Few things are certain, but you can bet that any show airing right after "Everybody Loves Raymond" will thrive. Terrible, annoying shows like "Yes Dear" and "Still Standing" have been lifted by the "Raymond" factor. So look for a fairly funny show like "Two and a Half Men" (8:30 p.m., CBS) to become a bona fide hit.
Charlie Sheen has the plush job of playing Charlie, a Sheen-like character who appears to make tons of money writing jingles, lives in a Malibu beach house, spends afternoons drinking margaritas by the pool and engages in plenty of meaningless sex.
His decadent bliss is interrupted by a late-night visit from his brother Alan (Jon Cryer), a nervous chiropractor with a penchant for making lists. To no one's surprise, Alan's wife has thrown him out. While Charlie resents Alan's whining intrusion, he grows to like the company of Jake (Angus T. Jones), his 10-year-old nephew.
The slick new drama "Las Vegas" (9 p.m., NBC) wastes little time in getting to the bedroom. We first meet casino surveillance expert Danny McCoy (Josh Duhamel) with a voracious young lady, Delinda (Molly Sims), who just happens to be the only daughter of McCoy's hotheaded boss, Big Ed Deline (James Caan). Since Big Ed knows and sees all, Danny's in for a rude awakening.
Tonight's other highlights
- Fox News Network correspondent Brit Hume interviews President Bush (7 p.m., Fox).
- Scheduled on "PrimeTime" (7 p.m., ABC): Quentin Tarantino; Will Smith; reality television.
- "Antiques Roadshow" (7 p.m., PBS) spends its second week in Cleveland, Ohio.
- Denver plays Oakland on "Monday Night Football" (8 p.m., ABC).
- Looking for fun, Debra invades Ray's golf sanctuary on the eighth season opener of "Everybody Loves Raymond" (8 p.m., CBS).
- Murder stalks the catwalk during fashion week on "CSI: Miami" (9 p.m., CBS).
Greg becomes a stern uncle on "Yes, Dear" (7 p.m., CBS) ... Oglevee moves in on "The Parkers" (7 p.m., UPN) ... Mary visits on "7th Heaven" (7 p.m.).
Teen-age negotiations on "Still Standing" (7:30 p.m., CBS) ... Shelly mulls intimacy on "Eve" (7:30 p.m. UPN).
Contestants imitate famous singers on "Performing As" (8 p.m., Fox) ... Joan shares secrets with Peaches on "Girlfriends" (8 p.m., UPN) ... A pregnant pause on "Half and Half" (8:30 p.m., UPN).
Dr. Phil McGraw, David Bowie and the new Miss America are on "Late Show with David Letterman" (10:35 p.m., CBS) ... Jay Leno welcomes more than 80 California gubernatorial candidates along with Robert Downey Jr., Tess Drake and the Blue Man Group on "The Tonight Show" (10:35 p.m., NBC).