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Sexual assaults in Lawrence

· March 1, 2009 · Post a comment

For women who've been victims of sexual assault, there can be a million things to do. Investigations. Counseling. More investigating and more counseling. But there are places to turn for help. And there are places women can turn if they want to learn about the best ways to keep from becoming a victim themselves.

Comments

weluvbowling 5 years, 6 months ago

The article says "involving adults" and these are the ones that they know of. Think about the ones that involve children and the ones that go unreported (adult & children)! Holy Cow!!!

This is NOT the same Lawrence I grew up in!

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HighScore 5 years, 6 months ago

I am a little afraid to ask, but is there a way to see a more complete view of the map of lawrence that maps out where these sexual assults took place?

I did not see this map in the image gallery. The map viewed on the LJWorld home page did not show south of 31st Street.

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HighScore 5 years, 6 months ago

Nevermind, found it in the "not an uncommon cirme" gallery.

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nickk 5 years, 6 months ago

If women are going to voluntarily get drunk, lose control of themselves and then claim that a man they invited into their home has raped them, then there should be a law against women getting drunk in public. We need to protect the men from these irresponsible women.

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mwwkw 5 years, 6 months ago

I am not sure that putting additional burdens on women to control their behavior is necessarily the best answer. Seems like we ought to be teaching young men a little bit of control and maturity too. Growing up -- and still today, it seems -- rape is seen as a 'woman's problem' -- how women can defend themselves, what women should do if they are raped, etc. Rape is just as much a men's problem as a women's problem and men should be taught some self-control too.

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feeble 5 years, 6 months ago

Hey nickk, how about you do what all responsible, reasonable men do, and keep it in your pants.

From you post, it seems you might be more at home in Saudi Arabia or Yemen, perhaps you ought to consider relocating?

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jafs 5 years, 6 months ago

Nickk's piont is valid.

When young women (or anyone else, for that matter) drink too much, their judgment is impaired and they tend to make bad choices.

Blaming other folks for your own bad choices is irresponsible.

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kmat 5 years, 6 months ago

jaf and Nickk - it doesn't matter how drunk the woman is - NO MEANS NO!!!!!! You understand that? Rape would be the woman saying no and the man not caring that she said no.

Let me repeat - no matter what the woman is on or if you think she really wanted it - NO MEANS NO. If you're so concerned that a woman is going to turn around and claim rape, when she was really a willing partner, then maybe you need to hang around some different women. Sounds like your the one's with the problem.

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red 5 years, 6 months ago

Nickk-Are you serious? This is one of the most archaic, ridiculous, woman-blaming comments I have heard in a long time. Since when does one person's behavior give another the right to rape? Getting drunk in public=deserved to be raped? This makes me really sad. It sure helps me understand why our society is not further along in ending sexism.

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feeble 5 years, 6 months ago

Hey Jafs, speaking from experience? Did the sight of a woman's hair incite lust and drive you to violence?

Taking a girl to bed who is too drunk to stand also qualifies as making a "bad choice". After all, It takes two to tango.

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HermioneElliott 5 years, 6 months ago

I am thinking that the college girls feel safe with their peers. They probably drank with boys in high school and nothing happened. Unfortunately, there are boys/men that really believe that no means yes. Maybe we should start injecting men with an anti-Viagra. I don't see this being solved any time soon. In Latin cultures flirting is acceptable and not seen as leading a man on. White men have problems with Latina's because they do not get it that the clothes and friendliness do not translate as, I want you. Is this not the defense? She led me on and aroused me so now she has to satisfy me? No, she doesn't, deal with it like a man.

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ThatGirl2 5 years, 6 months ago

To the "men" (I am using this term very losely) who have posted on this thread implying when a woman has been drinking and ends up getting raped, she somehow deserved it: bad judgment is a two way street. If you take a woman home who is so intoxicated you can't trust what she's saying (either "yes" but you suspect she has no idea who you are or where she is, or "no" but you think she should put out anyway.....) perhaps you should check yourself. If the only women you can land are bombed out of their mind, well.....that says a lot huh? Bad judgment is also shown in putting yourself in this situation.

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HermioneElliott 5 years, 6 months ago

Rape is not always about people who are drunk. Sober, responsible women have been assaulted and raped. We are talking about every age group from five to ninety. We should not get caught up in the college girl got drunk and got what she was asking for syndrome. Men who are rape minded don't care about age, social position, or race. Let us not give the rapist a ready made defense. We need sympathy and compassion for the victim, be it woman or man, a strong support system to be there for them.

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ThatGirl2 5 years, 6 months ago

Original_Me (Anonymous) says…

“Blaming other folks for your own bad choices is irresponsible.” No kidding! Getting drunk is not an accident. It's strictly voluntary, controllable, preventable, & cannot be explained better than making a bad choice. If women are going to behave this way, then they need to realize they accept all the consequences that can come with it!

