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Should women be able to breast-feed anywhere they have the right to be?

Asked at Massachusetts Street on February 3, 2006

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Photo of Holly Wight

“Yes. It’s an essential part of being a woman, and not being able to breast-feed where they need to is taking away a right that is exclusive to women, which is sexist.”

Photo of Joshua Jacobs

“I don’t think so. It’s an issue of public decency. It probably would make a lot of people uncomfortable. They should do it in private or prepare a bottle to bring with them.”

Photo of Kimberly Slaughter

“That’s kind of tricky. In public, yes, they should, but it should definitely be discreet. I have a baby, so I understand, but some people get offended and don’t want to see it.”

Photo of Ryan Berg

“In the case of a business, I think it should be within their right to decide if they want to let them or not.”

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Jayhawk226 12 years, 4 months ago

Would it be harassment if I choose to stare then? Would I be committing an illegal act by innocently sitting on a bench and just watching?

Serious question....just wondering.

killjoy 12 years, 4 months ago

urinating is natural too, but I don't want to watch others do it (I'm not French) Cover it up or go somewhere out of public view and definitely not a restaurant.

massst 12 years, 4 months ago

I dont think its a big issue.KILLJOY--We were not talking about men its about women.. got it??

bankboy119 12 years, 4 months ago

Holly said, "...taking away a right that is exclusive to women, which is sexist. "

If she meant that it's only okay for women to expose themselves and not men then she's right, that is sexist.

neopolss 12 years, 4 months ago

Many states (and by that I mean California) already have laws that allow this. To think that feeding your child is "indecent" is ludicrous. Any mother knows that a hungry child will make a MUCH larger scene that a breastfeeding mother. I would support allowing a mother to breastfeed in public areas, and allow the private businesses to use whatever policy they decide for themselves. I would think that a restaraunt would allow it. Afterall, everyone else is eating!

Bowhunter says it is common sense. So please show me to the breastfeeding room. Most mothers would prefer not to feed a child in the same place a person craps.

Anyone watch those home video shows? There was one of a guy staring a little too much, and the nursing mother gave him a quick squirt. Too funny!

YourItalianPrincess 12 years, 4 months ago

If a woman decides to breast feed in public then I believe she should at least cover herself up. I have seen alot of women use blankets to cover themselves up while feeding their babies.

I didn't breast feed my boys ( I tried ) , but can understand why some people feel its wrong in public. If a woman can cover herself then who really cares, shes feeding her child.

I'm not going to go anywhere with the urinating issue in public. To me thats just pure laziness unless you are out in the woods somewhere on a hike and there are not any restrooms anywhere.

Its Friday everyone.........have a great day and a wonderful weekend.

teach1reach1 12 years, 4 months ago

I usually hid in the car if I had to nurse a baby. I am a very shy person. However, I have been out to lunch with friends who nursed and only once did someone notice. They were very comfortable and skilled at nursing in public. The funny part you ask? The girl who was complaining at the table across the aisle was wearing a top that showed way more cleavage than the nursing mother whose infant was under a sling and covered by a nursing top. Perhaps restaurants are a little miffed that they can't charge for the breast milk, the "can't bring in any outside food or drink" mentality. I figure if they are a family oriented restaurant they shouldn't be allowed to ban nursing. Or, at least provide a little clean area off the ladies room for that purpose. As for our survey victims above, personally, I'd like to see that sophmore later in life, especially if he marries or has kids, and ask him again what he thinks of nursing in public. It's amazing how much views change once you're a parent.

RonBurgandy 12 years, 4 months ago

Sure, why not.

Just try and be discreet about it ladies.

Thanks, RonBurgandy.

craigers 12 years, 4 months ago

It is a very natural thing and I don't think it should be outlawed or anything like that in public, but I do think the mother should be discreet and cover up. I know they are just breasts, but as a husband I think I would have to pop the perv that keeps staring at my wife if she was breastfeeding. Cover it up and you can do it in public. I remember one lady at Target didn't cover up or anything and just plopped right down in the book section on the floor and started breastfeeding and reading a book. This action is almost like an invitiation for attention and that I don't agree with. That is just my opinion.

betti81 12 years, 4 months ago

My opinion on this is not important, but i was effected by an event like this once. I was a server at a bar and grill in lawrence throughout college. There was a woman who came in on a somewhat regular basis during those years. Now, when her son was a BABY she would breast feed him right there, semi covered up. Slightly distracting, but not really that big o' deal. the kid's got to eat. but as the years went by and the kid got older it became a bit more disturbing (thankfully they visited less and less). The last time i saw them at my job, the kid had to be getting close to 2 or 2 and 1/2 even, and he was asleep with his mother's breast in his mouth. There was no attempt to cover up and she sat like that for at least an hour. I found it quite rude actually. Other customers were uneasy about it. The kid was obviously done eating and could easily have been "removed" and the mother dressed again. I don't really know how I feel about how long to breastfeed a child or all that jazz because I don't know enough about it. But I do think covering up is not too much to ask. I personally believe that I will. Yes it is natural and beautiful, but is that really an experience you would want to share with a bunch of strangers?

beatrice 12 years, 4 months ago

Has anyone noticed that the people against this are doing so because it makes them "uncomfortable" to be around an exposed breast? Too bad - I'm not on this planet to make you comfortable. What if I'm uncomfortable when a heavy man runs around with his shirt off -- should there be laws to tell him to be more discreet and cover up? Sorry, but if a man's nipples can be exposed in public, a woman should be able to feed a child at least.

Plus, if you are having to "stare" at a working boob with a child attached to get your jollies, then you are a pervert of the first order.

Grundoon Luna 12 years, 4 months ago

Elvis H. Presley!!! It's a mom feeding her child. There is nothing sexual about it so GET OVER IT AND YOURSELF. I swear, you people sexualizing the act of feeding a child ought to get your perverted minds out of the gutter. Sheesh!!

cutny 12 years, 4 months ago

Yes, they should. Get over it freaks. You want people passing judgement on YOUR mother. Thought not.

craigers 12 years, 4 months ago

beatrice I agree with you about the pervs that get off with this and the fact is I am uncomfortable when a heavy man takes his shirt off too. That gives me the heebee jeebees.

irnmadn88 12 years, 4 months ago

What is annoying here is the underlying suggestion of taboo. The moral majority wants to suppress anything overtly construed as sexual whereas the major media and its advertisers profit from the subliminal connection of breasts (and cleavage) to their products.

To reinforce the understanding that a womans breast be used for its intended biological purpose would not pad the bottom line if the breast were no longer sexy.

Placing greater value on breasts other than mammary glands leaves us all to oggling them.

RonBurgandy 12 years, 4 months ago


Thanks, RonBurgandy.

RonBurgandy 12 years, 4 months ago

No, I haven't chosen to make an issue of anything. The ljworld has done that for me. I prefer to sit back and let others decide where I should go and what I should think.

beatrice 12 years, 4 months ago


trinity 12 years, 4 months ago

breast feeding in public? fine and wonderful as long as it's done with at least a little modesty. moms who just flop it out&don't cover herself and/or baby-well that speaks volumes of their character anyway.

true personal story; when my youngest (who is near 19) was a wee one, the first outing hub&i took her on was to a movie; she had to be only a couple weeks old. theatre dark, she began to fuss; sooo, over the shoulder with the blankie, open the lil' access port of the nursing blouse, baby happily eating away. of course there's a little noise associated from baby; soft slurpy noises, especially as tiny as she was at the time. somebody a few rows behind made several pointed comments (rude ones) about how disGUSTing my feeding this child was! and yep, it was in dear ol' lawrence this happened; and the movie? had just premiered-"fatal attraction". oh i get it, pay $ to see a movie about adultery, had fairly explicit sex scenes, not to mention physical violence; but it was DISGUSTING to nurse my young'un. hah. i admire the hubris it took to b!itch about something as blessed as nursing, when you're viewing a pretty darn immodest movie eh? ;)

Ember 12 years, 4 months ago

It's a women's rights concept, so most men really don't care if the infringement is imposed on the female, as long as their male selves are not hindered.

Is it the fact that the woman is nursing her child, or the fact that you cannot move past the fact that when your hormones first took a larger portion of your self control away, breasts were 'second base'.

Not sure if they were first or second, but then again, sex has never been a driving goal in my life.

I know what it is. They simply don't want anything obstructing their view, since the breast is bare and everything. Willing to bet that if women were allowed to walk around topless, like men are, most men would not complain in the least.

Richard Heckler 12 years, 4 months ago

Joshua Jacobs is living on another planet. Breast feeding is as natural as the weather folks. Monkey's, apes, chimpanzees and gorrillas do it in public so what are zoo's to do? Looks like sex education is necessary.

Is there something obscene about breasts? If so please explain. Men are allowed to go topless but women are not and that's utterly ridiculous. Sexist or what?

Breast feeding should be allowed anywhere anytime. Formula is nowhere near as healthy as breast milk. Breasts are for feeding obviously or the milk would not be there. Breast milk was around long before that money maker formula was on the planet. Our children were breast fed for quite some time and were rarely under the weather. When babies are hungry or in pain it best to feed them now. They cry less,smile more and sleep easier.

