On “The West Wing” (8 p.m., NBC), a book by disgraced former Vice President Hoynes (Tim Matheson) promises to become a publicity disaster as President Bartlet is rudely reminded of why he took Hoynes, a former rival, under his wing.

This plot reminds me of one of my favorite sayings attributed to President Lyndon Johnson. Warning: his aphorisms tended to be on the “earthy” side. When asked about placating the dangerous J. Edgar Hoover, Johnson responded, “I’d rather have him inside the tent pissing out than outside the tent pissing in!”

Like many of Johnson’s quotations, this statement was crude but true. While I would hate to see “The West Wing” turn into “The Sopranos,” sometimes I wish there was at least one character that spoke like Lyndon Johnson and not a civics or Latin scholar. I know I’m supposed to be inspired by Bartlet’s habit of launching into lofty oratory during the most casual conversations, but I’ve come to find it predictable and affected.

• Last week on “The Bachelorette” (8 p.m., ABC), we wasted an hour of our lives waiting for the obvious. Chad, unemployed, living with Mom and too nervous to kiss Meredith, got the boot. Now we’re asked to devote two hours to the finale as Miss M chooses between Ian, the very reserved preppy New Yorker, and Matthew, the taciturn Texan.

But first, Meredith must take the boys back home to meet the folks. During the last “Bachelor,” Bob Guiney took one look at the “Twin Peaks” atmosphere in the moody Oregonian’s home and hightailed it for the sunnier shores of Kelly Jo’s Michigan beach house.

Maybe I’ll spend the first hour and 45 minutes defrosting my freezer and rearranging my sock drawer, and tune in just in time for the 50th rendition of “the most dramatic rose ceremony ever!”

Tonight’s other highlights

• Our feathered friends turn testy in director Alfred Hitchcock’s 1963 shocker “The Birds” (7 p.m., Turner Classic Movies).
• The voters are heard on “American Idol” (7:30 p.m., Fox).
• McCoy loses a key witness on “Law & Order” (9 p.m., NBC).

Late night

Diane Sawyer and Ben MacKenzie appear on “Late Show with David Letterman” (10:35 p.m., CBS) … Jay Leno hosts Bill Paxton, Little J.J. and Three Days Grace on “The Tonight Show” (10:35 p.m., NBC).