Comment history

Lawhorn's Lawrence: A tale of an abandoned baby, a dime and a Lawrence laundromat

I hope that finding you that day brought some peace to Mr. Grover's family. He was the angel watching over you that morning. Many times truth IS more bizarre than fiction.

January 18, 2013 at 8:41 p.m. ( | suggest removal )

Lawhorn's Lawrence: A tale of an abandoned baby, a dime and a Lawrence laundromat

None2, I get what you are saying because I am an adoptive mother.

"Who was there when you learned to walk and picked you up when you stumbled? Who fed and clothed you? Who wiped way your tears? Who laughed with you? Who tucked you in at night? Who kept your drawings you made way back in grade school? Who was there when you graduated? Who worried when you were late getting home? Who disciplined you when you got rebellious? "

I am very much my kid's mom. However, I am an adult adoptee. Adoptees are quite clear on who their parents are. But the biological tie cannot be denied ..... ever. Under any circumstances. Secret = shame to a child. Secret = bad to an adoptee.

People making the statement that "they are not your REAL parents" are ignorant to adoption and adoption issues. Those words should never be spoken to a child. If they are, those people should probably not be allowed to be alone around the child until they are educated.

I am curious to know if you are an adoptee. Only you know the truth on whether you are or not. The reason I question it is because you started off saying "Sometimes it is better to know less than more". That is completely false. The story is the adoptee's story. Period. It is THEIR truth. Period. It is THEIR truth to know or choose not to know. But that should be THEIR choice. Not a choice made by any other person. Ever.

As for your dear friend whose biological mother died, he looked at his mom's face. What was he supposed to say after she "turned white" and reacted like that? He was stuck between a rock and a hard place. His mom wouldn't have been replaced or betrayed. Why would she? Is it not the truth? Is he not that other woman's biological son? Why couldn't the obit have stated that? 100 years from now when someone is doing genealogy, they will not get a clue to the truth through that obituary. As the fishing widow stated about her mom "never feeling competent"...that is most likely what was showing in a split second on that adoptive mother's face. And it broke her son's heart. That is part of the education process in adoption....or rather the result when there is inadequate education in the process of adoption (either pre, during or post adoption).

The decision should have been your friend's decision. He is the adult and has the right to make the choices at this point in his life.

Education surrounding adoption is a hot spot for me (if you can't tell that by this post). I am also an adoption social worker and this is what I do. I educate, educate, end the myths, the "hurt feelings" and get real with adoption.

January 18, 2013 at 8:38 p.m. ( | suggest removal )

Lawhorn's Lawrence: A tale of an abandoned baby, a dime and a Lawrence laundromat

I find it so devastatingly sad that adoptees still have to go up against this secrecy "wall". The situation that George Braziller describes breaks my heart. For the birthfather to be so paralyzed by this 31 yr old "secret", for his daughter who is being robbed of the choice to meet and/or know her sister (or even know of her), for the grandparents loss of knowing they have a grandchild, etc. Secrecy in adoption is so wrong on so many levels, yet society allows it. The same old myths are promoted and well-meaning people like George feel the need to carry on these secrets. It's so damaging.

January 16, 2013 at 6:37 a.m. ( | suggest removal )