Not so long when reading about cancer it was disclosed that breast milk provides the nine essential sugars that are able to fight off cancer cells that keep entering our body. Formula does not get there. Apparently our bodies have a hard time generating those nine essential sugars however breast feeding moms can do it.

We've had this discussion before what's up?

badger 12 years, 4 months ago

When the munchkin is hungry, it's hungry.

He doesn't care that you're on a bus or in the grocery store. So feed him.

As for the 'take it to the restroom' advocates, you know that it can take ten or fifteen minutes sometimes if the kid is really hungry, or if it feeds, stops, feeds, stops, and so on? So a woman should walk away from the table for that time? What if she's having lunch with toddler and baby while Dad's at work? She has the option of leaving a toddler unattended or dragging him to the restroom with her, leaving their table empty and likely to be cleared. Or, she can (as most of the mothers I've seen have done) simply feed her child, and people can chill the heck out.

A lot of stores will reshelve your merchandise if you leave it sitting outside the bathroom long enough for the staff to notice it.

On discretion: I don't think that a mother should have to be discreet in feeding her child if 'discreet' means that no one sees so much as a square centimeter of flesh that they couldn't see before she started nursing.

However, just as not openly disciplining your kids in public (as opposed to removing them from the restaurant/theatre/store for a firm private talking to) is wise, because some arrogant busybody will critique you, threaten to call social services, or loudly suggest that the child would benefit from less sparing of the rod, taking a moment to cover up while you nurse is probably not a bad idea.

Some people just can't seem to keep themselves out of the childrearing decisions of others.

Those who look at nursing mothers and see something tawdry or exhibitionist are viewing through a filter of their own smutty minds. To them, what should be a perfectly unremarkable sight is something 'dirty' because they can't seem to imagine how anyone could look at a woman's bare breast without being inspired to lust, or how a woman could expose it without it being an act of seduction.

Try replacing 'breast' with 'udder' when you talk about breastfeeding, and see if it has the same level of scandal. People are socialized to hit on certain trigger words as sexual, and they slobber like Pavlovian dogs over them - either in prurient interest or hysterical opposition.

jayhawk16 12 years, 4 months ago

I think women who insist on breast feeding in public want the attention. I breast feed 2 children and never found it difficult to be very discreet. Now my children are school age and it upsets me very much when I take them to the library and they are exposed to a woman with her breast out. It is a very self centered selfish attitude for a women to think that she can do whatever she wants no matter how it might affect others.

jranderson 12 years, 4 months ago

And we think we live in a country where women are no longer oppressed? We are still viewed as only sex objects. If you are so uncomfortable with it you can simply look away. Or maybe you believe what you are told, that you cannot control your urges and desires, and women are oppressing you by subjecting you to their sexuality.

beatrice 12 years, 4 months ago

FYI: I hear there is a serious computer virus being launched today, so be extra careful when viewing e-mail and opening attachments. (Maybe some of our techies out there can give more info on this.) bea

sunflower_sue 12 years, 4 months ago

I simply can't believe that a couple of you equated feeding a child with the act of urination. WTF? They are breasts. Big whooping deal. I'm w/ Bea and AA!

I do think that a mother can be discreet. I breastfed in public many times and I'm not aware that anyone even noticed. I would have been happy to go to a "nursing room" where I could have sat back in a lay-Z-boy and closed my eyes but let's face it...that's not going to happen. Too much money. An infant sometimes needs to eat every hour (or more frequently). For the first few months, all you are is a traveling milk maker. Are their going to be crews that take over all the shopping and other errands so that the nursing Mom never has to leave the house? Wake up, Lawrence!

Neopolss, I think that video sounds hillarious. I would have done the same thing!

I will add one thing. My very own sister was uncomfortable when I had my first child and needed to feed her. She soon realized that this was one of the most natural and precious things in the world. She's never had children (of her own) but she totally gets it. She opened her mind (and eyes) and changed her way of thinking. Maybe some of you should try and do the same!

Ceallach 12 years, 4 months ago

I thought this topic had been sucked dry a long time ago -- apparently not! There are so many ways a woman can discreetly feed her baby in public places this should be a non issue. If a woman does not have the good sense to cover herself and her child, as much as possible, then I would have no problem with someone asking her to do so (I might even be that someone). The baby doesn't need the entire keg exposed, just the tap :) I say baby because there seems to be a trend these days of 2, 3, and even some 4 year olds still coming to Mom for a snack. IMHO, those mothers needs counseling.

kansasdaughter: you must be very young, my dear. Alas, everything in this world is for men first, women and children may have the scraps that fall under the table. [This is where we take a moment to feel sorry for ourselves :] But seriously, I think your "breasts are for babies" statement will fall on deaf ears with a majority of our population. Otherwise, breast augmentation would not be so popular.

Ragingbear 12 years, 4 months ago

BOOBIES!!! Ahem.... I mean.... Eh....

Some discretion should be used, sure. I believe that there should only be a few exceptions. Feeding while driving for example should be one.

justathought 12 years, 4 months ago

I breastfed both my boys. I was always discreet. I just could never be bold enough to plop it out in public. It's just a personal thing. It wouldn't bother me if another mom was nursing in public. HOWEVER..the story about the lady nursing the 2 year old and it was asleep. That just freaks me out. It is MY PERSONAL opinion that if they are old enough to ask for it...they are to old to be nursing...personally once my kid had teeth nursing was a thing of the past for me

chickypoo995 12 years, 4 months ago

Ok, so what's with the guy that asks the questions on the street?

He lets some people say they are students, and others he says, "I hate to tell ya, but that isn't a real job," and then MAKES YOU CHANGE YOUR OCCUPATION!

Excuse me! If I am doing ANYTHING for more than 30 hours a week, it's a job! JERK!

Ceallach 12 years, 4 months ago

Pavlovian dogs . . . . you gotta love that badger!!

sunflower_sue 12 years, 4 months ago

Bells are ringing...anyone slobbering? Funny badger!

djazz 12 years, 4 months ago

"Would you folks kisten to youselves"

How do you do that??

Richard Heckler 12 years, 4 months ago

What did not appear in my previous remark is that whether or not a woman chooses "discreet" needs to be her option. What may seem discreet to one may not meet the criteria of another. We don't need an ordinance declaring what is or not discreet.

Breasts and breast feeding should not be taught as something taboo. Likely there would much less controversy.

I disagree with the comment that mothers need counseling for breast feeding beyond a lenght of time that is acceptable to someone else. All children are different and I have no doubt that all works out swell.

RonBurgandy 12 years, 4 months ago

Alright OMB...leader of the posts,


avhjmlk 12 years, 4 months ago

As for the urinating vs. breastfeeding ("udderfeeding" hee hee) in public question--let's not forget the public health considerations involved:

Breastfeeding: fewer doctor visits, better immune system, better mother-child bond (leading to better behavior and happier child), less money spent on doctors, formula, diaper rash cream, treatments for constipation, better weight loss for the mother, reduces risk of cancer in both child and mother, the list goes on and on.

Urinating in public: possible transmission of vd or other uro-genital infections, horrible smell, exposing a part of the body considered publicly indecent for BOTH genders, contamination of water/public spaces with untreated body waste, not nutritious for anyone, definitely has no medical benefits...

I think the difference between the two is pretty clear.

Kaw Pickinton 12 years, 4 months ago

How can you compare breast feeding to taking a piss? And how on earth can you have a problem with breast FEEDING in a restaurant?

"Get a Brain Morans"

beatrice 12 years, 4 months ago

OTTR: "If you choose not to cover up, you should be the one embarrased, not me." Why? Are you saying a woman should be "embarrased" by providing a child nurishment? There is nothing to be embarrased about, simple as that. Nothing wrong with a breast and its function to feed. Likewise, there is nothing embarrasing about having breasts at all, whether using to feed a child or not. You see, this is about your hang-ups. This argument is about people like you, and has nothing to do with women.

Actually, I'm surprised a certain someone isn't ranting that we are just a bunch of "baby feeders!"

badger 12 years, 4 months ago

Don't feel bad, chickypoo995.

The OTS reporter asked me a question once, and when I told him my occupation, he said, "What does that mean?"

I smiled and told him that if he didn't know what it is, he could just put down 'professional number wrangler' and leave it at that, but he insisted on using the job title - which he mangled miserably.

