soap (anonymous) says…

What color was Cherry's underwear??
November 17, 2009 at 2:25 a.m.
honeychild (Mel Briscoe) says…

okay, so women only start stripping out of desperation?
November 17, 2009 at 8:38 a.m.
honeychild (Mel Briscoe) says…

riverdrifter, my great-grandmother susan used to use that saying occasionally ("christ on a crutch"). aside from my family i have never heard someone else say that! lol
November 17, 2009 at 8:40 a.m.
garyr (anonymous) says…

So, what I gather from this article, is that some sort of car trouble forces women into the stripping profession?
November 17, 2009 at 9 a.m.
RETICENT_IRREVERENT (Ronaldo Ignacio) says…

mmmm...mushroom tea
November 17, 2009 at 9:03 a.m.
Fixed_Asset (anonymous) says…

Brandy - jealousy is unbecoming, dear. Don't you need to call the DA's office again to get those people charged? Afterall, that's why you have the username you have, right? Why does the LJW allow that?
November 17, 2009 at 9:36 a.m.
sassypants (anonymous) says…

My car is broke down. Wander if the Bird is hiring?
November 17, 2009 at 10:48 a.m.
DestinyLove (anonymous) says…

u r my new roll model!

Thank u Anna!

My mama used to dance and she allways told me never to do that. She had some bad things happen to her there. But u seem so smart and confident and happy, which I never have been so confident and happy. One of my babies daddies used 2 tell me that I should be a dancer, but I was allways scared 2 try. Anna u have opened my eye and I am not scared 2 try nemore! Thank u Anna!
November 17, 2009 at 12:23 p.m.
honeychild (Mel Briscoe) says…

^^^ riiiiiiight.
November 17, 2009 at 12:45 p.m.
consumer1 (anonymous) says…

I wish I could get paid to strip, because i am a really heavy not so pretty gal. So, What about us heavy not so pretty gals what do we do when our transmission breaks down? Or our guys are abusive? Thre must be some sort of service out there to help us? Cause obviously we cannot resort to making money stripping?
Ms Con1
November 17, 2009 at 12:54 p.m.
puddleglum (anonymous) says…

another stripper blog? WOW!
November 17, 2009 at 1:07 p.m.
honeychild (Mel Briscoe) says…

con1, dude, you're a chick??!
November 17, 2009 at 1:22 p.m.
consumer1 (anonymous) says…

a big one. not too pretty either. Sorry. he he he he.
November 17, 2009 at 1:27 p.m.
honeychild (Mel Briscoe) says…

is "he he he he" supposed to imply laughing or is it a hint to your actual gender. ;P
November 17, 2009 at 1:30 p.m.
AnnaUndercover (Anna Undercover) says…

@consumer1
I said in a previous post that I was relieved to discover that you don't have to have a perfect body to make money stripping.
November 17, 2009 at 1:58 p.m.
consumer1 (anonymous) says…

Sorry honey child, just being silly, stripping myself of all my humility. Honestly I Got a hairy chest, and my knuckles drag the ground. My stripper name is Sasquach.
November 17, 2009 at 2:26 p.m.
honeychild (Mel Briscoe) says…

thanks, con1. you gave me a good, honest to goodness belly laugh.

(not as good as a lap dance but it'll have to do for now-- call me later. lol)
November 17, 2009 at 2:52 p.m.
labmonkey (anonymous) says…

If this blog isn't totally made-up (which I think is about 50-50), I would say that it is a little discouraging that neither has set up a savings account, and neither "Sasha" or "Cherry" seem to be very educated...time to set up some future now or they will be in the same, cappy situation they were in before they were stripping...before they lose their looks.
November 17, 2009 at 3:16 p.m.
garyr (anonymous) says…

But if they quit stripping, how are they gong to fix their cars?
November 17, 2009 at 3:19 p.m.
This comment was removed by the site staff for violation of the usage agreement.

November 17, 2009 at 4:02 p.m.
somedude20 (anonymous) says…

Anna's stories now have to compete with "cockfighting" stories. Have you ever seen a cockfight at the Outhouse? Maybe that could be your thesis, I mean, your topic for the next story.
November 17, 2009 at 4:20 p.m.
jajacut (Jeff Cuttell) says…

Good and informative. Looking forward to reading the next installment. I'd like to hear about what goes on in the dressing rooms.
November 17, 2009 at 4:29 p.m.
Fixed_Asset (anonymous) says…

Oh brandy, just a guess - I think there are a few women out there who might be a tad jealous of another with a better body. The fact that you called her a hooker, tells me quite a bit about you. You said you "could care less" about these blogs (think you meant "couldn't care less" but I suppose they don't teach that in grad school) so something prompted you to post anyway. Maybe the green-eyed monster, maybe not.
As to your username - you registered to comment on the Hernandez hit and run case, brandy is the owner of the car, so.......I think it's wrong to allow you to imply someone is guilty before a trial. Just my opinions, honey, we all have 'em. LOL
November 17, 2009 at 4:39 p.m.
newbee2 (anonymous) says…

