March 16, 2014 |
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Parents need to start acting like parents and teach their children. Bullying has been around ever since kids started going to PUBLIC SCHOOLS. SOME parents have become very lazy in their responsibilties.
ah yes the answer to all issues, demand yet more legislation.
This went to the wrong place, but parents do need to take responsbility of their kids behavior. Most parents just give into their kids to make it easy on themselves. I see so many kids that control their parents, I just want to scream at them and say...who is the adult, the parent? Its one thing to correct your kid and its another to talk to them to understand what they have done then give them the consequence and if it doesn't work the first time you do it again until they do get it. Another thing is good communication with your child and if they are being bullied the parent needs to confront the school immediately and demand it be resolved that day.
I don't think there needs to be a state wide mandate. I think it should be left up to the individual district to decide if there is a need for an anti-bullying policy and write one accordingly.
I fail to see why the state should get involved with something that is essentially a district concern.
Its because they have the opportunity to do that now and they don't.
I might agree with your first sentence which is what the poll is asking. There is already law on the books requiring every school district to have a policy in place:
The 2008 Legislature amended the anti-bullying statute and effective July 1, 2008, requires school districts to:
1) adopt and implement a plan to address cyberbullying, and
2) adopt policies prohibiting bullying on school property, in school vehicles, or at school-sponsored activities, and
3) adopt and implement a plan to address bullying, which must include provisions for training and education of staff and students.
4) upon request of a school district, the state board shall assist in the development of a grade appropriate curriculum for character development programs.
Or successful republican politicians.
I was bullied at school, very Tom Browns until my father showed me how to defend myself.
Later on in life my step son was bullied the school would do nothing. So one day I said enough and called the principle. No one gets to talk to the principle had to go through his secretary. I only got through when I said that unless I spoke to him the Police would be arriving.
Spoke to the pompous s... who said it was not a problem and the other boy involved came from a good family (lots of money) I said look its easy. Easy way you have the bully in tell him if it happens again he is out of the school or hard way I will have the bully on an assault charge and site you (the principle) as being an adult aiding the assault. He hung up on me. BUT
Principle had the bully and his parents in and no more bullying. I guess the principle was afraid of the publicity.
As far as getting parents to shape up their kids, unfortunately lots of bullies get their behavior from their parents. That's where they learn about pushing around weaker individuals. That's why we need a policy is to overcome bad parenting.
That is what I keep saying......Mandatory parent classes in last two years of high school and first year of college.
what are you doing asking such a stupid and dumb question! Now sit down or I will beat the living spit out of you, you little punk! Now we must take your lunch money for jamming us up
I can remember very little good about my high school days. It was accepted practice for the upper classmen to constantly bully you when ever they wanted. We had 3-4 individuals who made it their mission to make life very tough on lower classmen. A good deal of this went on in PE and sports related classes. The teachers not only knew it but condoned and encourged it. Part of acquiring manhood I suppose. Some of our teachers during that era were either WWII or Korean War Veterans. May be they were trying to make marines of us early. This type of treatment were you have to time and choose when you do things like going to the restroom or being caught in certain hallways creates a total melt down for the victim regarding all other aspects of school, especially the learning process. You are reduced to hating yourself and everyone around you. You can trust no one and you try everthing you can to become as small and un-noticed as you can to elude detection. Bullying has been around for ever, and in some places it is mistaken and is known as leadership, assertiveness, etc.
Any teacher or principle who knows this is going and chooses to ignore it should be fired and or jailed just like the bullies. These people have no idea of all the ways I was planning to get even with them. My thoughts, I was ashamed of, and never acted on. However for some rather than get even or do harm they just check themselves out of life. What a total loss and waste of energy and time. The only justice in this matter is that bullies eventually run into some one or some thing (legal system) that is bigger and badder than they are. Only after a long trail of grief and tears though.
These people need to be dealt with in harsh terms. Their parents need to be dealt with in harsh terms as well. This stuff must be minimized in our schools. Thats not what they are there for. If you must kick some butt join the military, police force, sports, etc.
There are plenty of like minded people their for you to interact with.
The person that works at a school is a princiPAL, not a principle. Sorry, something I learned in grade school and it was annoying me.
