Dear Kate & Dale: I retired from the military, where I had 20 years of management experience, plus I have a B.S. in management of human resources. I’ve applied for jobs in HR, but was told that I have no civilian experience. – Melissa

Kate: I turned for advice to Dr. Harvey Kaplan, who works with The Five O’Clock Club in Washington, D.C. Kaplan has worked with hundreds of people leaving the military, and here’s his response: “A majority of both officers and non-commissioned officers choose to do work that is different from their military specialties. They generally have been successful because they have traits which are highly valued outside of the military: an ability to work under pressure, meet deadlines, serve as team member as well as a team leader, and so on. When marketing yourself, highlight these strengths, as well as your transferable skills and specific accomplishments.” Further, Kaplan urges you to make use of the networking opportunities you have, especially via military associations.

Dale: The key phrase is “marketing yourself.” Admiration for the military is high, but, as you’ve experienced, Melissa, this doesn’t mean you come in pre-sold. People will believe that you possess admirable traits, but they don’t have the time to guide you in a transition to the corporate culture. You have come to them pre-transitioned. Besides military associations, get active in professional associations and your alumni group. When you go to a job interview, you can’t just talk about what you did in the military; you need to be able to say things like, “They have an interesting program at Proctor & Gamble that might help you …” Doing so, you don’t just assure them that you’ll learn to speak their language; you’re speaking it.

¢ Dear Kate & Dale: One day on my way to work, I decided I just couldn’t take it any longer. So I quit. I just couldn’t take the dehumanizing management anymore. I truly feel that the Lord has a plan for my life, and that is to open my own health and fitness center. I’d appreciate your thoughts. – Aaron

Kate: It’s great to have a goal, especially if it’s divinely inspired. The only part that gives me pause is when you say you couldn’t stand the way management treated you and so you quit. You need a job that furthers your goal to open your own company, whether you like it or not. You’re just there to make money while you get your business going. I once worked for a woman who made me kiss her on the cheek goodnight every evening before I left work – and I was in my 40s! She was horrible to work for, but I stayed seven years because I was starting my business on the side. Every time she did something hurtful or degrading, I used it to motivate myself to get my business going.

Dale: The minister T.D. Jakes wrote an intriguing booklet called “The 10 Commandments of Working in a Hostile Environment.” He says, “God is not as interested in your comfort as He is in your purpose.” Jakes goes on to ask, “Can you feel the elevation in your spirit as you shift your focus from victimization to one of being chosen?” If so, Aaron, then you’ll be doubly motivated: to learn from the mistakes of your employer and to bring your goal into alignment with a higher purpose. All that remains is to figure out where to put that energy. The best use of it would be to find a way to ease into your new career, even while keeping your old one.

Kate: Yes, plan on a couple of years working for someone else, but meanwhile – get started! Perhaps you could begin by being a personal trainer evenings and weekends, going to people’s homes. Perhaps you could work part time in a fitness center.

Dale: Working on two careers – old and new – will be exhausting, but you’ll be building your reputation, your capital and your character, and that’s enough to make the heavens smile on your new business.