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Stripper Announcement: I'm Going to Paris! And Here's Who's Coming With Me...


I can't go to Paris without taking a little bit of Lawrence, Kansas with me. Since I can't take pictures of myself, I'll take pictures of your stuff all over the city and post it in this blog!

Here's a list of whose stuff will be coming with me.

Fellow blogger @msilverman's Kif Kroker figurine.

The portrait of beautiful, @Veritas, will be sending her mini T-Rex (think Toy Story!) to France.

A yet-to-be-determined item from deployed soldier @gentlemanc's stash of stuff out here in Kansas.

@cait48's penguin will be ice skating in Paris!

@Zilla's 3" R2D2 will be bleeping all over the city of light.

Last, but certainly not least: @kublackbird's 6" house gnome!

I will be private messaging each of you to make arrangements to pick up your knick knack before I leave on December 21st. There might be more, or less, in the end. Hopefully, 'everyone' will get to go!

Hooray for Paris!


Succotash 8 years, 6 months ago

@kublackbird - you make that sound dirty. ;P

AnnaUndercover 8 years, 6 months ago

@kublackbird I am so excited! I'm glad you volunteered your gnome. What international trip is complete without a gnome in the picture?!

Cait McKnelly 8 years, 6 months ago

Oh my! I have an entire COLLECTION of penguins! I'll have to sort through them to find something the right size and weight and cuteness.

AnnaUndercover 8 years, 6 months ago

@cait48 Get to work, Miss Thang! Pick something small, light, and photogenic. :) I'm so excited!

Cait McKnelly 8 years, 6 months ago

I think I have just the thing. It's a small copy of the TY Beanie Baby penguin named Waddles. (http://www.amazon.com/Ty-Beanie-Babies-Waddle-Penguin/dp/B00070DI4S. I also have this full size version) McDonald's put it out some time ago as a Happy Meal toy. It's little, a Beanie Baby so it's light and will fit in your purse and I think it's cute. If you would prefer something else I have others.

Vic 8 years, 6 months ago

Makes me wish I had something to give you to bring. Plus, I figured it was Paris, even before Mr. Partypooper guessed in the last blog related to this. You clue "a famous city" and somewhere where you friend doesn't speak the language. I think I remember you writing in French in a comment a while ago. Just put 2 and 2 together. Only other thought was probably Prague.

llama726 8 years, 6 months ago

Oh Pogo, you are indeed the baddest and toughest to be found in all of the Internets...

AnnaUndercover 8 years, 6 months ago

@cait48 The beanie baby should be fine. :) Yay!

@Vic I love Prague! But my Czech is sooooo horrendous. Slavic languages are something I doubt I'll ever master.

@Pogo Strumpet? I think the last time I read that word it was in a novel by one of the Bronte sisters. Bring it back! :)

llama726 8 years, 6 months ago

Good luck in Paris. This time of year, it's pretty miserably cold, or at least it was when I was there. Doesn't help to get really, really sick while you're there, either. I've forgotten it now, but for free drinks / good cheer, when you go to bars or other areas, I found it particularly helpful in both France and Spain to say "I'm an American... We're sorry about George Bush" in the language of the land... Usually gets you a laugh and a beer in my case :P

Vic 8 years, 6 months ago

Personally, I would love to go see more of Europe. I have only been to Italy. Got around decently without being multilingual. I only took 1 year of Spanish in high school, but it was enough to barely understand Italian, being of similar roots. Probably, I'd get around the same in France, but I doubt my luck.

Succotash 8 years, 6 months ago

@ Anna - You will love Paris. Beautiful city with a lot of history. Check out the Montparnasse and Montmartre districts. I think they will resonate with your soul.

@ Pogo - ??? Really, I mean really? Hmm I am half tempted to psychoanalyze your post and describe your sorry life.

I have an idea for your next post Anna. We need to make a stripper bingo card with all of the strange phrases and words that people use to talk down to you. Just think we could all be waiting for someone to call you a strumpet for the win. I think we should keep a running tap of the off color names people use.

AnnaUndercover 8 years, 6 months ago

@Succotash I studied in Paris in college. I'm traveling there as my friend's translator and guide. (And wedding date). :D

The bingo card idea sounds good! Maybe I'll make one for a week I'm on vacation and won't be writing. :D

I keep waiting for a really good, spot-on dis, but I haven't gotten one yet. Oh well. Like I said a couple posts ago, if they can't hack it, they should bench themselves.

Veritas 8 years, 6 months ago

squishy Rex or plastic Rex? :-D They're both excited, but I have a feeling one will be jealous...

AnnaUndercover 8 years, 6 months ago

@Veritas Does the squishy one stand up easily? If that's the case, I'll take him! He needs to pose for pictures.

Veritas 8 years, 6 months ago

yes he does...but he does not "rawr". I prefer plastic Rex because he looks more like the real deal! If you're looking for a contortionist, go with squish-meister.

Veritas 8 years, 6 months ago

i sent you a message elsewhere, fyi. check it!

