This time of year, lots of us will relish playing Santa, the gift-bringer who makes somebody feel good. But stress out trying to make the holidays too perfect, and you could turn into Mrs. Claws, the uptight mom, or Rudolph the Red-Nosed Single, who parties too hard in an attempt to be merry.

Either way, the push for a picture-perfect holiday can leave you walkin’ in a whimper wonderland.

Experts’ advice? Take it easy on yourself.

“Don’t expect things to be perfect,” says research psychologist Jennifer Bruning Brown, who has studied holiday behavior for tickle.com, a pop psychology and social network online. “Remind yourself that the holiday images in the media are idyllic. They’re not real.”

Bruning Brown says that during the holidays you are more likely to:

• Feel tension and resentment because of a family get-together.
• Party too much — and regret it.
• Feel lonely or depressed.
• Have sex — whether in a risky holiday party tryst with a co-worker, or at home with your spouse.
• Fall in love — perhaps in the attempt to feel connected during an emotional time of year.

What can you do to prepare yourself for extreme emotions?

1. Don’t drink too much.

2. Don’t run yourself ragged trying to create a perfect holiday.

3. Leave your baggage at the door.

“Often people feel they must resolve unfinished family business. With the added stress of the holidays, it’s not a good time to try to repair all of these relationships,” Bruning Brown says. “Declare some kind of truce.”

Pat Hogan, a Charlotte, N.C., psychologist, also says we should accept our lives the way they are, rather than brooding if the holiday isn’t like what we see on TV.

“Not everyone is in a Norman Rockwell situation (or wants to be). When people try to force their families to fit someone else’s image, it’s a recipe for tension, resentment and failure,” Hogan says. “Rather than trying to make everything perfect, focus on appreciating the fact that they are together.”

Singles on their own for the holidays might cut loose, whoop it up and try to meet a holiday sweetheart. That’s a natural impulse, but you can’t expect to find a perfect love life or social life under the tree.

“It’s always risky to enter into relationships and situations impulsively,” Hogan says. “It’s good to examine motives ahead of time and look for healthier ways to fulfill them.”