The next time they asked me, I just told them I was a barista.

beatrice 12 years, 4 months ago

Also (and then I have work to do) I saw a boob on tv give a State of the Union speech this week, and that didn't seem to bother too many people. Well, except for that other boob who gave the rebuttal. That is right, they do come in pairs.

jhawk924 12 years, 4 months ago

I have never heard such ridiculousness, even here. As a current breastfeeding mom, I feel particularly close to this issue. I have fed in public, even at a restaurant. I got through half of my meal before my husband even noticed that I was feeding our son. Breastmilk has been shown to curb obesity, limit food allergies, have an effect on IQ, and many other benefits. No one has mentioned that when your child is hungary, his feeding cues trigger hormonal cues in the mother. Many mothers can not stop leaking (making it embarrassing for them and producing stares from the pervs staring at their chests anyway) or will be in pain from engorgement and need to pump. I have tried going into bathrooms to feed, but in most public places they are not cleaned and there is nowhere to sit but a dirty toilet with no lid. Anyone who has ever breastfed will know that it is difficult to stand for 10 minutes or more to feed your infant. It also shows much more skin than sitting on a bench or at a table.

beatrice 12 years, 4 months ago

"You boat will not float." But it will bob! : ) (okay, now I have work to do.)

james bush 12 years, 4 months ago

yes, with the understanding that it should be done discreetly.

sd123 12 years, 4 months ago

There is nothing 'beautiful' about breastfeeding. It is a lifestyle choice. Some mothers choose to breast feed their children. Some choose to bottle feed their children.
The issue has become quite disturbing in my opinion. If not for the fact that breasts were not viewed as "sex organs" there wouldn't be this big controversy over breastfeeding.
I suppose one could make the argument that the "No shoes, No shirt, No Service" policy in many places would serve to be "sexist" if that same policy excludes a breastfeeding mother. However, I say it's a little sexist when men are allowed to roam around anywhere and everywhere without wearing shirts. If men can run around without a shirt, then why can't women?
If women were allowed to roam around without shirts, then what would it matter if she has a child attached to one of her breasts?

neopolss 12 years, 4 months ago

The "do it discreetly" comments amuse me the most. We either allow public feeding or not, because obviously it will never be discreet enough for some. I personally don't see the big deal. A mother's breast is a lot different than an ordinary breast. With the engorgement, the leaking milk, and the nipple discoloration, it's difficult to find anything sexual about it. It's not like it is difficult to explain to your child. "That baby is feeding, just like YOU used to!"

bankboy119 12 years, 4 months ago

beatrice posted that she wasn't here to "make you comfortable" and that if women breastfeeding made you uncomfortable then you needed to get over it. Why then should the message of Jesus be silenced because it makes you "uncomfortable"? Hypocritical? I think so.

Side note: We've had over 75 posts before 10....guesses on how many total today?

Aiko 12 years, 4 months ago

I think it is about respecting others around you. If you know if may offend people then respect that and do it in more of a private setting. It may have to do with wanting a little attention too????

glockenspiel 12 years, 4 months ago

Its pretty sad when people are disgusted by a woman breast feeding a baby. Its sad that people can be so repulsed by the human body. Women have a right to breast feed in public. Its only natural. I think families should have some taste on where its appropriate. I find people using cell phones in public way (like restraunts) much more disturbing than some one breastfeeding.

badger 12 years, 4 months ago

Everyone's gonna be offended by something. Nature of the beast.

Bankboy, I am not offended, say, by someone at his own table reading the Bible any more than I'm offended by someone at her own table nursing her child.

However, if that person starts proselytizing loudly, that becomes less like a mother simply nursing her child and more like her squirting nearby diners with milk.

RonBurgandy 12 years, 4 months ago

No one seems to be able to get along... I am almost positive that there would be an argument over the statement "the number 2 comes after the number 1."

There is a difference from self promotion and shameless self promotion, and no, I will not explain it.

badger 12 years, 4 months ago


Only for traditional values of 1 and 2, you narrow-minded numerical xenophobe.

Can't you accept that sometimes numbers just don't feel like being your puppets, you heartless Calculadorian?

rhd99 12 years, 4 months ago

Look, I don't give a crap if it looks unattractive. If a mother NEEDS to feed the little one, then SO BE IT! If I seem angry to some, then yes I am. I am sick & tired of people, like that OCONNOR in the Kansas Legislature brow beating the women of this state with her political correctness CRAP. What did she argue before? That women should not have rights in voting? In holding down a job outside the home? She is now running to be SECRETARY OF STATE?! God help us all.

bankboy119 12 years, 4 months ago

Badger, good point. My statement was to the effect that proselytizing would be equivilent of the story that was posted about the woman sitting there with a 2 year old just dangling off of her asleep. Now that is disgusting. If you want to do it, be decent.

As much as people will get upset about my next comment, too bad. Women should keep their shirts on. The US is a sex crazed culture and that is evident by almost any ad you see on TV. There would be no need for breast augmentation if it weren't. Strip clubs wouldn't be so popular if breasts were just for the kids. Ads on TV wouldn't have 1/2 naked women running around if it wasn't appealing. Sorry ladies, you do get oggled and part of that has to do with your breasts. Besides, if you don't keep up your support then you will be hanging down to your knees and no one wants to see that, honestly.

Aiko 12 years, 4 months ago

If a woman feels the need to flop it out and start feeding right in front of me then all I will say is "Can you fill up my glass, I am thirsty?" I wonder how that would play out? I think I just threw up a little bit......

Confrontation 12 years, 4 months ago

I find it disturbing that a mom would be mad about a breastfeeding woman at the library. Maybe this mad mom should explain to her own kids that this is a natural process. In this way, maybe her little brats won't become boob obsessed like so many who are posting here.

These breastfeeding moms should be applauded. So many women claim they try and just can't do it, yet this is a natural process for a baby. Most of these moms are so self-obsessed that they will automatically switch to unhealthy formula, since they don't want to "waste" their time pumping. I know a young woman who had a baby and claimed it just wouldn't latch on, and now we are all buying her formula with our tax dollars (WIC program). In reality, she just didn't want to mess with it. In the end, her child is more likely to get cancer and other diseases, since she decided to be selfish. I completely understand a working mother's difficulty, but that's what pumps are for...

Redneckgal 12 years, 4 months ago

Oh Bankboy! What a can of worms you probably just opened! I almost feel sorry for you.

RonBurgandy 12 years, 4 months ago


Calculadorian, I like it. I will now start the Calculadorian Party. I am not sure what our stance on things are except for 2 being after 1. Stay tuned to future ots questions for further values and information.

Thanks, RonBurgandy Calculadorian Party.

Linda Endicott 12 years, 4 months ago

Why does breastfeeding have to be done in public? Babies have been breast fed for centuries, yet only recently has this even become an issue. In decades past, in this country, a woman would have immediately been arrested for exposing herself in public. And yes, while women's breasts are primarily for feeding their children, you also can't ignore how society views women's breasts in general, and I don't see that changing anytime soon...

If Janet Jackson had had a baby attached to her, I would guess that whole show would have been a non-issue, huh?

I don't see any reason why women can't be discreet. They are when it comes to other things related to their children in public, like taking care of potty accidents and removing boogers surreptitiously. No reason why they can't do the same with breastfeeding.

I think having a breastfeeding room in every restaurant or store is an excellent idea, and really, how much could one room with a few couches and chairs really cost a business? Seems to me like it would be great PR, being seen as an understanding business that is family friendly. Or, in restaurants in particular, they could have a section designated especially for breastfeeding mothers...lots of places did it for smoking, why not breastfeeding?

As far as breastfeeding in public goes, my doctor told me that I could always use a breast pump and take the breast milk with me...nearly every store and restaurant now has at least a staff breakroom where you could request that a bottle of milk be heated for you. Would that be acceptable? Women who can't breastfeed do this all the time with formula.

I myself had to do this. I was simply too shy to expose myself in public, even if it was breastfeeding...I think women should either cover themselves, go to the restroom, go sit in the car for awhile, or bring the breast milk with them.

I don't understand why this has to be a major problem...a little common sense is all that's required. Even when you're breastfeeding, even the most obtuse dolt should realize what kind of reaction flopping a breast out in public is going to cause...whether that reaction is justified or not.

rhd99 12 years, 4 months ago

We CERTAINLY don't need our tax dollars WASTED in using the word DISCREET in unnecessary legislation regarding breast-feeding in PUBLIC! Mothers feel ashamed to breast-feed in public because people stare at them. The problem is not the mother. It's PEOPLE who have a STARING PROBLEM!

RonBurgandy 12 years, 4 months ago

"Don't you hate pants?"

~Homer Simpson.

rhd99 12 years, 4 months ago

Ron, & everybody else, at the risk of this comment being removed from here, I do have to say this, in Bart Simpson's terms to people like OCONNOR & others like her in Kansas Government with extremist points of view, like this breast-feeding controversey, first of all it's none of your business, & second of all, "Eat my shorts".

RonBurgandy 12 years, 4 months ago

That could be your theme for "No Pants Mondays" TOB.

Linda Aikins 12 years, 4 months ago

All of you need to quit being boobs. They're just trying to make the breast of the situation and if a baby feels hungry, you need to nipple it in the bud. You be the jugs.

Serious answer? Personal choice! In public, I wouldn't.

rhd99 12 years, 4 months ago

Gootsie, good for you, but does it require EXTREMIST OConnor to waste our money using the word discreet in a bill that violates a mother's privacy? Again, political correctness is something that OConnor preaches, but does she practice it? NO!

