There's always karma. Sometimes I forget that.
Last week I wrote a column about how cool I am because of acquiring the occasional press pass. This week, karma came around like a boomerang. I endured no-ticket hell at Allen Fieldhouse while trying to score three seats together for the Kansas/Oklahoma game from scalpers. If life was good last week, then this week someone stomped on my box of chocolates.
I'm still paying for the two biggest mistakes I made in college. One, never take Spanish at Kansas University. My chances of succeeding at Spanish 104 were about the same as my probability of swimming to Barcelona.
Second: Take care of your student ID.
Students, if you're reading this, I beg of you, hold on to that ID like it's a winning lottery ticket. I'll always remember the fateful day I pulled a pair of jeans out of the dryer and found my precious plastic card in pieces. It was as sad as the final scene in "Old Yeller." It happened toward the end of my college career and I was too busy partying to have it replaced before I graduated.
With that ID, I still could be getting into KU basketball games for $5 or less. But without it, I'm just another helpless fan, forced to pay at least $30 for general admission seats. I am undone.
On a related note, if anyone has a friend down at the student ID center, tell 'em I know someone who would make it worth their time to whip up a current card ... you know, for this friend of mine. That may sound extreme, but this friend also has considered re-enrolling just to get my I mean HIS student ID back.
Bad timing
Whenever I really must go to a Kansas basketball game, I first consort with friends that are capable of setting me up. I take care of these people (much love, Krista, Harold, Lester and Sarah). They know I'll buy them dinner or an evening's worth of Boulevard Wheat for their troubles. And besides, I'm great company.
But if my hook-ups can't come through, I must face the heartless scalpers outside Allen Fieldhouse. Going that route for the Kansas/Oklahoma game means my wallet is about to get a big boomer Sooner right where it counts. But there are several things you can do to make the experience less painful.
First, you need to decide just how much money you're willing to part with. Also, you need to realize what ticket situation you're in. If you need just one ticket, and you plan on squeezing into the student section with some buddies who are saving you a spot, you're in good shape. If you need two together, you're still looking pretty. But if you need three or four tickets in a row, well, buying scalped tickets is a little like playing poker. Four of a kind is a great hand, and the scalper that has four successive seats is going to make you pay for that winning combination. But it'll cost less for a pair, and even less for the random five of hearts.
The two biggest factors on cost of tickets are demand and timing. Kansas/Oklahoma tickets are going to obviously fetch more money than Kansas/Baylor tickets.
But timing is huge. As tip-off nears, prices drop. Scalpers never want to get stuck NOT selling tickets. In a matter of minutes, a ticket's value can go from big bucks to zero. For example, 40 minutes before Saturday's game, tickets were $125 each. By tip, a single ticket was going for $50, and probably $40 if you made the offer.
The problem about waiting is that if you take too long, you might get screwed. If you need four tickets together, you can't wait very long at all, because finding a quartet toward the end is almost impossible. But if you just need two, and don't mind milling around for a while, you can easily spend only half of what some other guy paid 30 minutes before you. I like to watch warm-ups, but not for $50.
We tried to work the timing just right on Saturday. We hung back, remained cool and acted like we didn't care. A scalper would stroll by and ask if we needed tickets. We'd glance his direction, as if we were only there to loiter.
"Tickets? Oh ... well, we were just admiring the James Naismith statue. But since you mention it, how much?"
Gulp, $100 a pop. Too rich for my blood.
My buddy offered $50 a ticket. Just when the scalper was about to forcefully refuse the lower bid, I grabbed a package of Mentos, the freshmaker, from my jacket and tossed one in my mouth. We were supposed to all share a laugh, and then receive the tickets from him in a charming manner. The scalper must not have been familiar with the pseudo-foreign commercials, because he frowned and briskly walked away.
My venture into scalper land this Saturday ended in failure. Because we needed three seats together, we never were quoted less than $100 a ticket. Before long, no scalper had three seats together. So we saved money and watched the game from the comfort of Set 'Em Up Jacks. It was a bummer, but think of it this way: At Set 'Em Up Jacks, $50 goes a lot farther, and you can even have a beer. And someone else will bring the nachos to you.
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