Now, on to my thoughts on this. I don't think the state needs a plan. What we need is the schools to have a plan that works and that they follow. There is a plan in place at the Lawrence schools. I don't feel it's doing much.
i remember a bully when i was in the army in 1970 he was from chicago..the bully always thought our drill sgt wasnt so tough and that he, the bully could take him.
Well one day after a bout of insubordination from Mr Chicago, Cefilli called him out while we were in formation...Sgt Cefilli then took off his DI hat and removed his starched fatigue shirt. Sgt. C told him to bring his bayonet with him. Well this made the bully real excited & he
was boasting how he was going to cut up the Sgt. We were instructed to form a closed circle around them. The Sgt instructed him to come at him Mr. Chicago came at him and then the Sgt. parried to the left hit him once in the right below his rib cage removed the knife from his hands and Mr. Chicago went down. The Sgt., put on his starched fatique shirt and asked us if there were any questions...and the MP's were called and Mr Chicago went to the stockade for 30 days...the he was recycled to the next Basic Combat Unit I am sure his tour of duty there was really fun..especially after the word got around to the other cadre'
I personally have wiped the floor up with a few of these bullies after i returned home, now matter how big they are they make a big sound when they hit the ground. Those of us that were there were glad Sgt. Cefilli was are instructor because we were headed the SE Asia war games for a year.
I LOVE BULLIES...
they make a sweet sound when they hit the ground. OBTW u dont have to kill someone to make your point. Just be smarter than they are..or take some martial arts classes.
ya'll have a good day
What if Brock Lesnar was a bully. Would all you tough guys stand up to him?
What if Kelly LeBrock was a bully, would you stand up to her?
What would you little maniacs like to do first?
So, a law? Let's see, a law against a vaguely defined form of abuse. That sounds great, I'm sure it won't have unintended negative consequences at all.
So you were unable to teach your kids courtesy and not to bully smaller kids. If you see courtesy and abusive behavior as vaguely defined, then of course you weren't able to parent well. You might consider having someone help you, a pastor or someone who can communicate with you and your children, clearly.
Do you believe that everything that isn't courtesy is bullying?
Do I believe everything that isn't courtesy is bullying? Why no, that would make so little sense, Using your logic since ice cream or math isn't courtesy then you would see ice cream and math as bullying. I do believe if someone is being courteous it is unlikely to be bullying. I do think that bullying is not courteous. Good manners is not an unattainable goal. You claim one could not differentiate between courtesy and bullying. Most people can, so you might really need some outside help. Many people have different thoughts on what to do about bullying but few say there is no difference between courtesy and bullying.
I do think courtesy should not only be taught in schools and in homes and it should be a required standard. Doesn't mean people should be automatically expelled from school of kicked out on the street at home but courtesy should be taught and required, Bullying should not be ignored or tolerated as an ok behavior.
We don't need anymore government control we've got too much of that now.
Think it's a silly idea for the state to have a bullying law on the books, but the schools certainly should have one and see that it's administered.
Best comment I've seen yet is the man who threatened assault charges on behalf of his child.
Is bullying historical? Yes. Along with walking two miles to school in three feet of snow up hill...both ways. Most people who claim to have been bullied have no idea what real bullying is.
I was bullied in school at a time when teachers simply ignored it and did nothing. One time, in full view of a teacher, I had my books knocked out of my arms in the hallway. When I bent over to pick them up the offender quite literally planted her foot in my butt and sent me sprawling face first onto the floor. My chin came to rest inches from the teacher's shoes.
In another incident, I was on the bus on the way home from school when two girls behind me began spitting on me. By the time I got home from school one half of my head was entirely soaked and my hair was dripping from their saliva. Both of these incidents were in Jr. High.
In high school I was sexually assaulted by a male upper classman who attempted to pull my shirt off. He was feeling my breasts as he did so and laughing about it . This occurred in front of at least a dozen people and no one stopped it. This was in school and only a sample. None of this was verbal threats or intimidation. This was assault, plain and simple.
All of this happened at a time in my adolescence when almost all children desperately want to be accepted and part of the "herd". Did it leave scars? You bet it did! And this is over forty years after the fact.
I not only want a state wide policy, I want it enforced! My own children are grown but I have grandchildren in this system. If anything happened to them like what happened to me it would break my heart.
