Distinctive engagement rings, from left, include a Majesty amethyst ring and an Athena vintage-style semi-mount with an 18K pink and white gold filigree scroll band.

A FOREVER

Once upon a time, when a man proposed, he gave a woman a shiny solitaire diamond engagement ring. It was the standard. It’s probably what her friends had and she was eager to join the club.

Fast forward to 2007: It’s now the norm for a woman to influence what her engagement ring will look like – if not to pick it out herself, says Mary Moses Kinney, director of the Independent Jewelers Organization.

The result is bigger stones, nontraditional settings and some rings that forgo the diamond altogether.

The Diamond Trading Company, the sales and marketing arm of De Beers, recently interviewed 10,000 U.S. couples on their purchasing behavior for diamond gifts: Only 19 percent fit the conventional image of a man presenting a woman with a surprise diamond. Thirty percent of diamond purchases were by women called “assertives” – those unafraid of making their views known early. Many went so far as to buy the item, wrap it and hand their partner the receipt.

Over the years, brides have moved away from yellow gold, both for engagement and wedding bands, in favor of platinum, which they consider more wardrobe-friendly, says Theresa DiMasi, editor in chief of Brides.com. Men, she says, still tend to want gold.

The price of platinum, however, has shot up because of increased demand, and couples are again interested in gold – yellow, white and rose-tinted.

“Rose gold is pretty, new and trendy,” according to Brides’ Bratten. “It looks good on many skin tones.”

Many rings have micropave diamonds outlining the setting. That makes the center stone appear bigger and sparklier. “You get the look of the big ring without piling on too much additional cost,” she says.

Another trend is three-stone rings, with pink or blue sapphires – or, less often, emeralds or rubies – flanking the center diamond. Colored diamonds are considered chic, but are also expensive, more for the rich and famous, Bratten says.

In the quest to personalize engagement rings, even semiprecious stones are being used.

“There is no right or wrong ring,” says Moses Kinney. “It’s like a favorite color. If one woman likes a princess cut, the next will want an emerald cut.”