Okay, I have been reading these blogs and find them rather bland. Okay, maybe the problem is I am a female, and am not fantasizing about seeing Anna or the others in some club some night....but you know, I want to read something interesting....like tell me about all the scrubbing and moisturizing you do, do you luffa or use some brand of exfoliant? What is the best moisturizers? What kind of make-up you wear on stage that doesn't wear off with sweat or when booze gets spilled on you, or where you buy your clothes? Any tips for average women (ya know housewives and business women) that want to have some sex appeal at home for their men, and not perform in public? Can you tell some interesting stories about the men in the clubs and what they tell you? What they want to talk about? Do they talk about their wives/girlfriends/kids, etc? Or do they talk about sex and what they "wish" their wives did? Come on, Anna. You are on the frontlines, seeing the male of our species in his rawest form without the bells and whistles he uses to try to impress a girl he wants to date or his wife and all you got is interviews with other strippes on why someone started stripping? Who cares. Get to the good stuff, will ya?????? Geez!
November 17, 2009 at 4:57 p.m.
OldEnuf2BYurDad (anonymous) says…

"So many guys make rude comments, and stare, and slap you on the ass. It’s like, well, why not use that and make money off it? If anything, I feel better about myself because I don’t have to depend on men anymore."

Did I just read that?

#1: ALL men (apparently) slap women on the ass. I did not know that. I've never slapped a woman on the ass. I've never seen any of my male friends do that. Who the hell are you hanging out with?

#2: You are 100% dependent on men! They give you money if you will debase yourself in front of them. Without that, how many tips are you gonna get from the women who come to your workplace?

The best post on here is from Ms Con1. What DO the fat girls do when their cars break down? Curl up and die? No... they find a way to make it, even if it's a hard way to make it, without giving up their honor.

I also noticed that all of these girls are talking about the influence of their mothers, but none of them have discussed the influence of their fathers. If all men slap you on the ass, then someone has learned some really crappy stuff from the men in their lives.
November 17, 2009 at 4:58 p.m.
denak (anonymous) says…

Ok, I tried to stay away from these posts because I felt it was a losing situation but I really can't believe that are so few people willing to point out the error of Anna's ways.

Anna is setting herself up for failure. I think it is already evident that "Sasha" and "Cherry" are already, in some ways" failing at life.

Stripping is not a respectable job. As much as "Sasha" thinks working at McDonalds is inferior to stripping, the reality is that at least one can put McDonalds down on a resume. On one of Anna's previous post, another stripper posted that she knew Anna and that she has been stripping for about 9 years and is going to return to stripping. Could it be that the reason she has to return to stripping is that she has nothing to show on her resume? That she can't get any other job because she essentially has no real work history.

It is kind of sad. People are applauding "Sasha" yet what you are applauding is the fact that a young girl, had to turn to stripping after her Mom walked out on her and she was destitute. Rather than being a case study for female emancipation, she is really just another example of female exploitation.
And as much as they want to think men respect them, the reality is that most men do not respect them and that they are never going to get a quality guy because no man with any ambition or who wants a "good" woman to raise his kids is going to want a stripper.

Now you all can go ahead and rip me apart but the reality is that no one respects stripping and if they really think people don't look down on stripping and think it is just one very small step above prostitution, go out and look for a job. Put your stripping jobs on your application. See how many call backs you get. Probably none and if you do get one, and it is from guy, you can rest assured, he doesn't really want you for a chashier's position.

Dena
November 17, 2009 at 5:06 p.m.
consumer1 (anonymous) says…

Good post Dena. Very well said.
Con1
November 17, 2009 at 5:11 p.m.
newbee2 (anonymous) says…

Well, Oldenuff2burdad, men slap each other on the butt all the time....they even do it on their jobs to say "attaboy", but they don't generally do it to women in other workplaces, except maybe Anna's. So these are the things about the male psychy that I want to get to the heart of.
Why is it appropriate for men to smack other men's bums, and swat strippers, but they wouldn't dare do that in the office to a female co-worker? (I mean forget sexual harrassment for a second and think this through) Do the men that go to strip clubs see the women there as their equal, or do they see them so far below other females they deal with on a daily basis that this behavior is deemed acceptable somehow (some sort of sign that the swatter is above the swattee in the chain of command, like saying "I am the Alpha male therefore I can touch your butt, but you can't touch mine"...like Alpha wolves smell the butts of inferiors wolves in the pack but don't allow inferior wolves in the pack to smell their butts). I want to know! Anna, what is your take on this behavior?
November 17, 2009 at 5:15 p.m.
BMI (anonymous) says…

Absolute social RUIN for a child if a classmate or their in this town learn the child's mother was a stripper at most schools. One slip, it would get all around school and come back to slap the kid in the face the entire time until they graduated.

Is that the kind of self esteem killer a mom wants to plant on their kid? It's bad enough when the child doesn't have all the nicer things in life, but to have a demoralizing thing like this added on, no matter how much 'extra cash' is brought in, or how much the child 'might understand once they grow up', the harm it will probably do 'during' the child's formative years are far worse. Just as bad as the child's parent being in prison. Or a drug dealer, meth addict. It's all the same, ALL the same.
You're young, you think there is a difference. Not in the eyes of the general public.

