Child support payments can be increased or decreased. Alimony payments may or may not be modified, dependent on how the agreement or court order is worded. Custody and visitation are always open to change depending on the best interests of the children. Property settlements are generally not subject to change … but can be discharged in bankruptcy.

No lawyer can prepare or negotiate the perfect agreement that will never be modified or will not be subject to two interpretations. And no court can issue the prefect decree. As long as people and circumstances change, there will be the necessity of modifying your documents.

While you can’t stop change, you may want to discuss with your lawyer alternatives that may help when change rears its ugly head:

Penalty clauses: If one of you brings an action that is determined by the court to be frivolous or results in less than what is asked for, the party who causes the litigation will be required to pay all expenses and attorneys’ fees.

Incentive clauses: Rather than go to court each time there is a financial change, negotiate a disclosure system whereby, for example, if a nonworking spouse begins working, rather than litigating how much alimony should be reduced, use a formula that reduces alimony by, for example, 25 cents for each dollar earned. Therefore, if alimony is set at $500 per month for an unemployed spouse who later begins working and earns $1000 per month, then alimony would be reduced by $250 per month.

Negotiate alternatives to litigation by which both of you can agree to take many of your disputes out of the court system. This doesn’t mean that you don’t need lawyers. It simply means that you can agree on the methods and procedures by which disputes can be resolved privately and in less time.

A mediation clause in your agreement can provide both of you with a nonadversarial atmosphere where you are in charge of what is happening to you. You and your ex may be able to construct your own agreement, one you both can live with. If not, since mediation is not binding, you can always choose to go to court.

An arbitration clause in your agreement can provide a binding way in which to avoid the court system when disputes arise that cannot be resolved through this type of dispute resolution.