Aiko 12 years, 4 months ago

crazyks, Right On! You said it the best.........

acg 12 years, 4 months ago

I can't believe how immature people are. My 6 year old step son has less reaction to seeing breast feeding in public than some of the so called grown ups around here. We're not a sex crazed culture. We're a sexually dysfunctional culture because for years we've tried to convince ourselves, and our children that sex is bad, naked is bad, the body is evil, touching yourself will make you blind, and breast feeding is something we should send to the bathroom because heaven forbid someone see an infant eating. Truly, it makes me sick. I would've welcomed some jerkoff coming and getting in my face while I was breast feeding, sometimes in public cause you gotta do whatcha gotta do, I would've had a few choice words for that, or any other close minded, backwards thinking moron that honestly thinks someone feeding their child in public is wrong. I have an idea, any breast feeding moms out there, from now on, just let your child scream in that restaurant or store. Let's see how that grabs 'em. :)

rhd99 12 years, 4 months ago

People who can't stand the sight of mothers breast feeding in a public venue, quit STARING at them.

rhd99 12 years, 4 months ago

Now, who said it best here, drum roll, please, ACG! Thank you, ACG!

irnmadn88 12 years, 4 months ago

I guess the masses will only be placated if breasts are kept between the pages of National Geographic...people should learn from those cultures, I did.

bankboy119 12 years, 4 months ago

acg I think you took my comment wrong. I didn't say it was bad to feed in public, my wife has done it with a blanket over her. My in-laws have as well while we've been out. But as for a sexually dysfunctional culture I'm going to have to disagree. We're turning into one. Since everyone has started sleeping with everyone who has slept with everyone else then the disease rate has skyrocketed. Just take a look at the statistics in the last 50 years. It has been awful. The body isn't evil and sex isn't bad. Sex in the wrong situation is bad. I've seen friends and family come down with STDs and one even with AIDS because of their promiscuous lifestyle. No, I can't tell you you can't be a whore (I'm not saying you are now either) but that doesn't mean there aren't consequences for having sex with anything that walks, that also goes for the guys as well. Again, breasts are not just for the children.

Ceallach 12 years, 4 months ago

Whoa there Marion! Why was I brought into this? To my knowledge I have never said a discouraging word to you! However I now feel compelled to add YET!

I am greatly offended by the insinuation that I am "shamelessly self promoting" -- when the truth is that I often feel pangs of shame about it -- but it's also true that they don't last long :)

NEVER take the name of the CEALLACH in vain again! I can't be responsible for what might happen to you.

beatrice 12 years, 4 months ago

The following is my personal rant against bankboy. Please feel free to skip it.

bankboy writes to me, "Why then should the message of Jesus be silenced because it makes you "uncomfortable"? Hypocritical? I think so."

What are you talking about? When have I ever made such a statement? Just because I don't believe the things Christians believe doesn't mean I want to silence all Christian belief. Go to church every day if you wish, or only watch Pat ("its the passion") Robertson and his Club show, that is fine with me. Knock yourself out. I will never tell you not to give thanks for your meal in public or suggest that the presence of your Bible offends me. However, if you begin speaking to me with this message, don't be surprised if I suggest an alternative.

I could go on, but Badger actually covered this quite well, so I will just add this: you are making judgments about me that do not adhere to fact -- and doesn't your book say something about judging others? And you call me the hypocrite.

Bankboy further states, "Women should keep their shirts on. The US is a sex crazed culture and that is evident by almost any ad you see on TV. There would be no need for breast augmentation if it weren't. Strip clubs wouldn't be so popular if breasts were just for the kids."

So, because men are the ones who go to strip clubs and are the ones "crazed" by sex, shouldn't it be the men who are the ones who need to modify their behavior? Why place the burden of controlling this "crazed" behavior on the women?

Then he adds "Besides, if you don't keep up your support then you will be hanging down to your knees and no one wants to see that, honestly." At this, I agree. Just as you will probably agree that no woman wants to see some guy scratch himself in public, or a guy with a big beer belly walking around with or without a shirt on. What, do you think, only women let themselves go?

acg 12 years, 4 months ago

no bank boy that wasn't specifically for you :) I agree that breasts aren't specifically for children and I also agree with you that our sexual promiscuity and dysfunctions are taking a toll on this country, however, I'm just saying that if you teach your kids from the beginning that their bodies aren't bad and sex isn't evil and masturbation and breast feeding aren't inherently wrong, then the child is more apt to be raised with a healthier outlook on sex, the human body, and everything that surrounds it.

Kookamooka 12 years, 4 months ago

I can't believe someone early in the post likened breast FEEDING to urinating. That person should be investigated!

Kathleen Christian 12 years, 4 months ago

The trouble with young people today is they view the body as a sexual tool. Breast (may) be used within the performance of a sexual act but were not and are not exclusively intended for that purpose. Breast serve two functions 1) to nourished the life of a child, 2) to assist in the initial identification of a women.
One cannot equate breatfeeding vs peeing - if so they must have too many perverted thoughts about the human body. And watching - I've watched many times because I think its beautiful and gives me a warm and comforting feeling. However, I usually ask the mother if she minded if I watched - I have never known a mother to be offended by my asking.
Grow up people.

Kaw Pickinton 12 years, 4 months ago

Most of you who think breastfeeding is discusting and wrong and has no place in public are the ones who say you should be able to smoke anywhere you damn well please because it's your right.

You people are funny.

RonBurgandy 12 years, 4 months ago

"Most of you who think breastfeeding is discusting and wrong and has no place in public are the ones who say you should be able to smoke anywhere you damn well please because it's your right."


nlf78 12 years, 4 months ago

I don't think that you can take away the right of a mother to FEED her child. But I do think that it can be done with discretion. And there are people in this city that aren't too familiar with that term.

Hong_Kong_Phooey 12 years, 4 months ago

Well, I have absolutely no problem seeing a woman plop out her boob to feed the kiddo. I'm a fan of boobs.

I think it's hilarious how some people go on and on about how their freedoms are being restricted, blah, blah, blah. But those same people are petrified at the thought of seeing a body part in public. We may be "the Land of the Free" but only so long as you're not showing a boob. Why are Americans so terrified of the human body?

Kaw Pickinton 12 years, 4 months ago


Let me be the first to thank you for your ever so enlighting comments in this discussion.

badger 12 years, 4 months ago

And unto us beatrice spake:

"So, because men are the ones who go to strip clubs and are the ones "crazed" by sex, shouldn't it be the men who are the ones who need to modify their behavior? Why place the burden of controlling this "crazed" behavior on the women?"

Good point, and well stated.

Why should women bear the brunt of mens' inability to control their own hormonal responses? It's that same mentality that gives us, "Well, if she wasn't looking for sex, she shouldn't have been wearing a short skirt, so it's really her own fault she got raped."

Pushed a little further, it's "Well, women's sinful nature (never gonna overcome that apple/pomegranate moment) is what leads men into sin, so they can't be ministers or leaders in the church." Even further, and you have, "Women are in such danger from men's inability to control themselves that they shouldn't go about alone, and should live with their parents until they marry."

And at the very end of the spectrum that starts with, "Women's behaviour should be modified in response to men's inability to control their horomones" is, "Here, wear this burkha. If you go outside without it and an appropriate male escort, you'll be stoned to death in the streets."

Extreme, yes. But all based in the same root notion, that because it is most often women who lead men to act like sex-crazed morons, it must be women whose actions are controlled in the name of protecting them from the dangers of a hedonistic society.

So when you start talking about how women need to be legislated to 'protect' them from the sex-crazed culture because men can't be expected to control their hormones, take a long hard look at who your brothers in philosophy are. It's ugly company, and I wouldn't want to be in it.

jhawk924 12 years, 4 months ago

Thirty one states allow mothers to breastfeed in any public or private location (California, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Louisiana, Maine, Maryland, Minnesota, Missouri, Montana, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, North Carolina, Oklahoma, Ohio, Oregon, Rhode Island, South Dakota, Utah, Texas, Vermont and Virginia).

Fifteen states exempt breastfeeding from public indecency laws (Alaska, Florida, Illinois, Michigan, Montana, Nevada, New Hampshire, North Carolina, Oklahoma, Rhode Island, South Dakota, Utah, Virginia, Washington and Wisconsin).

hmm, i guess kansas is just trying to be backwards and intolerant on yet another issue. what more can be expected

michael5454 12 years, 4 months ago

It would certainly be nice if discretion is observed. Thus, something so wholesome and natural as breast feeding could be done without "offending" the most conservative and reasonable person. That said, there is always going to be someone that will not use discretion just to get a rise or prove a personal point.

In reality, it is not breast feeding at a restaurant (or any public place) that disturbs me. No, it is the rude parents of children who walk, or should I say run and play in a restaurant disturbing other patrons. In other words, the other patrons become the baby sitters while the offending parents are free of their children. If there should be any law, it should be to keep your children seated at a restaurant so EVERYONE can enjoy there meal. And no, I am not some grunpy old man. I have two children grown up that when little, learned to sit at the table. Where did manners go?

acg 12 years, 4 months ago

Being a new mom, this topic is important to me, and I was all ready to rail at ruskastud for his insensitive, moronic comments but then I thought, why bother? Some people are just dumber than dirt, and there's nothing we can do about it, right? So in the immortal words of Fez, "I said good day to you." shole. I'm adding the shole, because this feels like an **shole moment. :)

avhjmlk 12 years, 4 months ago

I have to reply to Confrontation.