No difference at all. Whether you are doing anything with the customers or not, yes or no to the drugs.

It's like trying to make a Disney movie about a Friendly Piranha'

It swims around with other Piranha.

It might be prettier, happier,smarter, nicer than other Piranha.

It kills like other Piranha,

It just doesn't swallow.

;)
November 17, 2009 at 6:20 p.m.
cherry_blossom (anonymous) says…

As far as the car accident, I have been (as of January) able to afford a brand new car, so if anything should go wrong at this point, my warranty will cover it. And just for the record, if I wasn’t dancing and needed my car fixed, or just needed a new car, I would be able to take care of it.
Re: the comments about car trouble and needing a job to pay for new parts/maintenance: Dancing is a choice that I made. Regardless of the accident, I still would have become a dancer. I have amazing customer service skills and can and have applied them to make it through life so far.
November 17, 2009 at 7:49 p.m.
cherry_blossom (anonymous) says…

Like I said in my interview above, dancing is something that I’ve always wanted to try. I was only planning on dancing for a couple months until I found another job to replace it, but instead of bouncing back and forth from job to job I decided I would stick out dancing until I figured out what I wanted to do with my life as far as a career. It took a while longer than I expected, but as of about two weeks ago, I have figured out my next move in life. Yay me!!
November 17, 2009 at 7:51 p.m.
cherry_blossom (anonymous) says…

No, I do not have a savings account Anna...;) I moved down to Kansas in December and had been working at a club that was not very popular and barely made enough money to pay my bills. Now that I have switched to a club where I make quite a bit more money I am finally able to put some money aside.
November 17, 2009 at 7:52 p.m.
jwsuber (anonymous) says…

In work we all try to balance time spent, enjoyment of the task, and value added. Part of the market value comes back to us in profit or wages.

Instead of chastising people who are doing what they can with a particular skill-set, look at the value produced, the time spent, and how much the production of value is enjoyed by the producers. This blog is invaluable as an insight into those factors.

Then look at your own job. No matter your preconceptions of strippers, be honest and compare. You get to learn about strippers and maybe a little about yourself.
November 17, 2009 at 8:22 p.m.
blue73harley (anonymous) says…

Just an observation - there have been more deletions on the cock fighting story than on all of the stripper blogs.

The award winning online LJW at its finest.

Carry on.
November 17, 2009 at 8:24 p.m.
AnnaUndercover (Anna Undercover) says…

@newbee2
You are so right. I *have* felt that my posts have lacked something... My next one goes out to you! :) Hope it's what you're looking for.

Unfortunately, you'll probably have to wait until Sunday at the earliest. Saturday night is the best night to blog about, and I get off work at 4am and I'm incredibly sore and tired. I've been too scared and busy to write out the crazy stuff that goes down, but I can't be such a chicken. I am (generally) on my feet, dancing, and selling-selling-selling for full 12-hour shifts for three consecutive days. I'll hit up Starbucks and make it happen this weekend at the latest.

There is SO much to tell--and yes, it gets juicy!--and I get so tired. I won't let you down this coming week. I WILL get the info to you. :)

And yes, I have a LOAD of beauty tips for you. And "stripper moments" to share. And amazing "are you serious" customer stories to share. Including one from last Saturday in which someone hit my butt so hard he broke my skin. (Me: "WTF?!" Him: "Oh, sorry; here's $8. Does that make it better?" Idiot. I made sure the next girl knew exactly what he did and he didn't get a single dance from any of us all night, that I'm aware of).

The good stuff is on the way! :) I'll work up the courage and just put it all out there (like I planned to in the first place, derr)!
November 17, 2009 at 8:38 p.m.
AnnaUndercover (Anna Undercover) says…

@brandy_is_guilty
Are you certain that Sasha was referring to dating prospects when she spoke of her escape route from her "abusive situation"?

If I am, or ever was enrolled in any KU program, it is news to me. I am sure that if I was seeking (or already possessed) a degree in journalism, I would demonstrate a firmer grasp of AP style. :)
November 17, 2009 at 9:58 p.m.
parrothead8 (anonymous) says…

brandy_is_guilty (Anonymous) says…
Maybe it is because people with real jobs really don't care about hookers, I mean strippers. And could care less about these blogs after reading the first one.

Said the person who just read the blog. After the first one.
November 17, 2009 at 10:36 p.m.
youarewhatyoueat (anonymous) says…

I had no idea that in order to escape from an abusive situation, it is vital to search for another man asap, and her job must be where she meets him.

Crap, even in my job (not stripping), I would never dream of looking for a prospective mate there.
November 18, 2009 at 1:26 a.m.
flinthills (anonymous) says…

I'm a social worker in child welfare, and a reasonable percentage of my cases, over the years, have involved children whose mothers were in the exotic industry, be it dancing, escorting or otherwise.

Having met as many or more strippers in my life as the blogger – and dealing more intimately with their lives beyond what's being presented here, I thought I'd impart:

*Dancers often arrive at their career as a product of broken or abusive relationships. It is typically a court of last resort, not because it's the best use of their talents, no matter what the author here would have you believe. And, for many of them, it becomes a lifetime court of last resort. The minute something falls through – back to the club, until the club won't take them anymore.

