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On Father of slain toddler grieves in Missouri jail

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Lisa Hallberg 1 year, 7 months ago

This is so very sad. And kudos to LJWorld for this interview - I appreciate the humanizing you bring to these people, particularly individuals so often vilified in comments on stories like this. As a non-violent criminal, I hope that Mr. Bailey has the opportunity to break his addition, to continue to reflect on his life choices, and to find a different, less self-destructive, path in life.

Robert Rauktis 1 year, 7 months ago

AA quite correctly points out that the addict has to value something above himself to abandon that little man both in and outside the head, He obviously didn't value anything but his addiction. Too bad.

Non-violent? That's an accident waiting to happen.

seriouscat 1 year, 7 months ago

SO glad yours is the first comment here Lisa. Bravo and thank you.

John Hamm 1 year, 7 months ago

Sorry but if the child meant that much to him why did he continue his life of drugs and crime?

engagedecoy 1 year, 7 months ago

You obviously don't know the effects drugs have on the mind and body. If you read the article the crimes stemmed from his drug use. I imagine that is where the burglary charge comes from, was probably trying to get money or items of value to get his drugs.

What I am wondering is, Why has commenting not been disabled on this story? It's an obvious story for people to come put their 2 cents in on a subject they know very little about. Comments were disabled on most the stories regarding the investigation, why leave this mans family open to see peoples hatred and thoughtlessness by not disabling comments? Shame shame.

verity 1 year, 7 months ago

Fortunately, for some of us, we don't like to be high and/or are not physically prone to addiction of dangerous substances, or were old enough when exposed that we knew not to become involved---or any number of things. Yes, life is about choices, but we all start and make our choices from a different place.

And once a bad choice is made, it becomes harder and harder to make good choices. I haven't walked in anybody else's shoes.

Currahee 1 year, 7 months ago

Okay, imagine this. The pleasure you get from having sex or eating. Now multiply it by 12. Meth's effects on your pleasure center allows you to feel 12x more than you would feel if you ate or had sex. Aside from the drug destroying your insides and making you want to carve your face off with an icepick, this id why people who are addicted to meth can't break their habit easily. You're feeling more pleasure than you ever thought possible. It will drive people insane to get that feeling again, which it never does. This us why you have the meth: not even once campaign. Just one sample and you're hooked. Feel bad for him, be thankful youre not in his position, AND DONT DO DRUGS!

imastinker 1 year, 7 months ago

Wait. Eating is supposed to be as enjoyable as sex? It seems I've been doing one of those two things wrong.

Currahee 1 year, 7 months ago

In relative terms, yes. The reason for obesity, the reason why the biological process keeps people alive. If nothing feels pleasurable, why do it? If you didn't feel hungry, why eat? It's not a far fetched idea.

notaubermime 1 year, 7 months ago

I have to say that I came here after reading the headline and having little in the way of sympathy for the position in which this man finds himself. Reading the article, I was surprised to see that this man does not have much sympathy for himself either.

To me, that makes him a very tragic figure. He realizes that he deserves to be in jail and that he would probably go back to crime if released at this point. He also realizes that the errors he made cost him precious time with his wife and child. I hope that he finds the realization that he needs to choose the path of atonement from here and develops the strength to walk it.

Excellent job by the reporter of bringing this human story to us. Thanks!

Fred Mertz 1 year, 7 months ago

not - I also was ready to jump all over the father when I read the headline, but after reading the article I actually felt sorry for him. He acknowledges and accepts his failures.

Drugs do destroy lives.

friendlyjhawk 1 year, 7 months ago

This poor man made all those horrible choices and contributed to the death of his wife and daughter because of those life choices he made. His time in prison will probably not be well spent in developing life skills that will make him a better person. Just another piece of flotsam on the sea of life.

Deb Engstrom 1 year, 7 months ago

Your name hardly reflects your attitude. I really hope that no-one that you love gets caught in a web of addiction. Once that happens, there is no such thing as a good choice.

Amy Heeter 1 year, 7 months ago

Just because people make poor choices doesn't mean they do not feel. Especially after five months of detoxing. He may not of been thinking when on drigs, bit he has been off them for a few months now. It's called moment of clarity. There is information in the story if we look beyond the sorrow. Mr Bailey states that he lived with Mr Stout and introduced Kaylie and stout. He also stated he( Mr Bailey) was using drugs at the time. You do the math. Mr Bailey also pointed out his brother was murdered during that time. Grief can cause a extreme mental break. Add a violent murder to the mix it could and has led to alcohol and drug abuse. It seems there were slit of poor choices made, but not just be Bailey. In time I believe much will come to light about all the.players I'm this saga. Lana was the true victim in this horrible situation. While I can understand the pain of Bailey and other survivors the only sadness I can justify is for Lana.

Kat Christian 1 year, 7 months ago

This is very sad, but he is right that he does hold some responsibility in the death of his daughter as well as Kaylie, as much as Kaylie holds responsibility in the death of her daughter and herself. It doesn’t make much sense that she left her husband because of the way he was living his life to jump right back into the same situation with another guy. How smart was that move on her part? I think the one person who really lost in this tragedy is Lana-Leigh at being born to irresponsible and immature parents. What really ticks me off is where was the rest of the family in this? Why didn’t her parents or his get involved in making certain Lana-Leigh was safe and in a structured home? There is more to this then meets the eye. I don’t feel sorry for this man being in jail grieving for his daughter, not that I wish this sort of tragedy on anybody, but he made his bed now he has to lie in it. Having a career criminal in the family is too close to home for me so unless you live with it you have no idea how frustrating it is to try and help these people. At some point and time in life they just have to figure it out for themselves. Perhaps by the time he gets out of prison he’ll make better choices in his life and meet someone else, have more children and want to work toward a stable life and stay away from the drugs and criminal activity. One can only hope.

