Relationships go beyond spiritual labels

The Rev. Josh Longbottom, associate pastor, Plymouth Congregational Church, 925 Vt.:

Every person’s spiritual path is unique, even if it falls under the same religious label as someone else’s. There are so many versions of Christianity that the label itself has nothing to do with whether I date someone or not.

There is something deeper than the rhetoric of religion that people have to be basically in agreement on to make a relationship work. The spiritual journey is not static either. What people say they are one day may not be what they say they are the next.

I honestly worry about setting up boundaries based on what my partner can believe. Those boundaries limit what we safely can express to one another. In my mind, both parties have to be free and safe to express the feelings in their heart about who God is without being in fear of losing their loved one.

To be smart, however, I would think about how my potential partner would react to my specific Christian commitments. How is she going to feel about a half-vegetarian lifestyle, limited air conditioning and driving, significant giving of time and money to the church, and an active political life?

For me, the person must revere sacredness, encounter mystery and holiness, and be committed to creating a better world. These qualities are important to me because of my experiences with Christianity, but another person might develop those same qualities through different experiences.

– Send e-mail to Josh Longbottom at joshlongbottom@sunflower.com.

Potential partner should discern God’s will

Cloyce Thornton, pastor, Lawrence Evangelical Friends Church, 1601 N.H.:

What are some of the subjects, when meeting new friends, that we should probably not converse about – at least, not right away? There are many, but let me challenge you with one: religion. Brother, what a subject.

Concerning the question at hand, about those of us who may have sons or daughters seriously thinking about marrying into another faith.

Do they believe in God the father, God the son and God the holy ghost? One writer said, “Give me your interpretation of sin, and you will have given me your understanding of God.” He is a forgiving God.

Do they believe God’s word? “Knowing this first, that no prophesy of the Scripture is of any private interpretation. For the prophesy came not in old time by the will of man, but holy men of God spoke as they were moved by the holy ghost” (II Peter 1:20-21).

What spiritual goals do these people have for your son or daughter or prospective grandchildren? In other words, are they capable to discern God’s will? One of my teachers in college made the statement, “You can always determine false doctrine by first knowing what is right.”

It’s always so simple, so easy to believe we are the spiritual people, the right people. Want favor with God? Humble yourselves before him and acknowledge we are not always the ones at the top of the hill.

– Send e-mail to Cloyce Thornton at cloycet@aol.com.