I TRIED to nurse my preemie. I tried SO HARD that I worked myself into a tizzie. However, considering her medical issues (mostly reflux--she was so uncomfortable that she couldn't sleep until we figured out what it was), and the relative size comparison (well endowed vs. tiny preemie-sized baby mouth/head), she simply couldn't handle it. And, because she was so uncomfortable most of the time, I couldn't pump because I was spending all of my time either trying to get her to nurse, supplementing her with fomula because she wouldn't nurse, and trying to keep her comfortable.

But, you know, when you figure out how to let me grow 2 extra arms and an extra breast so I can do all of those things at the same time, let me know. Until then, don't be so quick to judge.

RonBurgandy 12 years, 4 months ago

Thanks kawryan! It's always nice to hear a kind word!

Oh, and one more thing, would be be so kind as to explain how your comment comparing breastfeeding and smoking in public adds enlightenment to this debate?

Thanks, RonBurgandy.
Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah.

avhjmlk 12 years, 4 months ago

Oh, and I fogot to mention that the whole nursing thing came crashing down on my first Mother's Day, which just about threw me into a post-partum depression oblivion, if you need any more convincing about how hard I tried to nurse.

People who try, and really really want to, but still "fail" at nursing a baby take comments such as Confrontation's very personally (if you hadn't noticed).

sd123 12 years, 4 months ago

Okay Marion....I'll bite........ What part of that statement gives off the impression (to you) that I am an idiot?

rhd99 12 years, 4 months ago

Again, whether you're tall, short, fat or skinny, if a mother breast feeds in public, it is her business, NOT a low-life politician who has degraded women's rights here in the state of Kansas. If people are offended, GET OVER IT! Mothers have rights, just like everybody else. TOB, it would not be a big deal if a politician didn't HAVE to mention she would include the word "DISCREET" in legislation that WASTES Tax payer money.

Ceallach 12 years, 4 months ago

Marion, if I relaxed anymore I'd probably go to sleep -- which would not go over well with my supervisor. My goal each day is to take neither myself nor others too seriously (especially on a newspaper comment board!). You are the one that used the word attack. I did not feel attacked by your silly list. But after your post to me I am feeling kinda attacked :( [I need a moment to compose myself] Now, I want to be clear about this


Maybe you need to lighten up -- you're only providing fodder for their cannons.

bankboy119 12 years, 4 months ago

Okay badger I agree with part of your post but at the same time...are you going to put an alcoholic in a bar and expect nothing to happen? I don't think so.

If women "hate" so much how people gawk at them, dress appropriately. If you're uncomfortable being stared at all the time, cover up. You can't place all the blame on the men. Now granted some men do need to learn respect, women don't need to run around flaunting themselves either. If they do then they are going to get unwanted attention. Now physically or sexually assaulting a woman for what she is wearing is a completely different situation and in no instance is it acceptable.

michael5454 12 years, 4 months ago

Years ago, my wife was a head nurse on post partum at KU Med Center. She is now a school nurse. What is upsetting is NOT whether to breast feed or not in public--ask a nurse or health professional. They will tell you things that are truely offensive. That said, ease up. It's Friday. Enjoy below:

No Parent Left Behind....

I promise you cannot read these and not laugh out loud. These are real notes written by parents...(spellings have been left intact.)

Now we know why parents are screaming for better education for our kids.

  1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today. Please execute him.

  2. Please exkuce lisa for being absent she was sick and i had her shot.

  3. Dear school: please ecsc's john being absent on jan. 28, 29, 30,31, 32 and also 33.

  4. Please excuse gloria from jim today. She is administrating.

5 Please excuse roland from p.e. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

  1. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

  2. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.

  3. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

  4. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

  5. Please excuse ray friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

  6. Please excuse pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre, dyrea, direathe), the sh**s. [note: words in ( )'s were crossed out].

  7. Please excuse tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.

  8. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust!

  9. Please excuse jimmy for being It was his father's fault.

  10. I kept billie home because she had to go christmas shopping because i don't know what size she wear

  11. Please excuse jennifer for missing school yesterday We forgot to get the sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it monday. We thought it was sunday.

  12. Sally won't be in school a week from friday. We have to attend her funeral.

  13. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the marines.

  14. Please excuse jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.

  15. Please excuse mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

  16. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.

  17. Please excuse brenda. She has been sick and under the doctor.

  18. Maryann was absent december 11-16, because she had a fever, sorethroat, theadache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever an sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.

JHawker 12 years, 4 months ago

I have not yet had children but i certainly agree that breastfeeding is the best and most logical decision for all mothers. I also know and understand that when a child is hungry it needs to be fed - no matter where they are! For all of you posters who are anti-public breastfeeding - i truly hope you never leave this already quite close-minded country because you will be genuinely shocked at the norms of just about every other country in the world! i hope you never go to a country where they have nude beaches.. or show nudity in commercials and on regular day-time television - in general - simply keep yourselves shut up in your own close-minded world and never experience life for what it truly is. This shouldn't even be an issue - it should be promoted - that mothers should breast feed their children. Someone said a mother could buy a breast pump? yeah - those things cost money which not everyone has - i'd like to see you donate money to every single mother in need of one! The reaction of those close-minded people here is beyond ridiculous. I look forward to having children and people will certainly see me around town breastfeeding my child when she's hungry... just not all of me as I will not be flaunting myself around town.

hottruckinmama 12 years, 4 months ago

i don't see that its that big of a deal. unless the mother is trying to show-off and i don't think most of them are-they're shouldn't be a problem. i myself never wanted to breastfeed my kids-my boobs-my kids my decision. my kids turned out just fine without it. but you wouldn't believe the flack i took from other moms sometimes. see 99% of all problems would be avoided if we would just keep our own noses in our own business. you see someone breastfeeding and don't like it don't look. if you want to breastfeed your baby fine but don't expect everyone to do it.

CanadianPassport 12 years, 4 months ago

I think if people can take a dump in public in a tasteful manner, it ought to be allowed. One of the guys from Jackass did so in their feature film. It was classy and understated. However, most people probably shouldn't be allowed to do so. As far as breastfeeding in public, what's most important is the city government should take steps to ensure that strippers can do so without violating non-compete agreements with their employers.

avhjmlk 12 years, 4 months ago

bankboy, I think you accidentally hit the nail on the head.

I think the real issue here is, the people who are arguing for "discreet" to be put in the law are uncomfortable with seeing a breast "in action." The people whose breasts are seen are NOT uncomfortable with their breasts being seen by others. That's the rift. Therefore, those showing their breasts, or even just nursing in public, will continue not being uncomfortable with what they're doing, and those who are uncomfortable with it will never get over it.

Aiko 12 years, 4 months ago

This comment was removed by the site staff for violation of the usage agreement.

rhd99 12 years, 4 months ago

Hottruckinmama, thank you. That part of keeping our noses in our own business, NEEDS to apply to our KANSAS LEGISLATURE & their NOSEY political ambitions (like that of OCONNOR). Hey, OCONNOR, MIND your OWN Business!

Aiko 12 years, 4 months ago

That was my first removal from the staff! Yes!

Hong_Kong_Phooey 12 years, 4 months ago

Aiko: Isn't it nice to know that the thought police are ever vigilant at the Journal World? Heaven forbid anyone write anything that another might take offense too!

Confrontation 12 years, 4 months ago

avhjmlk: You said you tried to breastfeed, but you couldn't. Did you continue to pump your breasts and feed your natural milk to the child, even after determining the child couldn't nurse naturally? If you did, then kudos to you. If not, then you receive no kudos. If the baby could not physically take the milk from your breat, then I completely understand. Mom's who give up too easily and switch completely to formula are doing a great injustice to their child. I don't mind anyone taking any of my posts personally.

Linda Aikins 12 years, 4 months ago

Welcome to the boards, Aiko!

"People who try, and really really want to, but still 'fail' at nursing a baby take comments such as Confrontation's very personally (if you hadn't noticed)."

Well put, avhjhealthykidsanywaymlk. I nursed 2/3 of my children, but couldn't on the first one. It really was difficult for me to accept that but luckily it worked later. Funny - the bottle baby seems to be the most healthy!!!

sd123 12 years, 4 months ago

It's okay OMB. Marion has issues. LOL I am a woman, mother of 3. I breast fed all of my children. Not because it was "Beautiful" but because I chose to. After researching the pros and cons of breastfeeding (due in part of wharped minded individuals who get offended at the sight of a woman nursing her child), I still chose to nurse my children. After-all, the health benefits of breast feeding far outweighed the the critical thinking of the "idiots" who are offended at the sight of it. snicker snicker.

badger 12 years, 4 months ago

bankboy said:

"Okay badger I agree with part of your post but at the same time...are you going to put an alcoholic in a bar and expect nothing to happen? I don't think so.

If women "hate" so much how people gawk at them, dress appropriately. If you're uncomfortable being stared at all the time, cover up. You can't place all the blame on the men. Now granted some men do need to learn respect, women don't need to run around flaunting themselves either. If they do then they are going to get unwanted attention. Now physically or sexually assaulting a woman for what she is wearing is a completely different situation and in no instance is it acceptable."

If I put that alcoholic in the bar, and he starts drinking, the responsibility for every drop he drinks is...


