Self channels Wooden, Carson

Kansas head coach Bill Self has words for a game official after a foul was called against Brady Morningstar during the first half, Friday, Nov. 12, 2010 at Allen Fieldhouse.

On his best days, Kansas University basketball coach Bill Self’s postgame news conferences are something of a cross between John Wooden doling out basketball wisdom and Johnny Carson kicking back and controlling the room with snappy one-liners.

All that’s missing are Wooden’s whistle hanging around the coach’s neck and Sammy Davis Jr. laughing and slapping his knee sitting next to the talk-show host.

Through it all, Self’s message seldom varies, forever hitting the note that his team might have looked impressive at times, but it sure has a great deal of room for improvement.

After Kansas ran Longwood out of Allen Fieldhouse, 113-75, in Friday night’s season-opener, Self complimented several players, but did so in a fashion that would keep their heads from swelling in anticipation of a far tougher game Monday night, against Valparaiso University.

After praising guard Tyshawn Taylor’s play, the coach said, “He’s going to turn it over some, that’s Tyshawn, but he doesn’t need to get ripped in the backcourt because he’s just careless.”

Not many coaches in this day of intense scrutiny speak that loosely.

Kansas scored 19 fast-break points, Longwood zero.

Sure, Kansas is a lot faster than it had been the past two seasons, but Self was quick to put the numbers in perspective. Longwood isn’t a very long team, so it has to crash the offensive boards.

“You can be really fast, but if the other team sends three back, you’re not going to get as many transition points,” he said. “So much depends on how the other team plays.”

Making sure this would never turn into a game, Kansas forced Longwood in 16 first-half turnovers.

“I thought we guarded pretty good in the first half,” Self understated. “The second half we didn’t, but that’s the way this team has been. That’s three teams in a row that shot 40 percent on us at home. That hasn’t happened in this building maybe since we’ve been here.”

When it was pointed out that the 113 points represented the most in any game Self has coached at Kansas, he was quick with a response.

“But we also gave up a lot of points too,” he said. “A team that had 27 at halftime, you shouldn’t let score 75. We’ve got to do better defensively.”

Surely, Markieff Morris did no wrong in compiling 14 points, 15 boards, five assists, four steals and two blocked shots, right?

“Statistically, yeah, but he let his man catch it too easy,” Self said.

Markieff’s twin, Marcus looked like a natural when he shifted to the small-forward spot for a long stretch. He scored 18 points and attempted just 10 field goals, making two of three from beyond the arc.

“Didn’t have a defensive rebound, so that’s not good,” Self said.

Ah, but Marcus had an explanation for that. He said he told Markieff before the game he expected him to have a huge game on the boards because he was going to block out and let Markieff clean up the boards.

“Those guys, they’ve got some answers now,” Self said. “I’m sure as soon as (Marcus) looked at the stat sheet he said, ‘I’m going to get my butt chewed about something, so this will be my way of covering it up.’ They’re something else. And they will talk about it tonight so they get their story straight by tomorrow.”

Later, it was time to get serious because Self wasn’t kidding when he said Valpo’s a good team. Veteran coach Homer Drew, father of Baylor coach Scott Drew, knows what he’s doing and has a talented pack of scorers this season.

“They’re good, and this isn’t coach-speak,” Self said. “They can shoot it. It’ll be a real hard game.”

Complacency won’t cut it against Valpo. The Crusaders will storm into town looking to break KU’s 60-game Allen Fieldhouse winning streak. They won’t play scared.