Another one who thinks it's all the victim's fault; even a child.
let the principal beat the kids with a board like they used to do.ohhhh wait isn't that why they fired mangino for making it to 3 bowl games for having discipline ? ohh no bad boy do what you want no one can touch you.even da bronson says you can do what you want and get away with it.come on all you cry babies get a life if the kid does wrong spank his butt.if he does good take him for ice cream.
make them smell the glove!!!
Yeah, nothing builds character like getting joy out of pummeling some kid who happens to be smaller, smarter, and more sensitive than you. I'm sure that's what made you fine, upstanding person you are.
Yes, I think there should be a policy. Unfortunately some parents don't t do a good job teaching their kids to be civilized. If they can't get a handle on it then there should be legal means available to those being tormented.
More important than policy, is strategies and education. I had a handicap and while most of my school years were great, I had a teacher for 2 years (third and fourth grade) that encouraged "normal" kids to pick on any that were different, I spoke funny, one boy was fat, one girl was black, etc,. With his leadership, life became hell for about 5 kids. I confronted him and he explained that kid's teasing helped people who weren't adjusting to become normal. The next day when some kids literally formed a circle around two of us. I became extremely violent. So we all ended up in the principle's office. Luckily when the teacher explained his plan to normalize us, he was not greeted with support and understanding. The principal was great and our school yard got back to a more normal dynamic. Thank God for Mr. Woods, My mom still insisted that if everyone had just ignored it, it would have gone away. My dad thought if I was going to attack a gang I should of won. Bless their hearts, but teachers and policy can make a difference. Kids and teachers should be held responsible for their acts. To pass bullying off as normal behavior is not accurate. It is normal for people to steal, to attack, to lie, to bully, but those behaviors should not be treated as ok behaviors. You don't have to like someone to be courteous. Courtesy is a good behavior, bullying and abuse is bad behavior. Reward courtesy and don't ignore abusive behavior. Even teachers and adults should be educated and told that bullying is not acceptable play. In no way is it good for either child.
Make the insecure bully types the responsibility of the parents.
Boot them from school, mandate virtual school plus no participation in school sports. No exceptions cuz we know bully types cover the entire economic spectrum...
We need for Washington and Topeka to stay the heck out of the petty stuff and tackle larger issues such as unemployment and health care. My employer is a bully but I'm not going to seek legislative action for that, I'll take care of it in-house.
I think there is a rash of "Bully" type Employers here in Kansas. I've worked for 35 years and only the last 12 have I worked in Kansas and have been subjected to more Bully Bosses then ever. I've resigned that the next boss that bullies me I will remind them that I am not their "indentured servent", but their employer and (if relates) my pay does not come from their pocket but their employer. All I can say it is their damaged ego and low self-esteem that makes them that way. Pitiful.
let me talk about bullying.... five grade schools in two states, two high schools in Kansas.
The bullying in Manhattan led to a suicide attempt and hospitalization at twelve years
of age. The bullying in McLouth was overcome by utilizing school participation to have
some empathy from that school staff. I had a gym coach who left the locker room
and me to my own device against bullies. I ended up walking throughout the school
building without a pass to the principal's office where I set unnoticed for ten minutes
until the period ended and went on to my next class. One of the bullies passed away
two years ago. My spouse was bullied and my sibling was bullied at McLouth.
Our father threatened to patrol the hallways of the school for my sibling because
those administrators did NOTHING. My spouse told me that when she was young
there was an African American student who attended McLouth in the early 1980's
and lived east of town on K-16 a couple of miles out and the bus wouldn't
pick this kid up and he got frostbite on his ears walking to school on the highway.
His name was Richard Stacker. Putting faces and names to this behavior
makes it real. My late mother taught there and another kid was bullied into
hanging himself in the late 1990's'. There needs to be state and federal
intervention. How many more stories like mine and the ones written
here have to be told? School shootings have happened because
of bullying in the past fifteen years. I'm sorry but I can tell you
firsthand that the local state's rights approach here doesn't
work. Extreme and prolonged bullying is a violation of
the equal protection part of the 14th amendment.
If you don't think so, remember the Theno case
against the Tonganoxie school district a few years
ago. You'd think settling for a couple hundred thousand
dollars would be a wakeup call to other lazy yet cost
conscious districts. Create a safe learning environment
or be successfully sued in court.