*Dancers may insist their career is initially “empowering,” but, with swift progression, it becomes dehumanizing and distancing, not merely because of public opinion, but the behavior of clients. This is reflected in the way they lead their lives outside the job. Their houses are a mess. Their children are poorly cared for. Their personal lives are destructive and negative, full of people who don't “understand” their situation – and yet there they are, intimately involved in the situation.

*Drugs are a major problem. It's so sad to see one of the subjects in this blog be so flippant about it! It's absolutely a reality of the situation. Dancers transfer one-quarter to one-half of their take-home salary directly to their addiction of choice – frequently painkillers. In second place: Meth.

*Theft is a major problem. Stealing at strip clubs – girls from clients, girls from other girls – is rampant. I've seen five of my cases head to jail for that very thing over the years.

*Dancers talk tough about never submitting to their clients, but, sooner or later, they find themselves involved in a negative, abusive relationship with a client. It's not necessarily about sex; rather, the transactions are about money and “companionship,” and the dancer finds the money too hard to resist. Let me tell you, there's not much more pathetic than a dancer smoking cigarettes and playing UNO with an old man five hours a week for $300.

*Dancers almost always pick the wrong guy. Almost always select a guy who supposedly “has no problem” with what they do. Well, how many guys who “have no problem” with dating a stripper are guys worth dating to anyone who isn't? Dancers tend to pick, in fact, feckless “motherless” types who need taking care of.

My biggest complaint about this blog is the cutesy, clever tone of it. The strip club is bereft of such levity. Owners – I've dealt with too many! - are typically overweight, crass, alcohol and drug addicts themselves. The clientele is sneaky at best, two-faced at worst. Owners often pit girls against one another in an attempt to “up the ante” on erotic behavior, and thus tips. And, always, there is alcohol, alcohol, alcohol for the girls.
November 18, 2009 at 2:09 p.m.
AnnaUndercover (Anna Undercover) says…

@flinthills
I regret that your clients were not well suited to the work environment; it must have been difficult for you to watch, especially with children involved.
November 18, 2009 at 2:52 p.m.
AnnaUndercover (Anna Undercover) says…

@flinthills
Perhaps it will be nice to learn about those who might not find themselves at the wrong end of your desk?
November 18, 2009 at 3:16 p.m.
Zilla (anonymous) says…

It's ridiculous that people have developed stereotypes about a profession they are NOT employed in and only have secondhand (at most) knowledge of.
Not all dancers have drug problems. Most dancers that have children actually spoil them as opposed to mistreating them.
I think I've read more rude comments about Anna's blog then I've ever heard come out of a customers mouth.
November 18, 2009 at 3:35 p.m.
newbee2 (anonymous) says…

I don't know about the post from the social worker or others on here that are addressing certain issues because I don't personally know any strippers. But I do know and I think all women on here need to realize that most men have at one time or another visited a strip club and that is why I am trying to keep an open mind here and learn something. Honestly, at some point in time, the strip clubs became the new "golf course" for business men to take clients, so let's hear more on that issue and some of the other things that I have requested Anna to speak on in future blogs. If men are abusive to the dancers in these clubs, we as women in society need to know about this and find out why that is allowed. I think Anna could provide some vital information (if she will dare to get into that reality) so that women can learn how some of our brothers, fathers, cousins, uncles, husbands, boyfriends, sons and bosses act when they think no one is watching or cares. If men are being abusive to these women, I think it is important to know that and understand what is creating this to happen, not just rant and rave and call strippers stupid or tell them they are lowering themselves. This is a business that is driven by a demand, a demand that is going to be filled by someone. So why not read what someone in that business has to say about it? It isn't something that is going to go away, but maybe understanding the industry and what goes on behind the curtain is good for women as a whole. You can pretend that "your man" doesn't go there, or that he would "never swat a stripper on the bum" but maybe someone's husband or boyfriend is the guy that spanked her hard enough to leave a mark. Is that acceptable? Who is allowing that to be acceptable? Is the strip club a place where men can release their aggressive tendencies toward a woman, and does it lead to more aggression toward other non-stripper females? Maybe Anna, or some of her older stripper friends, can shed some insight on this. Maybe this blog can become more informative than just some cutesy "I am having fun and I love it" blurb. I don't know. I am waiting to see what Anna posts next.
November 18, 2009 at 4:54 p.m.
Zilla (anonymous) says…

@newbee2

You make me extremely sad. The fact that you would rather hear some depressing tales when obviously there aren't many to be had leaves me wondering if maybe something is wrong with you in your life? You might be curious to see if people out there have it worse than you?
If you read the previous blogs by Anna, I think you may find she already answered most of your questions or someone else has.
i really hope you're not as creepy as you come off in your comments.
November 18, 2009 at 5:28 p.m.
AnnaUndercover (Anna Undercover) says…

@newbee2
:) I hope you like the next post. Friday mid-day if it works out, but likely Sunday at the earliest.
November 18, 2009 at 5:38 p.m.
tubs_of_love (anonymous) says…

Why is it important to "understand the industry?" In my opinion, if strip clubs all of the sudden became banned all across the world, it would not have an effect on the clients. Why? Because it is not a necessity. Let's look at health care, now there's an industry that could use some more understanding.

