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Archive for Thursday, August 20, 1992

AT KU

August 20, 1992

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Because humans are sexual beings, half of what can be learned at college falls in the area of friendships and romantic or sexual relationships, a Kansas University professor says.

"It's important, while you're here, to develop that part of your life the part that has to do with friends and lovers," said Dennis Dailey, professor of social welfare, in a presentation Wednesday on "Sexuality and the College Student."

His talk was part of Hawk Week activities. About 60 people attended.

Dailey, who teaches a class on human sexuality, said curriculum at KU is divided into two basic areas: academic and social.

"The first is for the opportunity to grow and prepare for life," he said. "Those are the things you're supposed to know when you leave here and get a job.

"The other curriculum, which is probably a lot more fun, is what I call `friends and lovers.' If there's anything we know about that dimension of life, our society doesn't do a very good job of addressing it."

HE POINTED out that about 50 percent of all marriages end in divorce, and that about half of all individuals in a serious relationship will have some kind of sexual dysfunction sometime in their lives.

Dailey said humans are sexual beings from birth until death.

"You don't become a non-sexual blob at a certain age," he said. "I'm here to bear testimony to that."

Dailey said students can learn valuable lessons at KU from social relationships that "don't have squat to do with work."

"Students don't leave their sexuality at home," he said. "You might not identify them today or next week, but I know you're all looking for the person we want to spend the rest of our lives with."

He encouraged students to make the most of their relationships while they are at KU.

"WE STILL live in an incredibly uptight, Victorian world," he said.

"People talk about the sexual revolution, but as far as I'm concerned, it hasn't happened yet."

He told students they should maximize their sexuality when they express it physically.

"I don't want you to have a sexual experience that is burdened with guilt or shame," he said. "Or one in which you are pressured."

He said up to 25 percent of all women at KU will experience or will be pressured into a date rape situation.

"`No' means `no, '" he said. "I hope the guys eventually learn this."

He said men should not approach sex arrogantly.

"My hope is that while you're here you will move past some of the arrogance that our society sort of forces on us," he said.

Maximizing sexual experiences also means eliminating the risks of contracting sexually transmitted diseases and of unwanted pregnancies, he said.

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