...his. Until I hold him down and pour bourbon in his mouth, then hold his nose to make him swallow it, he is personally responsible for controlling his actions. Will I offer to help him overcome his behaviour, and do what I can for him? Sure thing. But if he chooses to drink, he chooses to drink. I have long since stopped taking responsibility for the choices of the drunks in my life, and trust me, it's a better way.

If a man can't control his urges, and his lack of control is part of the reason you cite that women's behaviour should be forcibly altered, then you need to start assigning some personal responsibility to the men instead. If a woman doesn't like that a man is ogling her when she breastfeeds, she can politely say, "Sir, I'm feeding my child. I would appreciate it if you would have the courtesy not to stare. There are many magazine publications available if you are unfamiliar with the female mammary anatomy." If he continues staring, he is a boor. The responsibility for his boorishness and its consequences (for example, if the date or friend with whom he is dining chooses not to dine with him again) is his, not hers, and she shouldn't be legally prevented from attending to the NEEDS OF HER CHILD because he is a neanderthal ignoramus who lacks the social skills God gave a crumpet.

avhjmlk 12 years, 4 months ago

Actually, Confrontation, the extreme stress I was under (not sleeping, overwhelmed with trying to nurse, just moved to a new house, husband studying for board exams, my own school stress, and the beginnings of post partum depression) actually worked to deplete my milk supply so that I got to the point where pumping for half an hour might have gotten me 1-2 oz, and then my child started refusing the breast milk. Wanna tell me what you think I was supposed to do differently?

avhjmlk 12 years, 4 months ago

offtotheright--remember how it feels making fun of people for getting "their little feelings hurt" the next time you accuse anyone on this board of being insensitive, accusatorial, confrontational, or judgmental toward you.

avhjmlk 12 years, 4 months ago

Ok, I've lost my ability to be civil, so I'm done for today.

craigers 12 years, 4 months ago

badger, very well put. However do you agree that there is a difference between dressing appropriately and dressing like hookers? I mean some girls today where shirts that flaunt their breasts and some of the skirts are so short that it is simply distasteful. I don't agree with forcing a dress code or anything on that level but you also can't say well men need to control their urges either. It is a two way road. Men need to grow up and be men by controling their eyes and their thoughts. However, women could help the matter too by dressing with some cover and not trying to almost expose their breasts with revealing shirts and short skirts. (When I say short skirts I mean the ones that almost show buttcheek)

Aiko 12 years, 4 months ago

What about lesbians who "dress like hookers"?

Ceallach 12 years, 4 months ago

Aiko: welcome to the club. We occasionally have support group meetings at a local coffee house :)

Ceallach 12 years, 4 months ago

omb: Thanks for giving him the idea!!! :( If he does he better not add anything liablous about me or I will sew (better yet, I will sunflower_sue him -- no doubt leaving him with a permanent tic). Maybe that's too harsh, I'll just sew and let it go at that

Aiko 12 years, 4 months ago

Maybe we can push for breast feeding areas located at your nearest roundabout! This way all who drive by can take a a zoo!

Confrontation 12 years, 4 months ago

avhjmlk: I think you seriously tried to breastfeed and you deserve kudos. You can't say it doesn't tick you off when you hear about women who don't even try to provide cancer-fighting breastmilk to their children or who give up too easily. I wish other women would take it as seriously as you obviously did.

nlf78 12 years, 4 months ago

avhjmlk: I can somewhat sympathize with your situation. I couldn't breast-feed my preemie for the first few weeks. My main problem is that LMH doesn't have a NICU, so my baby was in KC, while I was stuck in Lawrence. But during that time, I suffered pumping every 3 hours in order to make sure that she had a sufficent supply of milk. Once my health was back in order and she was cleared to come home, we breastfed for close to 6 more months. She did pretty good but she took to the bottle alot better. So I pumped MOST of the time to give it to her. I finally decided to quit, but we had such a stock of it in our freezer (because she was REALLY small and couldn't eat much) that she was still getting my breastmilk for over a month after I quit. I want to congratulate you on your efforts! Especially knowing how much of a difference it makes in the development of a preemie baby. I hope your little one is doing good!

hottruckinmama 12 years, 4 months ago

confrontation..i don't think it is your place to get "ticked off" about how other mothers choose to feed there babies. it all goes back to that old my your own business stuff. i know its hard.

angelofmine 12 years, 4 months ago

I breastfed my daughter for nine months. It wasn't easy to feed her in I would try to find a quiet spot elsewhere, besides a nasty public bathroom. Imagine trying to stand up and hold a 20 pound weight to your chest for a feeding of 20 minutes....most bathrooms are not designed for nursing comfort. If you tried to cover her with even a light blanket while feeding, she would sweat through her clothing or at the most inopportune moment, she would kick the blanket off completely! I quickly learned to feed my child privately or as discreetly as I could. That first year, I just didn't get out much. It was worth it though. She was hardly sick, and is hardly sick now.

I do believe that there are some moms that are not so discreet. I think part of that is just becoming so accustomed to nursing that they don't think anyone would mind or maybe they don't care what anyone thinks, their baby is hungry and must be fed, right? Bottles aren't always an option, some babies absolutely refuse to take the bottle.

I just hope that proposed ideas against breastfeeding in public don't discourage new mothers to NOT breastfeed.

avhjmlk 12 years, 4 months ago

Ok, I'm back (momentarily) :) Just can't stay away, right?

ottr--I was waiting for someone to clue into that little play on letters...You win today's prize!

Confrontation--glad to know that I met your standards for effort. I'm not so offended anymore. I do, however, agree with hottruckinmama, that it's a nosiness issue that none of us have the right to be judgmental about.

nlf78--Doing fabulously, actually (will be 2 in April). Developmentally ahead both for gestational age and chronological age, really. Never in the NICU--only one extra day in the hospital, and had no real problems other than GERD and a complete lack of baby fat (=had to stay wrapped really tightly with blankies and an extra nightgown). Passed the carseat test with flying colors, too, upon dismissal.

nlf78 12 years, 4 months ago

Congrats!! My baby just turned 2, she is also ahead for both g & c ages and she spent 6 weeks and 1 day in the NICU. Then again, she was 2 lbs 1 oz when I had her and 3 lbs 9.5 oz when she came home! I remember the fun of layering clothes all the time. Sometimes I still catch myself putting layers on her now and she definitely doesn't need it ;-)

badger 12 years, 4 months ago

craigers said:

"badger, very well put. However do you agree that there is a difference between dressing appropriately and dressing like hookers? I mean some girls today where shirts that flaunt their breasts and some of the skirts are so short that it is simply distasteful. I don't agree with forcing a dress code or anything on that level but you also can't say well men need to control their urges either. It is a two way road. Men need to grow up and be men by controling their eyes and their thoughts. However, women could help the matter too by dressing with some cover and not trying to almost expose their breasts with revealing shirts and short skirts. (When I say short skirts I mean the ones that almost show buttcheek)."

I think women who dress like that have a lot of different reasons for doing so. Men who dress in provocative fashion also have their reasons for doing so. Earlier this week, I observed a man walking down the street wearing short shorts that had to be cutting off bloodflow to his legs and a sheer nylon tank top. It goes both ways, and if either gender is out there in flesh-flashing skin-hugging clothing, it can reasonably be assumed that they won't mind the occasional appreciative look or compliment, so long as it isn't as tacky as the outfit.

They are, you see, dressing provocatively. They are wearing clothes designed to display their bodies to the best advantage, a process generally undertaken because one wishes to be perceived as attractive - by self or others. A woman who dresses in a provocative manner would not be surprised to find that others find her sexually appealing in that short skirt, because she wore it for the purpose of looking good. She would have the right to object if someone felt her short skirt was an invitation to make advances and continue them after being rebuffed, or if someone felt that her tight blouse gave him a right to 'accidentally' brush up against her in the grocery store. If someone leered at her, she could call him a rude jerk. However, she wouldn't really have much to stand on in expecting people not to look.

But when it comes to breastfeeding, there's no comparison there to a short skirt or a tight blouse. Breastfeeding women aren't doing it to be attractive, they're doing it for the purpose of feeding their children. Nursing doesn't exactly display your body to its best advantage; it just shows a quick flash of skin, with minimal exposure.

Linda Endicott 12 years, 4 months ago

I don't think there should be so much bashing in here of mothers who chose not to breastfeed...this is a very personal decision, and there are all kinds of reasons why or why not, and people who are saying someone didn't have the best interests of their baby in mind are just being cruel.

Some people spank their children. Some do not. Again, a very personal choice.

Some people masturbate. Some do not. Again, a very personal choice.

Some people have sex outside of marriage. Some do not. Again, a very personal choice.

