‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all over the dial, only reruns are airing. Oh, that fills me with bile!

“George Lopez” (8 p.m., ABC) makes ancient jokes about being Hispanic. Could that be why his ratings are less than titanic?

And surely UPN can’t be raking in dough, with shows as unwatched as “Jake 2.0” (8 p.m., UPN).

But there are good things to watch if you’re in the mood for some looking, and not overly distracted by the feast you’ll be cooking.

Meg Ryan, John Cusack and Kelsey Grammer all lend their voices to the cartoon “Anastasia” (7 p.m., Fox.

And if it’s with spies in bikinis and gadgets you’re taken, there’s the James Bond marathon (beginning 8 a.m., Spike). Tonight, he’s stirred and not shaken!

In the mood to shed tears with the kiddies and wife? There’s the four-millionth airing of “It’s A Wonderful Life” (7 p.m., NBC).

But maybe, just maybe, and I don’t mean to be snide, Christmas is not something you find in TV Guide.

Put down that remote (yes, I know this is shocking!) and take a little time to hang up your stocking.

Listen for hooves on the roof and watch for wonder in a child’s eyes. That’s got to be better than a repeat “Star Trek: Enterprise” (7 p.m., UPN).

So before I get misty, let me offer my greetings and vision:

Merry Christmas to all! And turn off your darned television!

Tonight’s other highlights

• Scheduled on “60 Minutes II” (7 p.m., CBS): Five siblings attend Juilliard; a report on the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.
• “Biography” (7 p.m., A&E) profiles Santa Claus.
• Kathy Ireland plays Santa’s amnesiac daughter in the 2001 fantasy “Twice Upon a Christmas” (7 p.m., Hallmark).
• Judy Garland sings “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” in the 1944 Vincente Minnelli musical “Meet Me in St. Louis” (7 p.m., Turner Classic Movies).
• Bryan Cranston (“Malcolm in the Middle”) stars in “‘Twas the Night” (7 p.m., Disney).
• Holiday mishaps on “America’s Funniest Home Videos” (9 p.m., ABC).