So I take it your position is that if I get drunk, you take me home, I say no, and you **** me anyway.....it was my fault because I should have been prepared for that consequence?

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ThatGirl2 5 years, 6 months ago

Boy, the trolls are out in full force today.....

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slang4d 5 years, 6 months ago

I've been to a lot of shows, bars, etc. and there is almost always one girl, blasted out of her mind, falling all over the place with no friends claiming her. It's both amusing and terrifying because I know there are some serious scumbags out there. Sure, women should be more responsible. We have to be because the world is not always a safe place for us. A man can walk alone at night without fear (generally) and a man can get drunk and the worst that happens to him is his friends draw naughty things on his face when he passes out. Blaming the women in these scenarios is bull though. Only a total d&%$bag takes advantage of a drunk woman. Not tipsy- kind of drunk (from personal experience, we can make fairly sound decisions when tipsy or slightly drunk), but the variety that is passing out and can barely stand up. I made so many bad decisions from 17-22 that it is a wonder I never wound up in one of these awful situations. How many of you can say the same? You were a perfect angel in college? How about we address the real problem here and put these slimeballs behind bars so they can't hurt anymore women?

"All this unfiltered talk all came from girls."

Since when is it wrong for people to be open and open-minded about sex? A woman who talks openly about and enjoys sex does not deserve to be raped. Women that talk openly about those things are also not always putting themselves in dangerous situations either.

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kmat 5 years, 6 months ago

“All this unfiltered talk all came from girls.”

It sounds like you spend a lot of time trying to listen to what young girls are talking about. Sounds like you have a problem.

To all the perv men - get lotion and some tissues. Then you'll have nothing to worry about.

Slang - many of us partied while in school. Many of us also didn't get so drunk that someone could have taken advantage of us. You need to know who you can really party with. I didn't party hard with people I didn't know well and that could have taken advantage of me. That's called having some street smarts and knowing your surroundings.

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ThatGirl2 5 years, 6 months ago

That's right ladies--you're either a slut or a dried up prune. Take your pick. (Because, clearly, Justfornow would know--he's obviously such a ladies man).

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kmat 5 years, 6 months ago

justfornow - it doesn't count when you're paying them to take advantage of you. The only charges that could have been filed were for your solicitation. And I'm sure you cried and whined when you realized you had to really dish out the cash to the hookers.

I think something of yours is dried up like a prune. Maybe that's why you're so bitter and have to pay for it.

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Jersey_Girl 5 years, 6 months ago

Men, I know this has never occured to you, but when confronted with an enebriated woman, you, too, can say no. Be a gentleman and say, "I'm sorry, but I think you've had a little too much to drink and I'd hate to take advantage of you. Why don't we get some coffee?"

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Jersey_Girl 5 years, 6 months ago

I can't imagine charges being filed, much less sticking in a situation like that.

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kmat 5 years, 6 months ago

That's not what's happening here myopinion. Mainly lots of date rapes in this town, where the idiot guys can't get NO through their heads and oftentimes are taking advantage of the fact the girl is drunk. A lot of guys get girls wasted because it's easier to nail them if they're so blasted they can barely function. A person posted this yesterday, which sums up why very few rape cases are prosecuted in this town. It's still seen as a woman's problem. Back when the guy slammed his car into a tree on Ousdahl and had the underage, drunk girls with him - one of their friends posted on here about how all these guys got underaged girls drunk because it was easier to take advantage of them and get laid. It seems to be accepted as being OK by so many sick, twisted guys.

"While I fully realize there are probably a good number of false reports of this nature, I am sure that the conviction rate would be much higher if the Lawrence/Douglas Co law enforcement and “detectives” would pull their collective head out… Last June, I was raped by an aquaintance of one of my family members. After going to the hospital to have a rape kit collected, I was kept at the LEC for eight and a half hours, the majority of which time I was left alone in an “intervew” room. The next day, the “detective” assigned to my case wanted to go out and see “if we can locate the scenes” (was a somewhat long ordeal… spanning about 3 hours, and a considerable area). I had already told him the road/intersection that was very near one of the areas, however he decided he knew better than I where this most likely happened. Never did get around to the area it happened in. Then, three days later, he told me- point blank, and in a deadpan- that he believed I had initated sex with the man who raped me, then said I was raped to “get out of it”. At that point, I gave up seeing him arrested. I have since found out through talking to others, that this man has been sexually abusing women for at least 10 years (I have talked to 8 people whom he has raped in the past, other than myself), and in every case, he has walked away from it. THIS is the reality of rape in Lawrence…."

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badger 5 years, 6 months ago

Gosh, myopinionmatters, maybe the reason the woman is 'always' more believable than the man is that it's historically a lot more likely that a rape charge is true than that it's made up, and rape is common enough that it's not a particularly far-fetched notion someone might have experienced one.