I think flinthills makes a good point. I mean it does sound as if he/she knows a thing or two, about a thing or two, and you're pretty quick to deny any of it. You might be a good person, but it would be nice to hear you admit to something. You know what they say, the first sign of a problem is denial.

Please stop calling newbee sad. :( Just tell the truth. :) It's ok, I know you won't.
November 18, 2009 at 6:10 p.m.
rbwaa (anonymous) says…

"And “stripper moments” to share. And amazing “are you serious” customer stories to share. Including one from last Saturday in which someone hit my butt so hard he broke my skin. (Me: “WTF?!” Him: “Oh, sorry; here's $8. Does that make it better?” Idiot. I made sure the next girl knew exactly what he did and he didn't get a single dance from any of us all night, that I'm aware of)."
=========================
Of all the comments from Anna so far this one - "someone hit my butt so hard he broke my skin" - made me saddest. How can the only consequence this ***hole got was "he didn't get a single dance from any of us all night"? Why was he not at least thrown out of the club? Better yet, why was he not reported for assault/battery? Would this abusive behavior be tolerated from a 'customer' in any other establishment? This example really diminishes the "I strip because I love it" rationale. How demeaning to be offered $8 for the privilege of being hit.
November 18, 2009 at 6:19 p.m.
AnnaUndercover (Anna Undercover) says…

@rbwaa
We did not have to throw the customer out because his party left soon after the incident occurred. Fear not, dear knight. I'm a tough cookie, and a professional one, most of the time!

Though I have to say I'm even less impressed with the restaurant he said he used to work at... Not only do they have an uncreative menu, but they hire brutes as well.
November 18, 2009 at 6:51 p.m.
Zilla (anonymous) says…

@tubs

Aw. I'm sorry. I forgot you know everything in the entire world. Please. Tell us how it is to be a stripper and how you got to this point. Inquiring minds would like to know.
I started dancing on a whim. It had nothing to do with anything. I just decided it sounded fun and profitable. And I was right. I have nights where I'm bored or mildly annoyed, but you can have those feelings at ANY job.
Why do people not want to hear the positive aspects of the profession, only the negative ones? If they already have it set in their mind that strippers are bad then why do they need to hear some dark, depressing tales to back up their theory?
November 18, 2009 at 7 p.m.
AnnaUndercover (Anna Undercover) says…

@Zilla
You know, it does bother me when people only look for information to back up the hypothesis they formulated in vacuum-like conditions, rather than looking at various resources (including primary resources, hello!) to inform their position...

A buddy of mine used to work for a guy who would write a piece and then make my buddy go dig up information so he could pretend to have some leg to stand on.

"Wharrgarbl!" I'd exclaim (before, during, and) after a few beers and the latest tale of this behavior. There was never anything I could do about it, of course, except shake my tiny fist at the sky. :P

For an illustration of this wharrgarbling, please see this link:
http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/wik...
November 18, 2009 at 7:18 p.m.
tubs_of_love (anonymous) says…

@Zilla - Awww, come on now, I don't know everything, but thanks!

Why do people want to hear the dark stories? Because they're much more interesting. It just makes for a better story, although it should have a happy ending though.
November 18, 2009 at 8:39 p.m.
Katara (anonymous) says…

So, out of curiosity, do any of you dance to this song?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dOibtq...
November 18, 2009 at 9:29 p.m.
thefisherman (anonymous) says…

I would bet $2,000 of my after tax dollars that she didn't pay any taxes on the $2,000 she used to pay for that transmission repair.
November 18, 2009 at 9:41 p.m.
jwsuber (anonymous) says…

For newbee2 and anyone else wondering about what guys are thinking when they go to a strip-club, here is something of an internal dialog that I wrote down after reading Anna's first blog. I won't claim this is representative of most. There is no way to know that.

Strangelove. Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Stripper.

Now finally rattling down the gravel road I've already turned it over 30,000 times: Its not cheating, we're breaking up. Heck I know married guys who go to these places. How awkward though? Can I have a strange woman naked on my lap? What does that do to her? They say it is better here at ELB than anywhere. This is freedom! So freedom is a descent into hedonism? A hedonistic heaven & hell. What's next, heroin? Don't be so dramatic... This might just be... frustrating. Give me a beer. Sometimes I hate customers, why wouldn't they? But it has to be worth it or they wouldn't do it. They want to be anonymous, so do I. Suzy would freak. Repeat ad infinitum.

We arrive. The only way to break out of the mental loop is go in the door. Not as seedy as the last time I was here... in pre-grunge 1990 or so, watching the Sin City Disciples play louder than loud, watching kids slam into each other and piss in the corner exactly like the movie S.L.C.-Punk. That is all gone in favor of tables, chairs, black-lights and generally terrible "music you can dance to."