AnnaUndercover 8 years, 6 months ago

@Veritas Got it! I responded.

Let's go with plastic T-Rex, then. He better fit nicely into my pretty purse. :) It's big enough to carry these odd little items. I'm so excited!

Cait McKnelly 8 years, 6 months ago

Strumpet. I actually read Moll Flanders by Daniel Defoe (I'm strange like that). The word brings back memories...

AnnaUndercover 8 years, 6 months ago

@cait48 It's a fun word. I might start using it more often.

How was Moll Flanders?

AnnaUndercover 8 years, 6 months ago

@Newell_Post "French whorn."

Though you get a C minus (very close to a D), that was the best dis on this blog so far. Finally! I was wondering if it would ever happen.

jaywalker 8 years, 6 months ago

Wow, Anna, Paris?! Have you ever been to Europe? This is one of your top ten trips of a lifetime kinda thing, you're gonna love it. Too many suggestions for where you should go, see, do..... just relax and be free. Paris is magnificent. Bon voyage!

AnnaUndercover 8 years, 6 months ago

@jaywalker I studied abroad a lot! In high school, I spent a summer in Spain, working on an archaeological dig. In college, I took a lab science in Paris and Pisa. After college, I put everything I owned in storage and bought a one-way ticket to Europe. I didn't come home for almost six months.

:) Paris is one of my favorite destinations. As I said in a comment above, I'm going there to act as a translator and guide for the friend who invited me. I'm very excited!

Merci. :)

Mel Briscoe 8 years, 6 months ago

who knew a stripper's life could be so glamorous and jet-setting. i should've been shaking my tatas for cash a long time ago... i might've made it to tahiti by now...

KansasPerson 8 years, 6 months ago

AnnaUndercover (Anonymous) says…

'@Newell_Post '“French whorn.”'

'Though you get a C minus (very close to a D), that was the best dis on this blog so far. Finally! I was wondering if it would ever happen.'

Oh nooooooo!!!! That was a GOOD pun -- surely Post gets an A+ for that?

p.s. I'll go with "trollop." :)

Succotash 8 years, 6 months ago

Hmm didn't have harlot on my bingo card yet.

Good ones we haven't heard yet. floozy, tart, hussy, trollop, courtesan and my favorite Jezebel. Seriously we have to make a check list and just start keeping track. Eventually some of these more closed minded people will have to start repeating themselves or make up some new words.

On further note I missed the why you dropped the other job post. 3 post in one day makes Anna a busy girl. Good luck on all of your other plans and keep up the good work.

AnnaUndercover 8 years, 6 months ago

@KansasPerson I appreciate your comment. Perhaps I did grade a bit harshly. We'll bump @Newell_Post up to a B minus for the French whorn.

A dramatic rise, but a deserved one. I do thoroughly enjoy a good joke at my expense!

Trollop! A delightfully entertaining word to look at. :) You get a small but amused smile, mostly because of the context of this dis. (Sorry! I'm tough). Not yet worthy of a golf clap, but I do appreciate and encourage your continued efforts. Keep it up.

Aside: When it comes to writing and conversation, I'm like a sappy teenager with an embarrassing secret obsession: If a truly exceptional person wields words written or spoken with the sensitivity and dexterity of a genius, they can never dis me enough!

When I am lucky enough to meet such a person, I quietly pull them close to me, secretly hoping they will delight me with some bitingly clever 'abuse.' As a rule, I do not bait them unnecessarily (I might turn them off), but when going about my business in writing or in conversation, I never yield to avoid the delightfully pleasurable sting of their attack!

I will likely never have need or occasion to confess it, but at that moment, the person has unquestionably captured my heart. More satisfying than any physical climax, I quietly crave these 'disses' more than anything else in the world.

KansasPerson 8 years, 6 months ago

I didn't see Newell_Post's comment as a dis, but just as a cute (musical) play on words. But possibly you've got a better memory than me and can remember previous Newell posts -- has he or she been rude in the past?

However, I see from your later comment that rude is not necessarily a bad thing, if the verbal-abuser is sufficiently erudite. I guess I can see that -- it would be like watching a well-scripted play, eh?

Sorry "trollop" didn't fly -- perhaps too tame to earn a spot on the Bingo card. Succotash had a few others, though!

Hope you're enjoying your evening and that the ELB is well heated. :)

Tom McCune 8 years, 6 months ago

LOL. In high school, Mr. Reese gave me a A for the day in honors English for "French whorn." (No kidding.) But Anna will only upgrade me to a B-. I hadn't used that joke in 30 years....

Christopher Gentleman 8 years, 6 months ago

Anna, A favorite of mine (Strumpet being a favorite already mentioned) is Slattern...it's a good word, and it really rolls off the tongue. Also, Floozy (Floozie), tart, and cocette.

