Santa Fe, N.M. ? Ruthie Berman and Connie Kurtz want a retirement community they can afford, in a place they like, with assisted living if they should need it.

But the two grandmothers want more: a community of like-minded people with whom they feel safe and supported as a lesbian couple.

“I don’t want to have to explain being out of the closet,” Berman said.

They have turned to RainbowVision Properties, which plans to break ground by the spring on a complex for the “gay and gray” that will offer condominiums for sale and independent-living and assisted-living apartments for rent.

“If I go to RainbowVision and I walk through that door, I’m walking through to sisters and brothers,” Berman said.

With so much more in common than just their ages — Berman is 69, Kurtz 67 — Kurtz says she envisions residents dispensing with lengthy introductions and getting right down to business: “Who plays cards? Who’s got the checkers?”

The complex, which could open in 2005, will include a dining room, community rooms, studios for artists and a rooftop cafe.

Joy Silver, RainbowVision’s president, has dreamed for decades about a retirement community for gays and lesbians.

She found gay-friendly Santa Fe the perfect spot. It is second only to San Francisco in the percentage of households with same-sex couples, according to the 2000 Census.

“We’re in the right place at the right time,” she said.

A handful of retirement communities in the United States market themselves to gays and lesbians, but they don’t offer such a wide range of options, according to Silver. The Santa Fe community will include assisted-living services, including medication management. A registered nurse will be on the premises around the clock.

“As far as we are aware, it is the first of its kind,” said Terry Kaelber, executive director of Senior Action in a Gay Environment, a social services and advocacy organization in New York City.

Kaelber said conservative estimates show there are more than 3 million gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender residents over age 60 in the United States. But even so, “our community has been slow to admit that we age,” he said.

Many older members of the gay community have a fear of mainstream service providers and are reluctant to turn to them for help. They grew up at a time “when every part of society said that you were less than those around you,” Kaelber said. “The medical community literally branded us as being mentally ill.”

Now that they’re older and more vulnerable, gay seniors fear that they’ll encounter that same bigotry, and many go back into the closet, Kaelber said.

The notion of a welcoming environment that would make the tough job of aging easier is so appealing that Berman and Kurtz not only got on the waiting list for RainbowVision, they invested in the project.

Ninety-one-year-old Hilda Rush, who describes herself as “Santa Fe’s oldest living lesbian,” has her cherished independence and the health to enjoy it. She lives alone, goes to her book and bridge clubs, delivers food to the homebound and works out at the gym twice a week.

She, too, has reserved a spot in the RainbowVision community, where a spa and fitness center are planned. “I’m just hoping it materializes in my lifetime,” Rush said.

RainbowVision Santa Fe’s $28 million project will have 146 units. With barely any marketing, 45 people already have signed up.