Oh yeah, there are naked girls walking right past like it is no thing at all. I didn't count the money, didn't want to know what I brought. Seemed like enough and it is. Heck I'm here and I don't see why I need to spend another dime... But now this pretty pretty girl says I should follow her around on a tour. She is putting her hands on me, but even more important is that eye contact. Betty Page says nice things. There is that spark I look for. It has to be a trick. What the heck, it is a damn good trick!

Love the female shape, the way a waist turns into hips. I need some more beer. Alcohol to forget for fleeting instants that this is all an illusion. Betty has a story, but it wouldn't be proper to get too attached. Lets see who else is here. For a while we can talk about life, fake ones and real ones. Fake ones and real ones, ha. Fun.

Crap! For a half-second I felt like I was cheating on Betty - on Betty not Suzy. Maybe I was cheating... or celebrating. Floating a bit. There are moments of child-like and innocent amazement to be found yet in this world, here at a strip-club. Not all is work and saving and bourgeois values constantly, constantly repaired as levies against a coming flood.

Time to go. It is cold outside. I sell an unfinished box of High-Life to some desperate guys for $10 and ride home through the fog.
November 18, 2009 at 11:35 p.m.
rbwaa (anonymous) says…

AnnaUndercover (Anonymous) says…

@rbwaa
We did not have to throw the customer out because his party left soon after the incident occurred. Fear not, dear knight. I'm a tough cookie, and a professional one, most of the time!
======================

I'm just curious though, has anybody been thrown out for inappropriate behavior? I still believe this was an assault that should have been immediately handled rather than wait for him to leave 'soon after the incident'
November 19, 2009 at 8:37 a.m.
AnnaUndercover (Anna Undercover) says…

@jwsuber
That should be its own post!

@rbwaa
I responded to your comment; not sure what happened. People absolutely get thrown out for inappropriate behavior. Some recent examples:
-drunk idiot interrupting my ability to conduct business by throwing ice at me whilst I gave a dance to another customer
-a group of guys after one of them tried to expose himself to me
November 19, 2009 at 9:46 a.m.
monkey_c (anonymous) says…

I can see where the flattery would initially raise your self confidence...initially perhaps. But if I were at work and got slapped (anywhere, let alone on the hiney) or had ice thrown on me, we would have a problem. That's a hostile workplace! I would have to get paid a whole lot to withstand abuse like that at work. I mean a whole, whole lot, because that is very degrading. Much more degrading then getting cash stuffed in the nether-regions while shakin' it.
November 19, 2009 at 10:56 a.m.
honeychild (Mel Briscoe) says…

monkey brings up a valid point. i mean, we've all seen the employee orientation films which include info on workplace violations... is there such a thing as a hostile work environment at a booby bar? i'm not even trying to be funny, i'm serious. when does it cross the line into harrassment and when said line is crossed, is there anything the dancer (or cocktail waitress, or bartender, or DJ) can do about it? if they complained, would it fall on deaf ears?

i know that strip joints have bouncers and most of them have rules about touching so the patrons know their boundaries. but i have also heard from pretty much every dude who has been to one that some strippers don't mind touching as much and actually encourage it! one guy i know said that he knows what fake boobs feel like because of a lap dance he got from a stripper in which she actually took his hands and placed them on her breasts. and i know that this guy was not, and probably never has been, thrown out of the establishment.

so what constitutes a hostile work environment in a gentleman's club? or it an effort in futility to cry foul in a place like that?
November 19, 2009 at 11:15 a.m.
AnnaUndercover (Anna Undercover) says…

@honeychild
"...in which she actually took his hands and placed them on her breasts."

You should absolutely go to a strip club and learn what the rules are, how things work, etc. Unless you want to wait for my next post. :)
November 19, 2009 at 1:06 p.m.
honeychild (Mel Briscoe) says…

this was at a strip club in salina, anna... the wild west.

i don't really want to go in a strip joint. my best friend used to work as a cocktail waitress in the club here and it doesn't sound as if it would be a place i'd enjoy.
November 19, 2009 at 2:17 p.m.
AnnaUndercover (Anna Undercover) says…

@honeychild
Definitely do what you feel comfortable with. Remember, though, that adventures are fun! My best regular customer is a woman. :)
November 19, 2009 at 2:49 p.m.
honeychild (Mel Briscoe) says…

^^^ i'll bear that in mind, anna. i bet its nice having a woman as a customer after seeing alot of scummy men all day.

just a thought-- no i'm not men bashing, roe. ;P
November 19, 2009 at 3:24 p.m.
flinthills (anonymous) says…

In response:

Everyone here is, of course, entitled to their own opinion. I'm simply providing my long-term experience with dozens of people in the industry. That experience is uniformly bad.

If it offends the six strippers in Kansas with fabulous, heroic lives full of spoiled children, wonderful relationships and homes purchased with mounds of dollars that's been stuffed into their g-string, well, I am certain they'll survive my slings and arrows, be it that they survive ice, drunks and 12-hour shifts with such skill and pleasure.