Why is everyone so concerned with other people's personal choices? Do they even remotely affect your personal life? If not, then let other people's choices alone.

sweetpeagj 12 years, 4 months ago

Sorry, I didn't read all the posts and maybe I am just repeating what others have said but this issue is important.. Ok..for all of you that think they shouldn't be able to here's a scenario..the next time you are out and get hungry you are not allowed to eat in your car, if you go to a place to sit down and eat then if I have to be disgusted by horrible table manners then does that mean I can ban you from eating in public? I have sat and just gawked at these people that talk with their mouths full, chewed with their mouths open and ugh..gross or my favorite one the people who think if they even have a little more room in their mouths that they can shove it all in and then chew with their mouths open.. How about if you sit there and pick at the food in your teeth with your fingers? Does that give all of us the right to ban others from eating in public? I nursed my kids wherever I was at at the time they were hungry. Yes, I did it discreetly and comfortably. Not for all you people that don't want to see my breast but for myself and my baby. Hell, the majority of you guys get off on watching girls with half their butts hanging out and breasts ready to fall out of their tops. I think that is a double standard. Ones doing it for attention but the mother only wants to feed her child.

Confrontation 12 years, 4 months ago

hottruckinmama: "it all goes back to that old my your own business stuff. i know its hard."

It sure is, isn't it? I'm sure glad you acknowledge how hard it is, since you seem to have a problem with it.

Linda Endicott 12 years, 4 months ago

I personally hate it when people blow their nose at a restaurant...eewww...

RonBurgandy 12 years, 4 months ago

Getting kinda steamy in here since I was on last.

Unbuttons shirt Realizes that might offend someone and quickly rebuttons

I will just have to suffer through the heat.

acg 12 years, 4 months ago

sweetpeagj, you hit on the head, there, girl. If you were to go up to half of the men complaining about this and flash them a little booby, they'd be all high fiving happy. Attach a child to that breast and all of a sudden it's taboo.

beatrice 12 years, 4 months ago

Aiko: Welcome to the club! I'm actually shocked it didn't happen sooner -- you aren't trying hard enough. ; ) "What about lesbians who "dress like hookers"?" I think I have an idea of what you will be renting for entertainment this evening.

bankboy: "Now physically or sexually assaulting a woman for what she is wearing is a completely different situation and in no instance is it acceptable." Wow, you are actually against rape! Good for you -- such compassion for your fellow human beings. It takes a real man to proclaim that they are against assaulting women. A true pillar of society I say. My hero.

badger: love the connection of our conservative views on clothing with Islamic fundamentalists. Extremely well done.

bankboy119 12 years, 4 months ago

Badger, I completely agree with your post. Mine was not in reference to breast feeding though. It is entirely okay for women to breast feed in public but they need to understand some people are going to be uncomfortable with it. The people who are uncomfortable with it do not have to be completely rude as is evident by some of the posts today. It can go both ways. As for the post about breastfeeding in the theaters, it's dark, the child had a blanket over them, they were watching sex scenes, no reason to be a complete jerk. As for the restaurant with the two year old sleeping on the breast, lady have some respect for the other people in the restaurant. The kid's done, put your shirt back on. Personally, I really think it comes down to common courtesy, not, "I have the right to do this so deal with it!" People should have some respect for each other.

bankboy119 12 years, 4 months ago

Actually bea I figured if I didn't put that in there you would say that I wasn't. It should be obvious that I would be against that but I'm not sure people would understand that if it wasn't typed out plain and simple.

Harry_Manback 12 years, 4 months ago

I think they should be able to, but only discreetly and not in places where food is present. I say this because if someone was eating, I could see how watching another woman breastfeed might nauseate them.

Also it's kind of a safety hazard cause breastmilk can spread the HIV virus, and although the risk is slim to nil, it is still a risk we should consider.

It may be natural, but we don't allow other natural processes to be seen in public, such as going to the bathroom or sex. I am torn on this one because I would never feel comfortable breastfeeding in public, but I suppose some women would and should be able to do so, but only in certain situations.

nlf78 12 years, 4 months ago

ruskastud - I bet that if you have seen any "boobies" (as say it so well) you are paying for them. And nursing ISN'T showing breasts! IT'S FEEDING A CHILD!! QUIT being a pervert and look away!

beatrice 12 years, 4 months ago

bankboy, let me try to get this across one more time: "but they need to understand some people are going to be uncomfortable with it." And I say so what? I am not going to change my way of being or change my actions because someone else is "uncomfortable." This is the point here. People shouldn't change their actions just because it makes someone else uncomfortable. If someone were to say to you that watching you pray in public before a meal makes them "uncomfortable" because they are atheist or just don't like to see public displays of worship, would you change your behavior? I hope not. Same here.

If someone else is uncomfortable, then they either need to look the other way or get used to it. I'm uncomfortable when I see young people with a ton of tatoos and piercings -- does this mean they shouldn't be allowed to get pierced? There are plenty of things that I don't like to see others do, but just because it makes me "uncomfortable" doesn't mean they should change their behavior to satisfy me.

Do you see this -- or do you just think you should be able to tell others how they should behave based on your own set of rules, regardless of what others think?

badger 12 years, 4 months ago

Bankboy - I understand what you're saying, but my issue is when the concept of breastfeeding in public doesget equated with 'showing off your wares' and considered the same sort of thing as deliberately flashing your cleavage for some Mardi Gras beads. It makes it harder to keep the associations separate if people keep bringing in the lesbians dressed like hookers, is all.

bea - thank you! It's amazing what you find when you dig out the root philosophy for a popular social notion and point out what else is based in that root philosophy, isn't it?

ruskastud - All hail the wisdom of the 19%!

neopolss 12 years, 4 months ago

Point a)

Discreetion is really a non-issue here. We're looking for a yea or nay on this. Honestly though, must we look past the many people who would benefit from this and focus on the one classless slob that would have no tact. Is THAT person even worth mentioning? I would think not, as there is always someone who possesses no thoughfulness at all. Let's not allow that to ruin this for everyone else. We lose focus of the task at hend when someone tries to steer it to the one or two abuses.

Point b)

This speaks volumes about those who talkk of family values, yet repulse at the mere mention of public breastfeeding. Let's get one thing straight everyone. We're not talking about a mother walking into the center of the public square, whipping them out full frontal, and milking away. We're talking the privilage of breastfeeding on a bench in public, maintaining low profile, without fear of being confronted by someone about it being illegal. Again, let's focus on those of us with common sense to maintain a certain discretion, and less on those who probably wouldn't care what the law was.

coolmom 12 years, 4 months ago

we are such an uptight country....if a woman feels comfortable breastfeeding in public then by all means she should jeez i have seen guys without a shirt on all over this city and believe me some of them should really leave the shirts on. its not like breastfeeding mom is feeding with one and whirling the other for dollars bills in her g string. why is this such a big deal?

snakiller 12 years, 4 months ago

lordy lordy ...i cant believe this even was and is an issue ... this is a natural thing...and to me the ones who are making issue of it have a depraved mind ... this is the most ridiculous question and alot of these answers remind me of why i dont want the moral majority to make judgment calls regarding my life with respect to laws passed, etc

get a life, and quit making it into a sexual affair ...its breastfeeding for Gods sake, quite simple and i dont believe any of these breastfeeding women are enticing the public ...and soliciting lap dances...pervs look away ...sick!

bankboy119 12 years, 4 months ago

I don't think that I should tell others how to behave. If you would read my post you would understand that what I am calling for is respect and accountability from each and every person. People should show respect for one another.

Let me try this from another angle. If I go to Japan, or some one in general, and do not remove my shoes when I enter their house then it would be extremely disrepectful to them. They would be "uncomfortable" with the way I behave. Should I not then be polite because it is the courteous thing to do or should I behave like you and say "though *hit" I can do what I want? Should I go to a sports game and stand the whole time because I can or should I sit so the people behind me can see? Well I COULD stand but I don't because of common courtesy. I hope you can see the point here because I can't think of a much better example.

I guess here let me try two words: Common courtesy.

One word: Manners.

Be polite and considerate of the company you are in.

BunE 12 years, 4 months ago

This not really an issue is it? Jebus, you puritan-I-accidentally-brushed-a-nipple-and-thought-of-a-woman-besides-my-wife-freaks need to get over it.

Women: Dress how ever you want, you are all beautiful.

Mothers: Feed your child, thank you.

Men: actually, if you can't control yourself if you see a breast or the small of a back on a woman, you are not much of a man at all.

acg 12 years, 4 months ago

badger gets the prize for comment of the day "all hail the wisdom of the 19%" That was awesome!

mefirst 12 years, 4 months ago

Bankboy--that goes also for the people whose sensibilities are so fragile that they can't stand to see an exposed breast, even if it's nourishing a child. If you're in the company of a woman with a child, you should expect that she'll need to feed it. If you can't handle such a display, excuse yourself. Again...common courtesy.

I've known women who won't breastfeed because it "just doesn't feel right" to have an infant suckling on their nipple. That's what we've come to. Women feel like it's a dirty thing.

It's a shame that we've been conditioned to believe NATURE is somehow against GOD.

samsnewplace 12 years, 4 months ago

When a baby is hungry, is there really an option? I would cover myself, but it is a natural way of feeding your child. So long as you are not hanging out in the breeze, who is offended? Not me.

beatrice 12 years, 4 months ago

badger - love the whole "root philosophy" thread. BunE - you are a beautiful soul. : ) mefirst - Wow! Nice turn on the common courtesy line. Very well done, indeed.

craigers 12 years, 4 months ago

sorry boogey but the first time I saw your post I thought your name was boobeyman.

red6102003 12 years, 4 months ago

woman have been breast feeding for decades now all of a sudden we are offended by it. Come on! why are we wasting our tax paying dollars on some buricractic male drivin issue. We have bigger problems like Education,Poverty,ect. Why are we wasting money on something that has never been an issue until now.

avhjmlk 12 years, 4 months ago

BTW, what is a "personal operations manager" anyway?

