Archive for Sunday, April 11, 1999


April 11, 1999


Some of my rambling observations, a little about politics, and movies, and sports, and TV ads, and great minds, and other matters:

We passed up the Academy awards, but I do wish I had seen Whoopi dressed up like Queen Elizabeth. At one time I'd have sat enthralled at the big show. Now it's a celebrity parade, marked this year by the presence of Monica the celebrity. If these people filled out application forms would they write "celebrity" alongside "occupation"? "

Were movie stars (and sports stars) always like this? Joe DiMaggio, no. Cagney and Tracy, no. Hepburn, no. We had no Academy party. I think we watched sports. "

I haven't seen a theatrical movie since "Titanic." We wanted to see "Saving Private Ryan" but the first show was at dinner time and the second show was at bedtime. Don't want to see "Life Is Beautiful." I'll wait for the sequel, set in a refugee camp in Macedonia.

(If I want to laugh about the Nazis I'll tune in "Hogan's Heroes" on rerun.)

Sports: At our house we think Jacque Vaughn should ask to be traded. The Jazz almost never use him, even when Stockton is on the bench. "

We need help in understanding TV commercials. Not until the end do we guess what's being advertised. A kid plays his instrument in high grass, gets into a car. Car ad. When it's black-and-white and almost pornographic we know it's for a perfume or Calvin Klein. Victoria Secret ads wake me up. Conseco, Geico, Xerox ads are the pits. "

Time magazine gave us an issue about the century's greatest minds. Wasn't Mme. Curie in this century? Rachel Carson the only woman? I'd vote for whoever invented air conditioning. Greatest invention? I'd vote for penicillin. "

Looks as though some folks are trying to make Lawrence the Dayton, Tenn., of our time with all the flap about evolution and "creationism." "

May I recommend the splendid books of the late Michael Shaara and his son Jeff? "The Killer Angels" and "Gods and Generals." I haven't read the new one. Beautiful books. The Civil War from pre-war times through Gettysburg. I believe the new book completes the story. "

Except for Kosovo the news has been dull since impeachment. Some cartoonists just must keep bringing up Bill and Monica. "

Tony Kornheiser had a dandy column about people we could dispense with. I think he included Barbara Walters. Amen. I think he should have included Larry King and Robert Novak. Pat Buchanan should be high on the list. "

Should Elia Kazan have received an honorary Oscar? I have other things to worry about: my back, my eyes, my ears, the weeds in my yard. "

Prospects for the 2000 election are depressing. Gore puts people to sleep, but I think the big boys are silly to keep harping on that Internet goof. Bradley lost me when he walked out of the Senate to do other things. Mrs. Dole? Well, maybe Hillary. How will Bush Jr. be any better than Bush Sr.? Alexander? Come on. Buchanan? Forbes? And, lordy, lordy, the incredible Bob Smith?. "

Do people putting together television ads deliberately look for the ugliest people in the world? Note, especially, that gink in the Pepsi ads. "

The first "Horatio Hornblower" two hours was quite all right, especially when the captain plugged the infamous Simpson. I've loved the Hornblower books for a long time now, and I'm trying to interest my grandson, who loves the house computer, in reading the books. I also want him to find "Northwest Passage," "Captain Blood," "The Sea Hawk," and "Mutiny on the Bounty." "

One good thing about heading for bed about 10 o'clock is that I never have to get into discussions about Leno and Letterman. Don't think I saw more than an hour of Johnny Carson in all his long run. "

I'll offer a whole column soon about our trip into Yugoslavia years ago. Not until recently had I realized one of the worst stops on our whole trip was a town in the heart of Kosovo. "

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