Dr. Wes and Kyra look at gay marriage, and the history of Double Take on the subject. Dr. Wes: Double

Kyra: A recent article from The Onion satirized opposition to the inevitability of legalizing gay marriage by noting “Americans are standing by with bated breath while the justices decide whether to recognize same-sex couples immediately or in two or three years when public opinion has shifted even more overwhelmingly in favor of gay marriage.”

On June 26, 2015, it happened. The Supreme Court followed nearly two dozen other countries, including Canada and Mexico, and ruled that the Constitution guarantees a right to same-sex marriage under the 14th Amendment, exemplifying a growing acceptance of the LGBTQ community in the United States.

With 37 states and D.C. already having arrived there by various means, the momentum for this change had been building. Judging from the trending hashtag #LoveWins on Twitter and the new Gay Pride filter for profile pictures on Facebook, the response has been largely positive. A more scientific (Gallup) report showed Americans’ support for the LGBTQ rights at an all-time high of 60 percent.

Dr. Wes Crenshaw and Kyra Haas

On the morning of the 26th, President Obama — who took his own sweet time to reach a similar position — gave contemplative remarks on the decision, noting, “Our nation was founded on a bedrock principle that we are all created equal. The project of each generation is to bridge the meaning of those founding words with the realities of changing times.”

Indeed, times are changing faster than ever before. In his speech, Obama stated that progress often occurs in small increments, two steps forward and one step back, but the SCOTUS decision came as a “thunderbolt” of justice. For the LGBTQ community and its allies, this thunderbolt marks a giant leap forward, as well as a historic last week of Pride Month.

Wes: Double Take first ran in October 2004 when Kyra was just 7 years old. However, we didn’t write a column about gay teens until June 2006 when someone sent a letter about a friend who was cutting, in part due to parental conflict over her sexual identity. “That alone,” I wrote, “would consume an entire column, and at some point we’ll come back to that issue. For this week, we’ll just assume you are correct — the family is unhappy about your friend’s choice of romantic partners.”

We did come back to it in September 2006, but not very enthusiastically. Referencing the earlier column and focusing on the choice of dating partners, I wrote, “Arguing about sexual values only increases mutual contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. While issues of pregnancy, disease, exploitation, and sexual ethics must be discussed, other issues are nearly irreconcilable. Among them is the question of who one chooses to love.” While I still wrestle with the adequacy of that answer for families at this crossroad, it certainly described what our nation has gone through hence and more successfully than I could then imagine.

I’m embarrassed to say that we did not return again to the issue of sexual identity until October 2008, when we responded to a letter from a parent whose daughter had just come out. The mother felt they should be supportive; the father wanted the girl to “get help,” hoping she might go straight. Kelly Kelin wrote wisely, “Don’t create a barrier and shut her out of your lives…You can either choose to lose a daughter who may grow to resent you or you may create a strong everlasting, loving relationship.”

In July 2009, Kelly and I responded to the most difficult letter I’ve ever received: a teen who had not yet told her dating partner that she was transgender. We advised that she was not acting ethically in keeping this a secret, could be in some danger if found out, and should exit the relationship. It was an uncomfortable column.

The watershed moment for our examination of GBLTQ issues came in early July 2010 when I wrote a column to honor former co-author Marissa Ballard and Arna Hemenway’s beautiful and heartfelt wedding ceremony, which I’d attended the prior Saturday. For her side of the piece, Samantha Schwartz described a nuptials that had similarly meant a lot to her — with a twist. She wrote, “My godparents are the greatest example of a loving relationship I’ve had the honor to witness. They enjoy each other’s company every day; my sister says they always seem to be on their honeymoon. They were together over 15 years before their wedding day. It came during the small window of time in which gay marriage was legal in California. It’s astonishing to me that a couple of this caliber could not be married in most states; they have a better marriage than 95 percent of the couples I know. I think everyone has something to learn about love from Jan and Ranae.”

I worried at first that Samantha had gone too far in favoring gay marriage at a time when us older folks still hedged. But the exquisiteness and honesty of her work showed through, and I decided instead to edit the column just slightly so the surprise only came out in the final sentences. Sam made the ultimate statement of what marriage is really about — and it has nothing to do with sexual or gender identity. Five years later, almost to the day, the Supreme Court agreed.

Double Take has covered a period of cultural change so substantial that it defies superlatives. This week as a nation we have taken a firm step into a more just future for GBLTQ people. Some like it. Some don’t. But history will show that we have all arrived one degree freer as a society than we were a week ago.

Wes Crenshaw, Ph.D., ABPP, is author of “I Always Want to Be Where I’m Not: Successful Living with ADD & ADHD.” Learn about his writing and practice at dr-wes.com. Kyra Haas is a Free State High School senior who blogs at justfreakinghaasome.wordpress.com. Send your confidential 200-word question to ask@dr-wes.com. Double Take opinions and advice are not a substitute for psychological services.