One thing I taught my kid is to speak out for himself, stand up to bullys, not get drawn into their small little minds, but talk them into confusion just enough so you can walk away. Then tell me about it. I have a big mouth and I'll get heard one way or another, even if I have to go to the parent myself.
You can, however, legislate behavior. I don't see where you get this as coming from Liberals. Conservatives are the ones who have problems with people who are different from them, who deride diversity and tolerance, who set up gay kids for bullying by teaching their own kids that there is something wrong with homosexuality. As for using "timeouts" or other non-violent punishment, I suppose you are one of those people who think corporal punishment somehow teaches kids that violence is inappropriate.
"You can not legislate morality."
Then why is it against every civil society's laws to commit murder?
I have a kiddo in the Lawrence school system that has been a target of bullying from time to time. After explaining that bullies are just terribly insecure kids that likely have emotional problems, my child's strategy was to simply ignore it. Bullies are looking for a reaction; that's the payoff. When they can't cash in, they tend to move on. When that strategy didn't work, my kiddo had no problem with talking to the teachers, guidance counselors, principals, and, always, me about the situation. I have yet to find an administration that didn't respond immediately to concerns.
It's heartbreaking to think of the kids who haven't had a similar experience. Lord knows it's hard enough to make the wayward journey to adulthood. I will say, in all issues (be it bullying or academic concerns), though, I've found consistent communication with my child's teachers, guidance counselors, and principals to be invaluable.
That being said, I have to selfishly pass along credit to the administrations and teachers at Pinckney (Lesa Frantz), WJHS (Myron Melton), and LHS (Matt Brungardt) for their efforts in making my kiddo's education experience a positive one.
I am sorry you have let bullying be a regular part of your life. You consider bullying something only liberals can fight or stand up against. That is a myth. Many things are part of life, dirt, crime, stupidity, but one should not just quit. Part of life is also trying, giving it a go. Don't palin it,
Sounds to me like you were/are the bully, not the bullied. No one wants their power taken away.
Well no wonder you think there was nothing you thought would work. Singing kumbaya is not how to stop bullying. I am glad things have changed, just a post ago you said there was nothing one could do about bullying, now suddenly you are talking about standing up to them. It is great to see someone change their tune. Now don't Palin, keep trying.
Yes there does need to be a statewide mandate on Bullying, If there had been 35 years ago, I could of been spared a lot of grief and anger, due to being a daily victim of bullying. The ignore it and it will go away stuff does not apply here, Sorry especially when you go to small town school (McLouth Ks) from the time you are 5 until you graduate High School. You are nothing like the most of the kids you are forced to grow up with. You get bullied day in and day out, that you want to give up school in the 3rd Grade, You wish you could be somewhere else, and you would give anything to be able to go to another school. You put up with people teasing you daily, tripping you in the hall ways, threatening to gang rape you if you show up at the local Festival Grounds, And luckily someone lets you know about it before hand and you are spared all of that horible pain, You finally decide that you can not take it anymore and think about violence to those who harm you, on a daily basis,more than once. You finally break and let the school know that if you do not get a chance to go somewhere else to school. That you will walk from school and never look back, You finally get the chance to move on to another school. And once you do you are some what overwhelmed of all the new people and how they come up to you wanting to know about you. It was the best years of my life at that point, although it was at that time way too late to boost my self esteem to where it should be at this point. I did not go to my prom either year. I did not go to parties in my school. I went to all of these events in my new school. For the first time I felt complete, And yes I hear that they do this because they like you, which is the biggest lie, I could ever hear. They did it because they were jealous of me, I did not look like them,act like them,dress like them. I was not them., SO DO NOT DO THE WRONG THING AND IGNORE THIS! FIGHT IT!
You sounds truly terrible. I noted that at no point did you mention your parents. Not to be argumentative, but where your parents were during all this suffering? I'd have to be blind not to see my child in that kind of agony.
And, to anyone who might know the answer, how would legislation benefit circumstances like this? Does the child file a complaint? To whom? What would the process be? Are criminal charges filed? Against whom? I haven't seen any draft legislation on the issue, so I'm curious what was being proposed.
