Kyra: This week I celebrated my tattoo’s second birthday. I didn’t go out for ice cream or anything, but I did revel in the fact that I still don’t regret getting a silver dollar-sized doodle permanently etched into the skin on my hipbone.

It will come as no surprise that in the last several years more teens and young adults have been getting tattoos than did their parents or grandparents. According to a 2010 Pew Research Center report, 38 percent of people aged 18 to 29 have at least one tattoo and about half of those have between 2 and 5.

I’ll admit the adrenaline rush post-tattoo parlor is exhilarating. With it came a new, uncharacteristic desire for attention and affirmation of my decision. That was difficult to obtain discreetly, given my clothing usually covers the tattoo site. My inked friends must have felt the same way, as evidenced by their wearing tank tops or shorts at every opportunity to display their body art.

Dr. Wes Crenshaw and Kyra Haas

The growth in the ink industry does not appear to stem from a “look at me” mentality, however. Nor does it seem to root itself in rebellion. In fact, research suggests tattoos no longer serve as a means of discovering one’s identity, but rather of defining it.

In a series of studies–in 1998 and 2006–researchers from the University of Arkansas found that, while both groups used tattoos to express themselves, the latter did so to reaffirm that they actually had an identity. Study co-author Jeff Murray explained that rapidly changing culture created a “loss of personal anchors needed for identity,” and that tattoos’ popularity could be attributed to a need for stability, predictability and permanence.

I see some truth in that assertion. In 60 years, after our texts, Instagrams and Twitters have been lost to cyberspace, my friends and I can point to our wrinkled, faded tattoos as one of the few lasting expressions of who we are and where we came from.

Wes: Happy birthday, Kyra’s Tattoo. I hope you have many more fond and joyful days of revelry. You’re not alone. Many under-18s are now getting body art, and many others head to the parlor about twenty minutes after they reach the age of majority.

However, as any fan of Tattoo Nightmares can attest, not everyone ends up celebrating his or her ink. Many folks who beg for artistic salvation from Gus, Tommy, and Jasmine loved their art at first, only to break up with their one true love whose name emblazoned their butt, realize someone misspelled a critical phrase in the ribcage poem of their life, or learn too late that their idea or its execution was just super tacky. Worst of all, time brings with it new trends and innovations and washes away what once was cool. Can anyone say, “tramp stamp?”

For teens and young adults, the whole idea of permanency is an illusion. I say this not to condescend to youth but to lift up its greatest gift: the ability to see everything as fresh, open to critique, and changeable. That’s pretty much the opposite of everything a tattoo is about. Of course that opinion isn’t going to sway anyone and in general, the more parents attempt to pressure kids away from body art, the more quickly kids will rack up the tats. Nevertheless, here’s my list of criteria parents should urge their children consider:

• Watch at least ten episodes of Tattoo Nightmares. It’s an entertaining way to learn what not to do, and the art those three turnout is simply amazing. Any young person who wants permanent ink on their body needs to settle for nothing less.
• Go for the long plan. It’s hard at 18 to know what you’ll like at 35, but that has to be your goal.
• Avoid names. The only exception might be for your children — which usually isn’t relevant for the late teen crowd.
• Don’t go overboard. Kyra isn’t kidding about that feeling of exhilaration. Many folks with a lot of ink admit it can be addicting. Addiction isn’t a good reason to do anything.
• Consider cover-ups in the initial art. No matter how perfectly late teens follow my suggestions, there’s a darn good chance they’ll want a change someday. Some tattoos are easier to cover than others. Go for one of those.

Just as with a discussion of sex, parents who calmly sit with their kids and go down this list of ideas create an environment of authentic choice. And the more teens or YAs feel they are making a real choice, the more likely they are to make a good one.

Wes Crenshaw, Ph.D., ABPP, is author of “I Always Want to Be Where I’m Not: Successful Living with ADD & ADHD.” Learn about his writing and practice at dr-wes.com. Kyra Haas is a Free State High School senior who blogs at justfreakinghaasome.wordpress.com. Send your confidential 200-word question to ask@dr-wes.com. Double Take opinions and advice are not a substitute for psychological services.