If two partners are intoxicated, I'm willing to call it a mistake on both parts. But a sober person who knowingly sleeps with a seriously inebriated one is a rapist regardless of their respective genders.

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Wendy magillicutty 5 years, 6 months ago

to follow some of the illogical premises here, a drunk man deserves to be raped just as much as a drunk woman, right? it is the act of being drunk that invites the crime, right? because you should be in more control of yourself, right? Or no, it's just drunk women that deserve it? what about mentally challenged women, should they be raped too because they are capable of poor choices? Or just old, how bout old? They make poor choices too. Oh, no it's just drunk women, right? You know rape isn't about sex, right? why else do 85 year old women get attacked? notice how the real crime is described as attack or assault-it's not sex you moron.

I'm gonna have to put this in caps so you all can read, and please read it slow ok? I DONT CARE IF I AM DRUNK AND NAKED IN THE STREET, I DO NOT NEED/DESERVE/OR AM ASKING TO BE RAPED. IT IS NO ONE ELSE'S FAULT BUT THE ONE WHO CHOOSES TO RAPE (WHICH IS AN ASSAULT OR AN ATTACK ON ANOTHER) thank you.

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Wendy magillicutty 5 years, 6 months ago

dammmmmit LJworld took out my capitalization. please read it all slow like ok?

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Ceallach 5 years, 6 months ago

kmat, sorry you had to go through that. Such experiences are far too common. Women need to support other women in these matters. Unfortunately, there's not a lot to make us think changes are coming or that society in general gives this problem more than a passing glance.

Some of the crude 'jokes' are made by people who have no idea that some woman they love has been a victim and just chose to keep quiet and hopefully avoid exposing herself to the ridicule, shame and blame that is often cast on rape victims.

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kmat 5 years, 6 months ago

To be clear, I was reposting what another person had posted on a related story this weekend. I was not raped, thank god. I stated it was another posters response, but I should have made that more clear, right before the post. The original post can be found if you click on the "A Not Uncommon Crime".

I wanted to repost it on this thread because of the comments I was seeing. So many assume that women make up rapes to cover up their bad choices because there aren't a lot of rape prosecutions. I wanted to show that the police don't make it easy to prosecute in many cases. I recently heard on NPR where many crime labs all over the country haven't even been sending rape kits off to be processed because of backlogs and the cost and how repeat rapists aren't being busted because of it.

I thank you for the kind words, but they need to be directed at the original poster.

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kmat 5 years, 6 months ago

And you are still a troll. :-) Ha ha

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HermioneElliott 5 years, 6 months ago

I don't drink alcohol and never have, but I did have a near experience. I was walking on sixth near the riverfront building when I noticed a man following me and acting strangely. I ducked into City Hall. He followed. I went into the womens bathroon and when I heard footsteps, stood behind the door instead on going into one of the stalls. He opened the door and came in, standing there with his pants unzipped, and hanging out. I pushed past him and ran into the lobby area screaming. The police came and found him and arrested him. Interesting note, one of the women who work at City Hall told the officer that I should have been arrested for causing a ruckus. Go figure! This happened in broad daylight about two in the afternoon, at City Hall. So, what does this do to the "common" concept of what rape is?

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hairshoptalk 5 years, 6 months ago

HermioneElliott, that is so scary!!! and how dare she say you caused a ruckus! How awful! what is wrong with people?!

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jafs 5 years, 6 months ago

Let me clarify:

No one "deserves" to be raped.

All rapes should be reported and prosecuted correctly.

However, if you want to reduce your chances of getting raped, don't drink to excess.

For example, some of the above posts about guys who "get girls drunk" seem odd to me. If you don't want to get drunk, don't drink to excess.

Nobody can "get you drunk" without your participation.

There are obviously a number of males who seem to feel that their best chance to have sex is to wait until a female is inebriated and then go for it.

Don't help them.

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jafs 5 years, 6 months ago

And, by the way, if the story were about men who got drunk and wandered around bad neighborhoods in the middle of the night and got mugged, I'd say the same things.

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Kat Christian 5 years, 6 months ago

Kids, Rape is not about SEX. It is about CONTROL. Apparently, men who rape have no control over their lives and feel powerless and the only way to make themselves feel better is to have power over another person, particularly a women. Men are sexual beings -- you know the ole saying, "men think with their ..." Well rape is their way of overpowering, degrading because it is the way they feel. It's really pathetic and sad because rapist are not using intellligence but primitive behavior. Can they be rehabilitated? I think a younger one may, but once a get a man gets past 35 I believe they are incapable of being rehabilitated and should be imprisoned but then again you can't imprison someone just because of their age. Rape seems to occur most often when the weather becomes warmer. Ladies always be aware of your surroundings. Never walk to your car at night alone, if so have your keys out look under your car, if it is parked by another you should go back inside and get an escort. It only takes a split second for someone to nab you. Keep your car locked when it is parked at all times. You'd be surprised what a rapist can squeeze into. Keep your room windows locked even if you live on second floor - if you must have it opened put pins in it where it cannot be pried open further. I'm sure you've heard most of this and I'm sure there are more safety tips - read them and pay attention. It's crazy we have to be so caucious but it's a fact of life in this age we live in. But better safe than sorry.