My experience is, indeed, anecdotal - but so Anna's data to this point and, what's more, her spin on it. Having ice thrown at you, or seeing someone else's private parts, for example, is hardly anyone's idea of fun or empowerment, and suggesting it takes someone "well-suited" to the work to survive such an atmosphere is akin to our fair coach Mangino playing coy to making fun of his players' alcoholic fathers.

Again, what folks reading this blog should tune their censors to is the "oh, gee!" tone of the writing. Blog after blog, I predict, will be more of this artful dodger nonsense, where every compromising situation is twisted into dark comedy for the sake of entertainment and "enlightenment."

I'm just saying this: I've seen the other side of it. It's pretty bad. Take it for what it's worth.

And now I'm done. I'm not here to consistent pain in the rear. Last comment. Last blog read, in fact. I know enough of the sad, true story to indulge sunny fiction.
November 19, 2009 at 4:22 p.m.
honeychild (Mel Briscoe) says…

^^^^ gloomy gus.
November 19, 2009 at 5:03 p.m.
newbee2 (anonymous) says…

I particularly enjoyed jwsuber's post. Thank you. Interesting perspective and nearly poetic.

Again, I am just curious. As a woman, I have been to see the Chippendale's a couple of times, but not sure that those experiences are equivalent to what men experience in a strip club....especially since male strip joints aren't common place (ya know exisiting establishments open everyday...and I really wonder why that is....is it that women want more than to just look? Need more than just a visual?). First time was kind of fun....hot male bodies dancing around, but the second time just didn't do it for me, left me rather jaded, really. Started wondering if most of the male dancers were not hetero (not that being homo is bad, but I like hetero men, have no desire in trying to switch somebody back to the other team...not happen)....saw women throwing themselves at the dancers, the dancers going table to table, trying to sell autographed photos, etc....wanting more money....kissing multiple women....pretty women, average women, nasty ugly women, then making their way to my table to offer a kiss....that was when I had a huge "please get away from me" turn-off moment. I guess I just wonder if that goes on in female strip clubs....probably does. Anna?
I do get what jwsuber was saying....my interpretation would be "like a kid in a candy store". The spark....yeah, I comprehend that, too. Women get the same feeling when an attractive man flashes that look at her...the one that says "yeah, girl, I find you attractive, too." Maybe women and men aren't all that different....but maybe we are, just in the ways that count the most. But I think when going in to see the Chippendales, most women know, you aren't leaving with one back to a hotel. Do men think differently? Do they want to, do they hope to? Just asking.

@Zilla: I am not sad, nor am I asking Anna to tell us only sad, sad horror stories. But if she has something insightful to tell, I'd like to read it.

@Tubs: Closing these places down isn't going to happen. It is like prohibition on alcohol....somebody is going to start making it in the backyard or bathtub and selling it because the demand for alcohol would still be there. My curiousity is about the demand. Maybe it is the "old cow" theory, but I think, if people were honest, men like to see, as jwsuber put it, "strange"....I know he didn't mean weird, he just meant different. That is why Playboy and Hugh has made millions or billions or whatever.

@flinthills: I didn't mean to imply that what you have observed and had professional opportunity to witness is not valid, but I am certain that you have seen your fairshare of women from other lines of work with the same problems. Domestic violence, child abuse, alcoholism and drug use happen across all of society, not just to strippers, it happens in rich families too, sometimes in families that you'd least expect. You could put that into perspective, you know.
November 19, 2009 at 5:03 p.m.
OldEnuf2BYurDad (anonymous) says…

"someone hit my butt so hard he broke my skin"

And this still didn't send off any red flags for you? In what profession (outside of boxing) does a person have an expectation that a purposeful act by another person might cause unwanted cuts on one's body? "I got assualted, but that's OK because I'm tough"? Coach Mangino is possibly on the verge of losing his job for nasty comments and a poke in the chest. You don't feel any outrage at having been violated on the job?

You still don't see that as demeaning? You don't have an instinct that says "This isn't the place for me?"
November 19, 2009 at 5:05 p.m.
newbee2 (anonymous) says…

@Oldenuff.....
Your points are valid. Should Anna's workplace have a lesser expectation of safety and civility? I don't think it should. Maybe these are the differences that occur between a club that is poorly managed and one that enforces decorum and respect. I don't know if they are all the same. I have never been in one. Have you? But to me, these are things to know and understand. Women owe it to other women to ensure that everyone, no matter what their job title is, gets treated non-abusively. If abuse is happening, maybe more regulatory oversight is due in those places that allow it. Would strippers want or appreciate that? Who regulates these places besides the owners/managers? Anyone know?
November 19, 2009 at 5:26 p.m.
rbwaa (anonymous) says…

@rbwaa
I responded to your comment; not sure what happened. People absolutely get thrown out for inappropriate behavior. Some recent examples:
-drunk idiot interrupting my ability to conduct business by throwing ice at me whilst I gave a dance to another customer
-a group of guys after one of them tried to expose himself to me
==========================
Anna,
Thank you, you did respond to my comment but not satisfactorily. The above incidents of patrons being thrown out seems reasonable. What doesn't seem reasonable is that the ***hole who hit you was *not* thrown out or even given any more response than WTF and avoided by the other dancers.