Doesn't that sound like he's managing the operations of an individual person--ie, bowel functions, public urination, and mammary glands? If he's a personal operations manager, he shouldn't be so wierded out by breastfeeding...

Jay Bird 12 years, 4 months ago

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beatrice 12 years, 4 months ago

ottr: "This has turned into a 'mommies that breast feed' chat forum." Don't forget to add, "and the men who are made 'uncomfortable' by it."

Don't worry, I'm sure we will chat about the Super Bowl soon enough. By the way -- Go Steelers!!!!!

killjoy 12 years, 4 months ago

I think this topic has gotten too much exposure

Ceallach 12 years, 4 months ago

Gals . . . don't you just love to sit back and let the guys duke it out . . . OVER BREAST FEEDING!!! This has brightened an otherwise frustrating day :)

btw, have I mentioned how much I hate php and pl files?? Chances are no one else cares but they have been the bain of my existence for the last month!!! BAN PHP and PL files!!

EvaTrujillo 12 years, 4 months ago

Most folks believe Yes to the question on the street. Discreet is subjective, that I understand. Really, the question should be, " Should breast-fed babies be disriminated against by having to go somewhere to feed while the bottle-fed babies get remain in public?"

BabysMomma 12 years, 4 months ago

The people here who are urging mothers to be discreet about breastfeeding are the same ones who scowl at you if your baby starts shrieking in the grocery store - out of hunger.

When you hear the baby's cries, it triggers a biological reaction and it becomes almost UNBEARABLE not to nurse asap because there's so much pressure.

And BTW the health benefits nursing provides to both mom and baby (and therefore future society at large) far outweigh the minor "annoyances" of--gasp!--spotting a new mother's breast as she tries to nurse her hungry baby.

Oh and take a poll of mothers with young children and I guarantee you what you'll learn is they are FAR too overwhelmed with their new role to give a lot of thought to "showing their wares." It's hard enough to get the hang of nursing at first without having to worry about social "mores."

moron 12 years, 4 months ago

I don't object to breast feeding in public. Although, it is irritating when a stupid, suckling kid's head is blocking a full view it.



mr_sassy_pantsss 12 years, 4 months ago

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jonas 12 years, 4 months ago

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oldfashiongirl 12 years, 4 months ago

Dear bearded-gnome:

I am so proud of myself for figuring out how to get your rercipe in printable form, but can't seem to get it to print. I took your advice and clicked your name and found all those posts of yours. Then I clicked "view all" and "next" till I found your Dec. 11th post containing the recipe. I wanted to save it, so I highlighted it and then Ctrl C and hoped I wouldn't lose it while I exited your personal page. I found "comment" on today's OTS page and did "Ctrl V" and it transferred. Then I highlighted it within the "comment" box and tried printing it, but it printed pages 1of 27 of tday's posts, which I didn't want and thought I would save it in Microsoft "Word"'s "My documents" and it did and I named it "B. genome's Roast Beef Recipe Dec. 12th 2005. It was saved in a folder and when I clicked to "open" it, it didn't work, so I am not much on computers and if any of you smart people, or computer geeks out there will tell me what to do, I will do it. How do you get those messages to show within a post, so people can read them? Thanks.

Richard Heckler 12 years, 4 months ago


The bottom line is allow children to be fed whenever and wherever. The greater majority of Moms do not "flop" them out. It could be some are paying too much attention to nursing mom's instead should be minding their own business. Stop looking is the key.

sloppyscience 12 years, 4 months ago

I believe it should be allowed up until the child starts shaking his head and making motorboat noises

sweetpeagj 12 years, 4 months ago

I know when I had my first child my family sat around and watched while I fed my son for the first time at home. I was very uncomfortable because, well, I wasn't used to it at all. I asked why it was so important and they said health reasons for the baby and vanity reasons for myself it was just better all the way around. I never just flopped it out with any of my kids and couldn't imagine doing it so vulgar. I understand that comment about not wanting to see things while I am eating but I will just refer to my earlier post. I would so much rather see a mom feeding her child than some of the rude and disgusting table habits of the majority of people out there. Of course, they are probably the same ones that forget even when you are driving people can see you picking your nose. Finger up nose..nursing mother..tough choice..NOT.

YourItalianPrincess 12 years, 4 months ago

As long as I have been posting on here, I believe this might be one of the biggest ones.

I had no idea that breast feeding would have others commenting so much.

stbaker 12 years, 4 months ago

I'm sorry, are the anti-breastfeeding croonies not looking at anyone else in public? Or at the covers of magazines in the grocery checkout, or at what the "role models" (innappropriately deemed so) for todays female race are? I've seen bikini tops that could have doubled as nipple band-aids because they were so revealing. Many women are barely covering up! No doubt, if you walked along Mass today you could see someone (if not several) people wearing skimpy, show my butt-cheek skirts...Someone's butt-crack trying to escape from his/her pants...sheer tops that allow you to see nipples without babies attached...I mean, we could go on and on here. Breastfeeding in public shouldn't even be an issue...And for those who point out that there are public restrooms where moms can go feed their babes. Public restrooms are for urinating and defecating in, not for eating in...Would you enjoy eating your lunch while in a public restroom? I doubt it...and just think, you were once a baby.

moron 12 years, 4 months ago


Why would you react and physically assault a resturant manager? Wouldn't a sneaky, anonymous, mass-mailing post card campaign been more your style?



Susan Mangan 12 years, 4 months ago

This isn't about religion or politics. I am extremely conservative, politically, but I am astounded that people have a problem with breastfeeding in public. I am a Christian (although not a "fundamentalist) and I have very "traditional" values. But, for goodness sake, breastfeeding is the feeding of a child! This I'll probably get flamed for, but I do agree that when they reach an age where the breast isn't a required method of eating, it just strikes me as a little creepy to see a child latched on. If they're old enough to remember it someday, then they're too old, in my humble opinion.

As conservative as I am, it would probably shock a lot of people to know that, in my opinion, not only should breastfeeding in public be explicitly legal, but going topless should be, as well. The simple fact that breasts are considered a sexual object makes it illegal for women to bare their breasts, when men can do it just "because". Believe me, I would rather see a woman breastfeeding than some men's breasts that I've been flashed. That's one heck of a double-standard and, clearly, sexist. On those 100+ degree summer days, it reminds me just how unfair it is that my breasts are illegal to expose, just because some man (or woman, I suppose) might like it.

I didn't get to breastfeed...I tried and I wanted to, but I had a life-threatening medical condition that resulted in me having to take medicines that are dangerous for a breastfeeding infant. The cost and hassle of bottle-feeding were extreme and I would have loved to have avoided both, but my life was more important.

If you have a problem with public breastfeeding, or if it "offends" you to see it...DON'T WATCH! It's not a peep-show for some perverts, it's someone feeding their baby. Get over it.

mr_sassy_pantsss 12 years, 4 months ago

v of r: spare your breast drama, no one is reading it, listening to it or looking at your breasts.

mammaweeks3 12 years, 4 months ago

I have had 3 kids and have breastfeed them all. I have had to stuggle with this and can see why people can feel both ways about it. I did nurse in public, I am very lucky and am able to be descret and no one EVER saw any part of my breast. I was always respectable to others around me and myself and used a blanket. I also tried to prevent this by feeding my child prior to leaving home, but that did not always work. I think that it is a babies right to be fed no matter what setting they are in. I think that people should be respectful of this. Both the mother and the public need to make sure this is a normal happening. I do not think that it is right for someone to just open their shirt and nurse with half of them or all of them hanging. I have seen this and even though I feel that nursing is the best way to feed a baby I was very uncomfortable and I would never do this. I feel that their needs to be a happy middle ground to this. Stores need to have nursing rooms for moms to go. In a resturant it is different. It is very possible to sit at a table and nurse without anyone seeing a thing. I know that this is harder for women with larger breasts but they can even do it with some practice. I do think that a point is reached that this may not be possible and I reached that point with my own children. The little get a little curious as they get older and the blanket does not stay on as well. That is the point that you do excuse yourself and go to the bathroom or you do pump if you can. I think that is showing respect for others and yourself. Breastfeeding to me is a very beautiful part of mothering but it needs to be respected. I nursed my daughter till she was 2 and she was very respectful the entire time. She did not nurse in public at that age, it was not necessary but for a 2 week old you can not predict when they get hungry so you may wind up needing to. Breastfeeding needs to viewed as an essential part of the babies lives that eat this way not as a way to allow women to show off their goods. There are some women who do this and those are the ones that make it hard for those of us who don't.

Susan Mangan 12 years, 4 months ago

Mr Sassy -

I know no one is watching me because I didn't breastfeed. But, clearly, anyone uncomfortable or offended by it has some serious issues they need to resolve. Like I said, GET OVER IT.

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