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Music_Girl 5 years, 6 months ago

No one "deserves" to be raped. Yes women should be more modest and exert some self control if they are drinking but so should men. "Justifying" rape is a societal problem as our society teaches us to just blame someone else and not take responsibility for our own actions. It's a two way street and neither men nor women should put themselves in situations where they have to worry about getting raped if possible.
Ladies you can look "hot" without wearing practically nothing and stuff that is so flimsy it's easy to rip off of you. Rapists prey on women who are wearing things that are easy to remove. Travel with groups and don't take home some random guy you met at a bar. Sure give him your number and go out with him tomorrow...when you're sober. Take a self defense class, buy some mace, make sure someone knows when you're supposed to be home and check in with that person when you make it. It is better to be safe then sorry. Guys if you are in doubt as to what she wants and what she says, back off till she can say for sure. Feel free to help protect her from other men, not victimize her yourself. I know that men are also raped and that statistics aren't accurate because men rarely report it but men need to protect themselves too. It is better to control yourself for one night then it is to be accused of rape and lose your job, your friends and have your name put on a list thus ending a lot of people's careers.

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slang4d 5 years, 6 months ago

"If your about to be raped tell the Guy/Girl that you have Aids or some other gift that will keep on giving."

Have heard letting loose with body fluids (throwing up, going to the restroom) works because it humanizes the victim. I imagine throwing up on cue would be difficult though. :/

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managialamiseria 5 years, 6 months ago

I signed up for the concealed carry class at the pawnshop on 23rd st (Lawrence Pawn), going on March 15th. I won't be a victim.

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managialamiseria 5 years, 6 months ago

Donnuts, arm yourself As I mentioned before, there is a concealed carry class on March 15th, see above.

With this license, you can carry a handgun concealed and and as Marion writes, be prepared and willing to use it if necessary.

This is BS. Men raping women. Not gonna happen to me.

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managialamiseria 5 years, 6 months ago

Aside from the fact that she's a lousy writer, she still doesn't deserve the abuse (I think that's what she was getting at).

Arm yourself.

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managialamiseria 5 years, 6 months ago

I apologize donnuts. No offense intended. The police, by their own admission, are not there to stop crimes from happening. They are there to clean up the mess and MAYBE catch the perp.

Take control. Arm yourself.

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EireishHawk 5 years, 6 months ago

D-nuts, Regarding 9th Street Baptist Church -- its congregation being primarily African-American does not mean it is a Southern Baptist Church -- it is not. It is also incredibly racist to separate out 9th Street and St. Luke's AME as possible drug connections!

Your world might get a lot better if you go back on your meds.

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EireishHawk 5 years, 6 months ago

How many times does Donnuts have to tell you that being armed (legally) is not an option?

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airlinepass06 5 years, 6 months ago

Rape is never ok. If you or someone you know in the Lawrence area needs help, contact the Gadugi Safecenter, Rape Victim-Survivor Service, or the KU Women's Resource Center for students, staff and faculty.

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jafs 5 years, 6 months ago

Those are good suggestions, airline.

I am a bit concerned about the comments in the article by the representative from GaDuGi though - ie. "these things just happen".

Much of the time they can be prevented/avoided by being more careful.

Prevention is always better than dealing with this stuff after the fact.

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audiobattlegirl 5 years, 6 months ago

ok to all you women out there you do need to protect yourself and be aware of your surroundings, but some "rapes" are girls saying this happened to get back at a male or because they don't want to get into trouble with the parents. I've seen it happen and it's wrong. I also think that the age for girls to consint should be lowered because they are being taught at an earlier age what happens when you have sex and the are aware of the consequinces. I believe they should have stipulations on the rape cases instead of all the "rapist" shouldn't be all grouped into one catergory. It should be like murders they have different levels so should rape cases. And what about the men that get accused of this when at the time it was concensual? They still get charged and the females get nothing. Also in some cases where are the parents? There are alot of different cases so you can't just judge everyone by a title.

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pace 4 years, 9 months ago

Shooting them slows them down. Practice with your weapon, get a permit. Never draw without being prepared and ready to fire. I prefer a large gun, a 45. but a 38 is very effective. The person responsible for the crime is the criminal. One should take precautions but no, the dance of living does not make it ok for someone to grab you. Shoot them.

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