I am struggling to envision how the parents, counselors, teachers, school administration, school district, and an entire community wouldn't have been able to intervene at some point. Perhaps I'm naive, but I can't see something like that happening as anything less than a succession of multiple failures. And, I'm sorry, but what parent wouldn't ardently follow the issue through to resolution? There's something I'm sure I'm missing here.
*THAT sounds truly terrible. (Sorry for the typo.)
Some people are saying that victims, parents, teachers, school boards, the community should ignore bullying because it is natural,. that makes no sense to me.
I think rules and strategies to curb bullying should be put in place. Of the two choices doing nothing makes no sense.
There are many places with policies and rules against bullying, simple search would .give examples. I think a community or state should draft their own to fit their needs.
But what isn't the state legislation Valkyrie cited (http://www.ksde.org/Default.aspx?tabid=3899) doing that a statewide anti-bullying policy would do?
Is there something specific lacking? And, if so, why couldn't the current legislation simply be modified?
I'm not trying to be argumentative. I just don't understand where the current system is failing.
@justsomewench - You seem to be the only one commenting here who understands that there is already a law on the books requiring school districts have an anti-bullying policy in place.
The title of this poll is misleading at best. An article was posted the day AFTER this poll which would have made things much clearer. Here is an excerpt:
"In approving the measures, the board rejected the idea of requiring that school districts implement a specific anti-bullying program or curriculum that would be used statewide.
Currently, school districts must have an anti-bullying program but can pick from a variety of such programs.
Most members of the Education Board said it was better to allow school districts to pick a program that fit their needs."
School districts are working hard through character education, teaching students how to report bullying and in-depth staff training. The current system is not failing.
I didn't realize commenting on stories had become something akin to dancing around land mines.
I think I'm in the wrong place if I'm looking for a civil discussion about any given issue. That's very sad.
I agree. The only consolation is that hopefully, the ones planting the "mines" are not representative of the majority.
My solution actually said that, must of been in a different universe. I don't agree that criminal charges or expulsion should be the instant fix for every bullying incident. I think it is ridiculous when two 8 year olds get in a tussle, they get charged with assault. I find zero tolerance cause some ridiculous solutions. If you quit claiming every liberal thinks this or that rather than discuss the issue you wouldn't end up with so many bad guesses. Why do I bother have a discussion with someone who is claiming I suggested singing camp songs or tossing children into jail? It is because I don't think all republicans are butt scratching, no thinking, clods. We all have children and when one of them comes home with a problem, we go to the school to work out a solution and sometimes get met with , our policy is we ignore it, nothing we can do. we have no responsibilities, not in our job description. Bullying isn't just name calling in dodge ball, sometimes it is gangs of older kids stalking littler kids, it is daily abuse, it has a variety of forms, not all fixable by the kid.
"We all have children and when one of them comes home with a problem, we go to the school to work out a solution and sometimes get met with , our policy is we ignore it, nothing we can do. we have no responsibilities, not in our job description."
Has that been your experience since 2008? Again, I'm trying to better understand where the system is failing. I, too, would be upset if someone told me to the things you mentioned.
whirls answer -Nothing was ever solved by adults and they made everything worse. Parents and schools don't care.
There are many places with policies and rules against bullying, Some would work here, some would help. It should be school policy to address bullies, not just ignore the behavior. One of my suggestions is for schools and parent to teach and require courtesy. It is one of many stratagems to combat bullying. Courtesy should be taught and a required standard in schools. That doesn't mean teaching courtesy would prevent bullying but it guides a person to how they should act. Manners use to be part of school, it should be again. We don't have to allow our schools to become Jerry Springer stages.
Okay, we're getting closer. So, you're proposing legislation be written to require parents and schools teach courtesy? I'm not sure how that would be written. I seem to recall programs in place for children with behavioral issues. In fact, the Lawrence district has a behavior modification classroom to teach particularly disruptive children how to meet behavioral expectations in the classroom. There are also guidance counselors, social workers, WRAP workers, and all are more than happy and usually require consistent communication with the parents. The non-academic resources schools provide are quite extensive for children in need. Do some children fall through the cracks? You bechum. Do others benefit greatly from the programs in place and mutual cooperation? Absolutely.
