Kansas City, Mo. ? Like a Venezuelan version of Don Zimmer, Ozzie Guillen says he will manage by the seat of his pants.

“I’m going to play with my gut feeling,” Guillen said to a horde of inquisitors after the White Sox’s ninth-inning meltdown Monday left him with an 0-1 record as a big-league manager.

Luckily for Guillen, his skin is as thick as alligator boots. He’s going to need it in his new line of work, especially without having the voice of reason, Joe Nossek, sitting beside him.

When Jerry Reinsdorf decided to endorse Ken Williams’ selection of the 40-year-old Guillen as the White Sox manager, he was counting on having Nossek beside him in the dugout.

But physical ailments forced Nossek to bow out in spring training, and Guillen selected Harold Baines — with about two weeks’ experience as a major-league coach — to serve as his bench coach.

There’s no telling if Kansas City’s six-run ninth inning would have played out the same if Nossek had been advising Guillen. But it would have been nice to find out.

The shocking 9-7 loss to the Royals on opening day — the result of majestic home runs by Mendy Lopez and Carlos Beltran off Damaso Marte — raises as many questions about the learning curve of an inexperienced coaching staff as the bullpen.

Art Kusyner is the only Sox coach who has been around, and he watches games out in the bullpen. Guillen and the five coaches who inhabit the dugout average 45 years of age and have only seven years’ experience as big-league coaches. That’s 21 fewer than trainer Herm Schneider.

Pitching coach Don Cooper, hitting coach Greg Walker and first-base coach Rafael Santana, all of whom were on Jerry Manuel’s staff, are solid.

Newcomers Joey Cora and Baines were intelligent players who know the game. But along with Guillen, they opened 2004 rolling snake-eyes. Well, that’s not exactly fair. Until the ninth, it was the Sox on a roll.

Sandy Alomar Jr., who got the start at catcher even though Miguel Olivo was 5-for-7 in his career against Kansas City starter Brian Anderson, hit a two-run homer and perfectly executed a hit-and-run. Paul Konerko had three hits and stole his first base since 2001.

Guillen’s enthusiasm clearly rubbed off on his team. Frank Thomas spent most of the afternoon on his feet, leaning against the dugout rail alongside Guillen, Baines and the other coaches.

But the good moves and high energy were wasted because Guillen was afraid to let Billy Koch face Matt Stairs.

Matt Stairs?

This isn’t as bad as the time Terry Bevington intentionally walked Tom Goodwin, but it’s close. Welcome to the manager’s fraternity, Ozzie.

“I’m going to get second-guessed good,” Guillen said.

Despite a standing-room-only crowd of 41,574 armed with the dreaded ThunderStix, Kauffman Stadium was dead when the bottom of the ninth inning arrived. The White Sox led 7-3 and the Royals didn’t look like the fighters who were unexpected contenders a year ago.

“That was probably the first time in my career I thought we had a game won in the ninth inning,” Thomas said. “They just didn’t look like they had it over there. They weren’t jubilant like they were last year. They were very, very jubilant last year. They didn’t look like it this time, but then it was like a switch flipped.”

And Guillen’s first day on his dream job turned into a nightmare.