Carmin Ross’ parents know their daughter is gone, but they’re hoping she won’t be forgotten.

“She was the big sister that everybody looked up to,” Carmin’s mother, Judi Ross, said Wednesday from her home in Lapel, Ind. “She thought the best of people, had a sunny disposition and was always laughing, always smiling.”

But it’s hard to sum up her daughter’s life in just a few words, Judi Ross said. She and her husband, Danny, hope by talking about Carmin, the oldest of their four daughters, the case of the unsolved homicide late last year in rural Douglas County will remain alive.

“We would hope that anyone who had any knowledge would try to make it known to the Douglas County sheriff’s department because that’s the only way this is going to have any resolution,” Judi Ross said.

Sheriff’s detectives agree.

“It’s vital from our point of view to keep this case alive,” Lt. Ken Massey said, “to not give the impression to anyone — the public or the family — that we’ve lost focus or lost interest in this case, because that’s just not the case. It is our main focus and will continue to be.”

Carmin Ross’ body was found Nov. 14 inside a home she rented with her then-4-year-old daughter, Ciara, near Lakeview Lake, northwest of Lawrence. Sheriff’s officials have not released details of the death.

Nearly 11 weeks since the discovery, Judi Ross has consented to an interview about her daughter, a 40-year-old self-employed mediator who had lived outside of Lawrence only since August 2003. In agreeing to the interview, Judi Ross said she would not comment on details of the investigation, her granddaughter or her former son-in-law — whom authorities have said was not a suspect.

Ross said the discovery of her daughter’s body came just eight days before she was to be married. It was Carmin’s fiance, Larry Lima, who contacted law enforcement when he was unable to reach her.

“They actually were supposed to have already been married,” Ross said. “She had flown out to San Diego the week of the wildfires, and they were going to get married. But all the courthouses were closed because of the fires, otherwise he probably would have been in Lawrence.”

Victim’s mother awaiting ‘resolution’

Ross describes her daughter as someone who wouldn’t hurt anyone or anything, not even an ant crawling across her kitchen floor. The fact that Carmin was such a nonviolent person makes it all the more difficult for her family to cope with her killing.

“It’s not day-by-day, it’s minute-by-minute,” Ross said. “You just have to go on with your daily life. Life goes on and you go on, but 100 percent of the time you’ve got this in the back of your mind — or the front of your mind. It’s the only thing you think about.”

Investigation ongoing

For the past 2 1/2 months, the unsolved homicide has also been on the mind of Douglas County Sheriff Rick Trapp.

“It’s just a terrible tragedy, and we want to bring some closure on it,” Trapp said.

Three detectives and one deputy still are assigned to the homicide investigation on a full-time basis. They’ve followed up on close to 200 leads since the investigation began, Trapp said.

“We’re recontacting people, we’re reviewing things and we’re still following leads, working just as intensely day in and day out on this matter,” Trapp said.

The Sheriff’s Office is awaiting the results of forensic tests performed on evidence collected from the crime scene, including DNA samples. Those tests are being conducted by the KBI lab and the Kansas City, Mo., Police Department’s crime lab.

“It’s not like a TV crime scene show,” Trapp said. “They have a lot of material to go over. They have a lot of work to do. It’s a very time-consuming and meticulous job that they do.”

That evidence could shed new light on the investigation.

“We’re hopeful that once the evidence comes back it will — for lack of a better term — provide some concrete, some substance to the investigation at this point,” Massey said.

The Rosses hope so, too.

“We are waiting with bated breath for some kind of an arrest,” Judi Ross said.

Optimistic for arrest

She praised the way the Sheriff’s Office has handled her daughter’s case.

“They’ve been nothing but kind. They’ve been nothing but considerate. They’ve told us enough of what they’re doing that we feel very confident and comfortable, and I’ll tell you, they have a heart as big as gold.”

Judi Ross said the department’s track record made her optimistic. The Douglas County Sheriff’s Office has only one other unsolved homicide — the 1989 slaying of 37-year-old Nilsa Sanchez. Her badly decomposed body was found Sept. 1, 1989, in a culvert south of Stull.

Detectives were never able to crack the case.

“They’re never forgotten,” Trapp said of unsolved murders.

This is another he won’t forget.

“It’s important to all of us. It’s certainly important to me,” Trapp said. “We certainly feel their pain. The loss of a child — there is really no greater pain, and I can assure you I’m personally dedicated to this matter.”