Q: I have a young woman who works for me who wears tight and revealing clothes. I don’t want to be a jerk about it and start making lists of rules, but when I’ve talked about “professional appearance,” she hasn’t taken the hint. Help! – Al

A: Dale: Ah, Al, I like what you say about lists of rules: After all, policies don’t solve problems; they create new ones. Start making rules, and you’ll end up being mocked as the “fashion police.”

J.T.: There are outfits that are such a distraction that you can’t help but stare; however, when it comes time to have a discussion of appropriate attire, many managers decide it’s easier to just “look the other way.” Workplace appearance does not, however, have to be a difficult or delicate discussion. All you have to do is make the conversation about the person’s career, not just about clothes. Don’t say, “You look like a hooker”; instead say, “I think you have a great future here, and I want you to be conscious of how you are perceived by the public and by co-workers.”

Dale: Good idea. Still, if you’re like me, Al, it won’t be easy to talk to a young woman about appearances; you simply don’t have the vocabulary, or even mutual role models to turn to.

However, if you’re lucky, you have someone on staff who does. I worked in one consulting firm where a gracious VP became a “godmother” to the younger women. She would take them shopping, even go for makeovers.

The results were astounding and were accomplished with sisterly camaraderie instead of rules.

J.T.: I’ll bet that “godmother” succeeded by making it clear that it was the employee’s choice: Either improve her chances of getting ahead by changing her attire, or else find a place where the culture fits her clothes.

You can accomplish the same thing if you let your young employee know that your concern is for her future, not just your distraction.