Archive for Wednesday, February 7, 2001

Snoring mars many marriages, but help is available

February 7, 2001


Dear Ann: My husband is a heavy snorer. His snoring is bad enough, but the real problem is his attitude. When his snoring keeps me awake, I go quietly into the spare bedroom to sleep. Unfortunately, when he wakes up during the night and discovers my absence, he comes into the spare room in a rage and demands to know why I left. This is terribly upsetting to me, and it happens almost every night.

When I try to talk to him about his unreasonable behavior, he acts insulted. I can't understand why he becomes so upset. After all, I'm the one who has to leave my bed in the middle of the night to get some rest. I can't figure out why he is so determined to have me next to him, knowing I cannot sleep when he snores.

If you print this, I will show it to him. Please give me some support. I need it. T.B. in Kentucky

Dear Kentucky: Your husband has some deep-seated insecurities that probably go back to his childhood. When he discovers upon awakening during the night that you have left him, he feels abandoned and resentful.

I can tell you that, according to my mail, snoring has caused almost as many divorces as adultery. But there is something that can be done about it. For most men, a simple surgical procedure can put an end to the snoring. It requires no hospitalization and is virtually risk-free. For those who cannot have the surgery, there are other techniques available. Here's one more on sleep deprivation:

Dear Ann: I have a solution for that man in Woodland Hills, Calif., whose neighbor owned a rooster that woke him up every morning. It drove him crazy.

Roosters cannot crow unless they are standing up. He should ask his neighbor to put the noisy rooster in a low box or cage at night. The rooster will snuggle down quite comfortably until his owner gets up and gives him "standing room." When he is let out of the box or cage, he will stand, stretch, and greet the day with his customary raucous salute. Happy Snoring From Bainbridge Island, Wash.

Dear Bainbridge: Thank you for an ideal and humane solution to the crowing problem. (Some readers suggested chicken soup.) I hope the owner of that foul fowl sees your letter and follows up on your solution. And a happy cock-a-doodle-do to him and his neighbors.

Dear Ann: This is for "Toni in Texas," whose father brings what she describes as "useless junk" for her young son to play with.

When I was a youngster, my grandfather used to bring me rusty bicycles, old rope and broken toys he found in the junkyard. He grew up during the Depression and considered those things appropriate presents. So did I. I treasured the time we spent together, fixing those old toys, scraping the rust off the bicycles and finding uses for the old rope. I learned a lot from my grandpa.

Please tell "Toni" that her father is giving her son these things because he loves him, and someday, the boy will have a great many happy memories of the time spent with Grandpa. Cassie in Ronkonkoma, N.Y.

Dear Cassie: Thank you for a letter that demonstrates the real value of a gift. It doesn't matter how much it costs or where it came from. Your grandfather's "junk" provided the perfect opportunity for the two of you to spend some quality time together, and it left you with a lifetime of cherished memories. I hope other parents and grandparents can learn from your experience.

Gem of the Day (sent in by Donna in Mission Hills, Calif.): Sign in a dentist's office: Be true to your teeth, and they will never be false to you.

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