Sure, they're cute. And they say the darnedest things. But whatever you do, don't leave those children alone in the kitchen come Thursday.
"I will get the turkey at a shop. It will weigh 59 pounds. I will paste it with some stuff. I will cook it in a square pan on the stove at 50 degrees for 59 hours. This is the way my Mom cooks it, and she is an expert at cooking. I will serve the turkey to the table."
That's Alicia Smith's plan for the family bird.
Alicia was one of many Hillcrest School first-graders who explained the finer points of "How to Cook a Turkey" as part of a class assignment.
The responses were kindly shared with the Journal-World by their teachers, Paula Barr, Gina Foster and Jan Green.
"I would go to Dillons and get a turkey because they are the most delicious. It will weigh about 50 pounds. I would place it on a plate so it wouldn't stick to the oven. Then I would set the oven at 50 degrees and let it cook for 10 to 15 minutes. Then I would make lemonade to go with it."
"I would go to the farm and get my turkey. It would be 13 pounds. It would cost $59. Next, scratch the skin off and then put it in the pot. Put the oven on hot and leave it in for 31 seconds."
"Take a turkey and you take the stomach and you cook it in the oven for 30 degrees. Then you put it in a big pan, and you put gravy on it. You cook it for 20 minutes, and then you let it cool. Take it out of the pan, and you put it on a tray. Then you put it on the table, and it's ready to eat!"
"You go to the store and buy a turkey that's already cooked. It costs $5."
"I would go to Dillons to get a turkey. It would weigh about 5 pounds. First I would take it out of the bag, then cut the head off. Then I would put it in the oven at 500 degrees and let it cook for an hour. After it's cooked, it's time to put stuffing in it. Now it's time to eat it."
"You can cook the turkey with another animal, and your family can eat it."
"I will go to Dillons to get a turkey. It would weigh 500 pounds. To cook it, I would put it in a pan and boil at 4 degrees for five minutes. After I serve the turkey, we will have ice cream for dessert."
"I am going to get my turkey at Wal-Mart. It will be 25 feet long, and it will cost $1. I will get all the bones out of it, of course, and then roast it. I will roast for five hours."
"I will go to the grocery store to get a turkey. It will weigh about 5 pounds. Then I will put stuffing in the turkey. I will cook it in the oven at 140 degrees for 10 minutes. I will also make stuffing and pumpkin pie to go with the turkey."
"I will get the turkey from the store. I would be too scared to shoot a turkey. It will weigh 2 pounds. I will cook the turkey in the oven at 300 degrees. I would cook it for 10 minutes. Then my family and my friends would eat this turkey."
"I will get the turkey on a farm. I will kill it. I will wash it. I will cook it on the stove at 500 degrees for 50 minutes. My family will eat the turkey."
"I will ride a school bus to a farm. I will put a turkey under my shirt. It will weigh 100 pounds. I will go to a school. I will take my turkey home. I will get out a frying pan. I will take off all the feathers. Then I will put him over the fire. The fire will be 1,000 degrees. It will cook for 10 minutes. Then I will put him in the frying pan for 5 minutes. I will get him out of the pan with a meat fork. I will put him on a plate and put him on the table. Then I will eat him!"
"I will get the turkey at the store. It will weigh about 10 pounds. I put it in the oven at 70 degrees for five hours. I tell my Mom that I'm not going to eat the turkey because I don't like meat. So the dog will eat it. I eat mashed potatoes and gravy!!"
"I will go to the China Mountains to get my turkey. I will kill the turkey standing 7 feet tall and 180 pounds. I'm going to walk all the way back to the United States. I will put the turkey in my oven at 300 degrees for 10 minutes. I will serve the turkey on the table. I will take the turkey to my cousin's house."
"I would go to Dillons to get a turkey. It will be as big as the room and weigh 152 pounds. The first thing we have to do is take the bones out of the turkey. Then I will take it to the kitchen, put it in a pan, and then place it in the oven. I will cook the turkey for 56 minutes at 25 degrees. I will also serve mashed potatoes and apples."
"My dad and I went and got some arrows, and we shot a turkey. It was a medium turkey and weighed about as much as Sam. Then I would put it in hot water and let it set so it can cook. The water would be so HOT. I will cook it for 88 minutes. Then I will eat it all up."
"I will get the turkey at the store. It will weigh 6 pounds. I will cook it on the stove at 10 degrees for 30 minutes. I will cut it to little pieces and put it on the table."
"I will get my turkey in the forest. I will catch it by the neck. It will weigh 18 pounds. I will take the turkey home, chop him up to get all the bones out, stuff him and then cook him. I will cook him in a pan on the stove at 11 degrees for 18 days. People in my family will just come to the stove and get some turkey."
"I will get the turkey at the grocery store. It will weigh 40 pounds. I will put salt and pepper on it. I will put it in a pan. I will cook it in the oven at 100 degrees for 20 minutes. Now we've just got to eat it!"
"I will get my turkey from Hy-Vee. It will be a large turkey and weigh about as much as Mrs. Barr. First I will put gloves on his wings and then place it in the oven. I will cook for two hours at 50 degrees. To go with the turkey, I will serve raspberry jam jelly and bread, and mashed potatoes and gravy. Then I will gobble it all up."
"I will get the turkey at a barn. It will weigh 100 pounds. I will kill it, drain out its blood and cut off its head. I will chop off the turkey's legs. I will take out its heart, liver, and brain. I will cook my turkey on a grill at 500 degrees for five hours. I will serve the turkey on a table. My family will eat the turkey."