Beavis and What-head? List shows mindset of Class of 2014
Every year, Beloit College in Beloit, Wis., releases its Mindset List to give a snapshot of the world view of the incoming freshmen class. The list for the Class of 2014:
Most students entering college for the first time this fall — members of the Class of 2014 — were born in 1992. For these students, Benny Hill, Sam Kinison, Sam Walton, Burt Parks and Tony Perkins have always been dead.
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Few in the class know how to write in cursive.
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E-mail is just too slow, and they seldom if ever use snail mail.
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“Go west, young college grad,” has always implied “and don’t stop until you get to Asia and learn Chinese along the way.”
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Al Gore has always been animated.
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Los Angelinos have always been trying to get along.
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Buffy has always been meeting her obligations to hunt down Lothos and the other bloodsuckers at Hemery High.
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“Caramel macchiato” and “venti half-cafvanilla latte” have always been street corner lingo.
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With increasing numbers of ramps, Braille signs, and handicapped parking spaces, the world has always been trying harder to accommodate people with disabilities.
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Had it remained operational, the villainous computer HAL could be their college classmate this fall, but they have a better chance of running into Miley Cyrus’ folks on Parents’ Weekend.
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A quarter of the class has at least one immigrant parent, and the immigration debate is not a big priority unless it involves “real” aliens from another planet.
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John McEnroe has never played professional tennis.
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Clint Eastwood is better known as a sensitive director than as Dirty Harry.
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Parents and teachers feared that Beavis and Butt-head might be the voice of a lost generation.
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Dr. Jack Kevorkian has never been licensed to practice medicine.
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Colorful lapel ribbons have always been worn to indicate support for a cause.
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Korean cars have always been a staple on American highways.
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Trading Chocolate the Moose for Patti the Platypus helped build their Beanie Baby collection.
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Fergie is a pop singer, not a princess.
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They never twisted the coiled handset wire aimlessly around their wrists while chatting on the phone.
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DNA fingerprinting and maps of the human genome have always existed.
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Woody Allen, whose heart has wanted what it wanted, has always been with Soon-Yi Previn.
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Cross-burning has always been deemed protected speech.
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Leasing has always allowed the folks to upgrade their tastes in cars.
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“Cop Killer” by rapper Ice-T has never been available on a recording.
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Jay Leno and David Letterman have always been trading insults on opposing networks.
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Unless they found one in their grandparents’ closet, they have never seen a carousel of Kodachrome slides.
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Computers have never lacked a CD-ROM disk drive.
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They’ve never recognized that pointing to their wrists was a request for the time of day.
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Reggie Jackson has always been enshrined in Cooperstown.
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“Viewer Discretion” has always been an available warning on TV shows.
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The first computer they probably touched was an Apple II; it is now in a museum.
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Czechoslovakia has never existed.
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Secondhand smoke has always been an official carcinogen.
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“Assisted Living” has always been replacing nursing homes, while Hospice has always been an alternative to hospitals.
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Once they got through security, going to the airport has always resembled going to the mall.
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Adhesive strips have always been available in varying skin tones.
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Whatever their parents may have thought about the year they were born, Queen Elizabeth declared it an “Annus Horribilis.”
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Bud Selig has always been the Commissioner of Major League Baseball.
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Pizza jockeys from Domino’s have never killed themselves to get your pizza there in under 30 minutes.
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There have always been HIV-positive athletes in the Olympics.
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American companies have always done business in Vietnam.
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Potato has always ended in an “e” in New Jersey per vice presidential edict.
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Russians and Americans have always been living together in space.
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The dominance of television news by the three networks passed while they were still in their cribs.
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They have always had a chance to do community service with local and federal programs to earn money for college.
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Nirvana is on the classic oldies station.
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Children have always been trying to divorce their parents.
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Someone has always gotten married in space.
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While they were babbling in strollers, there was already a female Poet Laureate of the United States.
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Toothpaste tubes have always stood up on their caps.
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Food has always been irradiated.
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There have always been women priests in the Anglican Church.
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J.R. Ewing has always been dead and gone. Hasn’t he?
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The historic bridge at Mostar in Bosnia has always been a copy.
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Rock bands have always played at presidential inaugural parties.
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They may have assumed that parents’ complaints about Black Monday had to do with punk rockers from L.A., not Wall Street.
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A purple dinosaur has always supplanted Barney Google and Barney Fife.
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Beethoven has always been a dog.
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By the time their folks might have noticed Coca Cola’s new Tab Clear, it was gone.
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Wal-Mart has never sold handguns over the counter in the lower 48.
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Presidential appointees have always been required to be more precise about paying their nannies’ withholding tax, or else.
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Having hundreds of cable channels but nothing to watch has always been routine.
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Their parents’ favorite TV sitcoms have always been showing up as movies.
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The U.S, Canada, and Mexico have always agreed to trade freely.
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They first met Michelangelo when he was just a computer virus.
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Galileo is forgiven and welcome back into the Roman Catholic Church.
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Ruth Bader Ginsburg has always sat on the Supreme Court.
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They have never worried about a Russian missile strike on the U.S.
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The Post Office has always been going broke.
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The artist formerly known as Snoop Doggy Dogg has always been rapping.
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The nation has never approved of the job Congress is doing.
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One way or another, “It’s the economy, stupid” and always has been.
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Silicone-gel breast implants have always been regulated.
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They’ve always been able to blast off with the SyFy Channel.
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Honda has always been a major competitor on Memorial Day at Indianapolis.