"See Spot Run" may have taken its title from children's books, but its gross-out humor and mob-related subplot make it lousy fare for children.
Because of the collaborative nature of the screenwriting in this movie, it's hard to tell which of the credited scribes (including Stuart Gibbs, Craig Title, Dan Baron and George Gallo of "Midnight Run") is to blame. Nonetheless, not one of them, including TV-trained director John Whitesell, has the remotest idea of what type of film is being made or who will watch it.
David Arquette, left, plays a postal worker who must contend with a fugitive dog while baby-sitting his neighbor's kid (Angus Jones) in "See Spot Run."
The flick begins with the FBI busting mafia don Sonny Talia (Paul Sorvino). The arrest is especially odious for Sonny because the primary fed is a dog named Agent 11. Not only has the pooch discovered his drug stash, but he subdues Sonny by biting off one of his testicles. No, we mercifully don't get to see the gore, but the scene is needlessly sadistic and vulgar.
The film shifts focus to Gordon (David Arquette), a bumbling mail carrier. When he isn't breakdancing (News flash! The '80s are over!) or palling around with his stereotypical black friend Benny (Anthony Anderson), he's coming up with elaborate ways to confront his worst enemies: dogs. Armed with a Super Soaker and a slingshot loaded with meat, Gordon risks life and limb to get past the fierce mongrels.
While Gordon is dodging the beasts, Sonny orders a hit on Agent 11. True to form, the sly dog manages to escape and hide out in Gordon's truck. Gordon's life is already more complicated because he's forced to baby-sit his neighbor's dog-loving son James (a cute but wooden Angus T. Jones). The lad insists on keeping Agent 11, inadvertently making both Gordon and the lad potential targets for Sonny's thugs.
All of these elements combine awkwardly. As it progresses, "See Spot Run" plays like three separate mediocre movies pasted together as some sort of multimedia experiment. It's the closest that one can come to channel surfing in a theater.
Rating: 1/2
(PG)
Of course, none of the individual plot strands work. The mob story is anemic and phony (no real mobster would have so much trouble killing a hound) while the comedy has a mean-spiritedness that seems more at home in "Hannibal." In addition to Sorvino's numerous indignities, viewers are treated to a dog being thrown through a window, Arquette wallowing in excrement and explosive flatulence. A viewer begins to feel sorry for the characters when mud splatters on them, rather than amused.
Perhaps if "See Spot Run" had a single moment of sincerity, these lapses would be excused. No such luck. With the exception of Michael Clarke Duncan ("The Green Mile") as Agent 11's obsessive trainer, and Arquette, the performers look as if they'd rather be elsewhere. In Arquette's case, this is not a complement. His facial contortions get tiresome quickly. He's a capable supporting player, but lacks the timing or inventiveness to be a decent comic lead. During the scenes where he's supposed to bond with Jones, John Debney's sickeningly sweet music blares as if to cover for the unconvincing performances of the leads. Even the dog looks bored.
Because it fails on so many levels, one wonders why "See Spot Run" wasn't put to sleep during development. The movie makes one long for the subtlety and wit of "K-9" or "Air Bud."
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