I love tabloids. Even before I was old enough to understand the meaning of the word "lurid," I felt a secret joy every time I read trashy news stories or scanned a snappy headline. Every night after dinner, my father would give me 32 cents and send me up to the corner store for a pack of Parliaments. These cigarette runs gave me a chance to sneak furtive glances at the covers of the The National Enquirer and other salacious weeklies.
Such guilty pleasures are celebrated on the two-hour special "Gossip: Tabloid Tales" (7 p.m., Sunday, A&E), a survey history of scandal sheets. Even if you know the history of yellow journalism from the past two centuries, "Gossip" is worth watching for the funny and outrageous quips from contemporary columnists including Liz Smith, Jeanette Walls, Richard Johnson and Mike Walker.
"Gossip" spends a lot of time on the rapid rise and fall of "Confidential" magazine in the 1950s. The popular glossy horrified Hollywood studios by exposing the kinds of scandals that moguls used to keep out of print. In its own way, "Confidential" mocked the studios by revealing their impotence. At its height (or is that depth?), "Confidential" had 4 million readers. Besieged by lawsuits, the magazine signed a nonaggression pact with Tinsel Town and began printing only positive stories. Its readership vanished.
The National Enquirer underwent a similar metamorphoses. In the early 1960s, it featured stories that appealed "to real sickos," says Jeanette Walls. Headlines like "I Cut Out Her Heart and Stomped on It" were the order of the day. But as distribution patterns changed and supermarket checkouts replaced newsstands, the folks at the Enquirer changed the paper to a more acceptable, celebrity-oriented rag.
"Gossip" does a less thorough job discussing the proliferation of tabloid values and journalistic techniques into contemporary media. We learn that Walter Winchell became the first gossip columnist to carry a gun. Doesn't that sound a lot like Geraldo Rivera's recent antics? As "Gossip" makes clear, celebrities, scandals and news stories may come and go, but tabloid journalism and popular fascination with sordid behavior never changes.
How angry did you get last weekend when you turned on "The Simpsons" only to catch "The Chamber"? Both depraved and annoying, "The Chamber" submits gullible contestants to unbearable heat, freezing cold, high winds and cold water as they try to answer questions about pop culture. That's right folks you get both torture and trivia!
"The Chamber" (8 p.m., Sunday, Fox) airs in lieu of "The X-Files."
Not to be outdone, ABC reconfigured its sorry schedule last week to offer "The Chair," a similarly dreadful spectacle. Former tennis brat John McEnroe badgers contestants, who sit in something that looks like a dentist's chair while their hearts are monitored. If their pulse exceeds a certain pace, they lose money. What's next, genetic profiling for dollars? And, in a perverse and provocative move, ABC suddenly yanked "Once and Again" and replaced it with "The Chair" last Friday. While I have not been a huge booster of the Sela Ward drama, I never like to see a smart show replaced with garbage. ABC has promised to air "Once and Again" on Monday nights, starting March 4.
"The American Experience" (8 p.m., Sunday, PBS) profiles Gutzon Borglum, the difficult and mercurial sculptor behind America's greatest roadside attraction, Mt. Rushmore.
Harrison Ford will receive the Cecil B. DeMille Award on "The 59th Annual Golden Globes Awards" (7 p.m., NBC). I liked this show better before it became so important, back when it was still a boozy, intimate gathering broadcast on cable.
Saturday's highlights
The Patriots host the Raiders in NFL playoff action (7 p.m., CBS).
Jon Voight, Eric Stoltz, Jennifer Lopez and Ice Cube star in the 1997 thriller "Anaconda" (7 p.m., NBC).
Julie Andrews won an Oscar for her role as the magical, musical nanny in the enchanting 1964 musical "Mary Poppins" (7 p.m., ABC).
Florence Henderson and John O'Hurley host "The Mrs. World Pageant" (7 p.m., Pax).
Frankie Muniz ("Malcolm in the Middle") hosts the seventh-season opener of "All That" (7 p.m., Nickelodeon).
Sean Maher and Mekhi Phifer star in the 2001 remake of the classic TV sports drama "Brian's Song" (7 p.m., Family).
Martial arts meet cinematic magic in the 2000 epic "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" (7 p.m., Starz), directed by Ang Lee.
The saga continues on "Babylon 5: The Legend of the Rangers" (8 p.m., Sci Fi).
Scott Hamilton, Tara Lipinski and Ekaterina Gordeeva skate on "The All Star Olympic Salute" (9 p.m., NBC).
Jack Black hosts "Saturday Night Live" (10:30 p.m., NBC), with musical guests The Strokes.
Sunday's highlights
Scheduled on "60 Minutes" (6 p.m., CBS): the ethics of torture; a female Air Force pilot challenges the Pentagon's dress code in Saudi Arabia; a profile of Gov. Jane Swift, R-Mass.
Glenn Close stars in the 1996 live-action adaptation of "101 Dalmatians" (6 p.m., ABC).
Surprise! Chuck Norris plays a tough guy in the 2002 drama "The President's Man: A Line in the Sand" (8 p.m., CBS).
"Pulp Fiction" director Quentin Tarantino begins a two-part cameo as a former agent who takes SD6 by storm on "Alias" (8 p.m., ABC).
The acclaimed 1977 miniseries "Roots" (8 p.m.) begins a week-long run on the Hallmark Channel.
Monty Python veteran Terry Jones hosts "Hidden History of Egypt and The Roman Empire" (8 p.m., Discovery).
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