Though the best insult I've ever come up with was when out and about I got from a overly cocky young attractive lady. "What are you looking at? Climbing a bit above your station aren't you?"
"I was thinking I'd rather climb on a piss soaked mattress, actually"

She was speechless...and so was I...laughing way too hard to talk at that point.

AnnaUndercover 8 years, 6 months ago

@KansasPerson Trollop can totally be on the Bingo card. :) It just doesn't make me all giddy like a better dis might. Lol. Worry not!

The ELB was adequately heated. :) Sweet of you to show concern.

@emily_litella You seem to have missed the early November comments by Online Editor Jon Kealing on this blog. I met with Mr. Kealing as well as the managing editor in person. If he wants to know if I am pretending to be another user, all he needs to do is compare the IP address of their comments to mine. Not exactly rocket science, and I'd be long gone if it was the case. No one likes a site full of fakes.

If you still want to challenge me, then make a challenge. Simply stating: "none of this fits together" is lazy. Your comment is an example of sub-Level Two commenting that I mentioned in an earlier post.

Really? Something doesn't 'fit'? Then state what you are talking about. Where are the cracks? Be specific. I'm a terrible liar, so you have an advantage already.

Discussions are no fun if others have to create your argument for you.

@gentlemanc :P Awful. You get an F, lol. I'll still take your stuff to Paris, though. :) You're on academic probation for now.

Mike Blur 8 years, 6 months ago

Hey Anna, is it too late for me to make my own contribution? It is very lightweight, very portable and absolutely Kansan, and absolutely priceless. I'll trust it with you! My very own copy of the Embarrassment's first single, "Patio Set/Sex Drive."

This record has sold for over $500 on ebay. Here's a web site about it: this is not my copy!


Nothing that you listed is inherently Kansan. What I am willing to loan you is quintessentially Kansan!

I can also loan you my copy of Tom Frank's "What's the Matter With Kansas" for the plane ride. Let me know!

Mike Blur 8 years, 6 months ago

Here is a scan of my own copy of the 7-inch I referenced in the previous post!: http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid...

Veritas 8 years, 6 months ago

I hope that Rex is not freezing in that mailbox!!

Christopher Gentleman 8 years, 6 months ago

Academic Probation?? Seriously? Awww...it wasn't that bad. And, she deserved it. I mean really, does one have to be considered a "Social Climber" just because I offered the buy her a drink. Which, by the way she was in need of having had finished her previous beverage, in a bar. She was having trouble getting the Bartenders attention, and since I worked there it would be fairly easy for me to help. And, as previously stated she was attractive. There was no call for her to be rude to me when I was just trying to be polite. Therefore, I postulate that she got what she deserved.

I will however suffer in the imposed probation for however long you deem necessary. Even if I don't think I deserve it.

KansasPerson 8 years, 6 months ago

@gentlemanc, "slattern" is a great example of a word that once meant one thing and now means another -- which can cause some confusion for someone who lives in the modern world but reads 19th-century books. A slattern used to be, basically, a slob -- someone who didn't keep things in order in her home or on her person -- a woman, particularly (I never read it used in reference to a man) -- who was untidy or had grease spots on her bodice or dust bunnies under her bed. (They even had a different phrase for "dust bunnies" in the 19th c -- but darned if I can remember it right now. I remember laughing when I saw it, though.)

Believe it or not, "slut" also used to have that meaning. A slut was a slatternly woman.

I see that thesaurus.com also suggests "jade" for our bingo card. But dictionary.com lists that (in its non-mineral definition) as a "disreputable or ill-tempered woman." Which is a shame because I was going to suggest it, but it's a bit confusing with that second meaning stuck in there. Whatever the online community and bingo-card makers think of her state of repute, Anna's never shown herself to be ill-tempered!

Drew_Carey 8 years, 6 months ago

200 pts to Anna.She may not be an ignorant slut but she shows she can set emily_litella straight as well as Jane did. Consider typing louder next time.

Raising one to you Gilda. http://vodpod.com/watch/1746631-hulu-saturday-night-live-weekend-update-emily-litella-on-violins-on-tv

acg 8 years, 6 months ago

I'm personally digging harlot or jezabel. ; )

AnnaUndercover 8 years, 6 months ago

@mike_blur You are so right. Nothing on the list is inherently Kansan. I can't take anything valuable with me, though. I lose those kinds of things. Maybe you have something else that's only worth, oh, fifty cents?! :)

@Veritas I meant to text you! I swooped by and picked him up. :) Cute note, by the way!

@gentlemanc Yes, sit in the corner and like it. ;)

@KansasPerson :)

@Drew_Carey ::quick tap on Drew's nose:: Hehe.

Mel Briscoe 8 years, 6 months ago

i had said that if i got another female cat i was going to name her jezabel but i named her isis instead.

Veritas 8 years, 6 months ago

I hope he was all you were wanting...and more!

I ooze cute.

AnnaUndercover 8 years, 6 months ago

@Veritas He is perfect! Lol! And yes, you do ooze cute.

Veritas 8 years, 6 months ago

did ya check out the bottom of his foot?

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