I wish I understood better what you're arguing is not working. I am positive the district has measures in place for you to report any administrative apathy you feel you're encountering. No?
MMM, You are saying there is no bullying problems and sorry we can't do anything in case there is and all the solutions are in place and working except in some cases and legislation and policy aren't needed and wouldn't help. You think every thing is fine. You happily supply me with leave to report any administrative apathy I might encounter. That is the problem I am concerned with. That darn administrative apathy. GOd yes. lets attack administrative apathy. You got it man, you got it. Lets pray on it together.
i am sorry you read my remarks about courtesy as me demanding special legislation on courtesy to be written and curriculumed as a course. I do give up this discussion since over half my time is spent explaining I do not advocate singing kumbala, or jailing kids, nor ever said courtesy is the one and only solution to the problems of bullying in schools. I did say that being courteous wasn't bullying, in a response to someone asked me if everything that wasn't courtesy was bullying. I am tempted to just palin this,, give up. If you are ok then I am ok with the jerry springer classroom agenda you are saying is ok man. Well maybe on consideration, I will fight school bullying . I think it leads to some children spending their child hood in hell, hurt, damaged. It is not good behavior and it hurts the bullied, the bully and the school environment. To me child bullying can be a form of child abuse, and I don't care if it is children abusing other children, teachers ignoring it or enabling it, , or parents. The best you can say is don't worry about it , it isn't a problem. It actually is a problem and one that should be addressed by a variety of strategies. including education, policy and rule.
Are you blending others' responses with mine? I never said "don't worry about it , it isn't a problem". I said that any problems I have encountered have been dealt with handily under the current policy.
Not everyone is trying to pick a fight with you, sir. I certainly wasn't. It's not in my nature. Neither did I mention politics. I was simply asking you what you were proposing and when you'd had problems. Sorry if that was confusing.
Have a great day.
What you don't seem to be able to understand, pace, is that bullying is certainly NOT being ignored. It IS being addressed through a variety of strategies in every school district as mandated by law.
I am sorry so many think I was advocating new legislation, I was supporting the legislation in place and encouraging policy be developed and enforced in schools. I assumed the people were aware of the legislation which was linked to earlier in the comments. I should of just referred to that when someone suggested I was trying to get courtesy passed as a legislative action. That threw me.
Again - policy IS in place in the 300 school districts in Kansas and it IS enforced.
You are waiting for someone who proposed ? How long ago did he propose? If he hasn't made a commitment to the day in over 7 years, quit waiting, get on with your life.
I'm not sure I have ever been a victim of bullying in it's true sense. In my youth, there were a number of times when the situation mandated that I stand up for myself, however. It was those times that defined me, built my character and my self esteem, making me an unlikely target for bullying, and at the same time made it unlikely that I would be a perpetrator of bullying. The problem we have today is that we have made it a criminal act for an 8th grader to stand up for themselves! How are children supposed to learn how to respect themselves if they face expulsion or worse for asserting themselves and not allowing themselves to be bullied? I understand that nowadays we have Columbine style mass murder, metal detectors in schools, unreasonable retaliation, etc. But all that tells me is that we started sissyfying our children long before it got as bad as it is now.
So it's all the victim's fault. Let's blame the victim for being a victim. I see.
My mom would look the other way, and my dad worked night and day. If he knew what was going on, He would of been up at that school every chance he had. They were hardly ever around, My sister and I had baby sitters until we got into the 6th grade, and they I would be able to come home and watch her, She was 6 years younger, and never had any of this happen to her when she went to school.
Well, if it's any consolation, there are programs in place now to deal with those issues. I'm glad you found a better place.
Bully tried to pick a fight wtih me - a couple of quick jabs to the nose took care of it. Didn't have to hit hard - didn't have the muscle back then, but it did the trick. Puss still had had the nerve to claim he won the fight but his black eyes told the story. Nanny asked me about it the next day - the only time he seemed impressed. (Some of you will get this.....)
Bottom line - stand up to the blowhards. Parents, step in when it gets too intense. No need for another law - gob-ment is not your nanny (pun intened). Personal resonsibility is the real deal. Try it on for size.
Odd, post cut off - Nanny asked me about the fight - y'all know who Nanny is....right? Back in the day...... One of the few times he showed some interest during gym class.
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