This sticks in my craw. It makes me think perhaps that he was a 'regular customer' or perhaps someone important that nobody wanted to offend. If somebody hit me hard enough to break the skin I would have wanted charges filed in addition to him being immediately and forcefully ejected out the door. Why didn't the bouncer or management do something?

I don't think you or any of the other dancers should have to tolerate crap like that.
November 19, 2009 at 5:51 p.m.
tubs_of_love (anonymous) says…

@newbee2 - I never said that strip clubs are actually going to shut down, I said "if". Of course i'll admit, thats a rather bad example, because smut will never, ever go away.

@Anna - When someone gives me constructive criticism, i'll eventually listen. I haven't heard you agree to anything, instead you defend anything and everything, maybe you are just perfect, or just young.
November 19, 2009 at 5:55 p.m.
AnnaUndercover (Anna Undercover) says…

@rwbaa
I didn't get the bouncer immediately because I didn't realize I was bleeding until another girl pointed it out. Frequently, if management doesn't *witness* something, it can be hard to convince them that it happened and have the person thrown out. (Yes, even if I'm bleeding). That can work for us (if a customer is being unreasonable and lying about something we did) and against us, which is perhaps why I did not immediately get a bouncer. :P And no, I don't think I should have to tolerate crap like that, either. Next time it happens, I should pursue the matter more vigorously... I definitely could have at least tried to do that, and I did not. (And I feel extra bad about it because frankly, when you don't turn someone in, you're putting *everyone else* at risk to experience what happened to you, or worse). :P

@tubs_of_love
How can I be perfect *and* a stripper?! Something in the universe just imploded. :)
November 20, 2009 at 8:44 a.m.
rbwaa (anonymous) says…

Anna,
Perhaps one of the things that might help in these kinds of situations is to have a frank discussion with the management and bouncers about paying attention to and trusting the dancers when they report inappropriate behavior. This might go a long way toward minimizing the 'hostile work enviroment' that other commenters here have mentioned. Trust is an important factor in your line of work.
November 20, 2009 at 9:11 a.m.
AnnaUndercover (Anna Undercover) says…

@rbwaa
I absolutely agree, but it's complicated, and I do care about keeping my job very much because I find it so enjoyable, even with the occasional rough night. (Sorry to be slightly cryptic, but if I give too much away, there will be that much less to write about). :D
November 20, 2009 at 9:22 a.m.
AnnaUndercover (Anna Undercover) says…

Working on next entry. :)

@newbee2
Sorry it's not up yet!
November 23, 2009 at 12:13 a.m.
Manyroses (anonymous) says…

I am appalled at the predjudice and negativity here...I've been a stripper for over five years, and have actually NEVER met a meth user, wasted abusive mother, or any of the other stereotypes listed here. I have a loving and solid family, and went to law school. Many of the girls I have worked with over the years have been finishing masters, medical and law degrees, or chose the profession as a lucrative sideline to a burgeoning career in the creative industries. (which is why we aren't too concerned about resumes, although I have included stripping on mine several times, to no ill effect). I am apprenticing as a tattoo artist, and intend to work until I retire at thirty, because I would much rather choose my hours, my workspace, my holidays and my customers, and work for myself without policy, dress codes or the need to sit in a grey felt box for forty hours a week feeling my soul shrivel inside me. Interestingly, there were more coke heads in recruitment than in clubs in London. I am sane, clean, whole and healthy, and feel bad for Rhodes who need to spew negativity put into the world via the Internet. To any open minded people reading this blog....don't believe the hype! God bless...
November 24, 2009 at 2:27 a.m.
OTSSweeper (anonymous) says…

Manyroses, I think you made up most of that post. Has anyone here EVER met a stripper who finished their undergrad? (I'm referring to a person's first four-year college degree, manyroses)
November 24, 2009 at 3:12 a.m.
AnnaUndercover (Anna Undercover) says…

@OTSSweeper
:) You have obviously never bought a dance from me, Sweeper.
November 25, 2009 at 7:08 p.m.
sherbert (anonymous) says…

It's pretty obvious from the article that the girls are not that educated. It is what it is, don't try to glamorize it. They're low rent girls doing a low rent job (maybe making good money at it, but sacrificing their respect). It takes all kinds to make the world go 'round.
November 25, 2009 at 7:39 p.m.
Zilla (anonymous) says…

^ One of the most ignorant comments yet.
December 2, 2009 at 3:21 p.m.
acg (anonymous) says…

So I decided I was gonna tone some stuff that has started sagging after popping out two kids in the last three years and I bought that stripper pole/chair workout and got my in-home three month pole trial usage and all and off I go. I have a whole new respect for you people Anna. This workout is kicking my a**. I can't imagine having to do this, and not look sweaty, in 4 inch heels and pasties and still be all hot and inviting to men so they want to put money in your drawers. Anyone see that episde of King of Queens when Carrie got the pole? I swear I look like that. It's bad. And it's hard and my hat is off to you. Only my hat. Trust me, you wouldn't want to see the rest of it.
December 2, 2009 at 3:33 p.m.