Deb Engstrom 1 year, 7 months ago

Maybe the rest of the family is in the same situation. I do know how frustrating it is to try and help these people. My oldest son has been in and out of prison since he was 16 (he is now 39) and I am still helping and supporting him but with his degree of mental illness I don't think he will ever figure it out and be able to make better choices on his own, just like the people in this article. Community mental health facilities and addiction treatment are woefully inadequate and the foster care system is a disaster. Unfortunately, there will always be these sorts of things occurring and children will be innocent victims.

kellisto 1 year, 7 months ago

I find it completely reprehensible that you would have the audacity to cast aspersions on people you know nothing about. Kaylie was a phenomenal human being. She was leaving Shawn because he couldn't seem to tear himself away from the only kind of life he had known up until he met her. He's been through a lot of bad circumstances and made a lot of bad choices. He is NOT, however, a bad person. Kaylie was not irresponsible - she made sure that all of Lana's needs were met, she had a full-time job and an amazing support system of friends and family when it became clear that Shawn was unable to make certain changes at that point in his life. She was young, but not immature. She loved Lana more than life itself and made some difficult decisions when it came down to what she thought was best for her. Only God can judge, and you are not God. You have no right to demonize people when you don't know their circumstances in life or what led them to where they are. Shame on you.

kellisto 1 year, 7 months ago

To clarify- this post is in response to "sunshine_noise" I have no issue with this article or how it was presented in the least.

Doug Harvey 1 year, 7 months ago

There but for the grace of God, as they say . . .

Fred Mertz 1 year, 7 months ago

toe, the problem is they do get out of jail and are no better off then when they entered. Still addicted, still uneducated and still unskilled.

I agree keep a violent offender in jail for a very long time but we need to find ways to rehabilitate non-violent offenders. Truth is they don't deserve it, they didn't earn it but I deserve to live in a society with less crime.

So yes they haven't earned a free education or free rehab but if that is what it will take to make them productive and to keep my family and me safer then I say it is money worth spending.

arylwren 1 year, 7 months ago

I had been wondering all along about Lana's father, as I had not read anything that even mentioned who he was. Thank you for the article.

His story is sad and his decisions have been poor, but I'm glad he appears to have accepted responsibility and the consequences for his actions. I hope these tragedies motivate him to be a better person.

StirrrThePot 1 year, 7 months ago

God be with him, this is such a heartbreaking story. The power of drug addiction is so tragic. I hope he is able to turn things around for the better.

gatekeeper 1 year, 7 months ago

Sorry, but Kaylie deserves sympathy too. She was a really good girl and wasn't involved in drugs. Did you bother to read why she left her husband?

You really shouldn't speak about people you don't know.

LJW - please disable commenting for any stories about this tragic event. Kaylie and Lana deserve better than ignorant comments from people who know nothing of them.

mom_of_three 1 year, 7 months ago

very good article, and I do feel for the guy in that he realizes that the choices he made determined the life of others. While this is always true (our actions affect others), his choices led to a tragic turn. Yes, he made the choices that put him there, but he lost his daughter, and his ex-wife.
drugs and addictions make people do things that we can never understand. I hope he makes better choices when he gets the chance to do so.

ottawaway 1 year, 7 months ago

I know neighbors to this mobile home & was told by them that there were cars & people coming & going to this home quite frequently. In a May 3rd text from Kyle Flack to Andrew Helm, Flack texted " I talk to him yesterday, he finally got everybody out his house. He's probably just laying low. Can't blame him". Creepy text. I have a feeling, considering hearing others names that hung out at this home, that we will hear of illegal activities going on at the home as well. With some of the people that were hanging out there & reported to have lived there something bad was about to happen sooner or later. Some of these people are very well known to the law in Franklin Co. It's just extremely sad that baby Lana was put in the middle of all this.

lawslady 1 year, 7 months ago

A horrible tragedy, but all too common. Especially where these drugs are concerned. So addictive that any bit of common sense or survival instinct goes out the window. The recovery rate for meth is very low. And while the normal humane response is to pity a grieving father, even though his own choices and actions created the problems he is having and arguably led to to the tragic deaths of his wife and child, I was stopped short at this part of the story.

Investigators "laid the big question to me. 'Did you have anything to do with it?'" Shawn says. "I think being asked that question hurt more than the whole situation."

What???? If this is accurate, and he said it, he is saying that he cares more that someone suspected him of doing this awful thing, as opposed to caring most that his wife and child are dead because someone he brought into their lives killed them. If so, he is extremely self-centered & may even be someone who has the mental issue labeled narcissism. And drugs or no drugs, there's no cure for that kind of self-centered disregard for others. It's all about image and how does this (anything) impact me me me me.

verity 1 year, 7 months ago

That statement bothered me too and didn't really seem in line with other statements he made.

drafted_rough 1 year, 7 months ago

I agree. I would have expected to see a man so uncontrollably distraught that he couldn't speak.

I did not see that man.

verity 1 year, 7 months ago

The level of a person's outer distraughtness doesn't necessarily equate to how they're feeling. People show, or don't show, their emotions in different ways.

ottawaway 1 year, 7 months ago

I agree Lawslady. He's more concerned about what people believe about wether he was involved or not instead of caring about baby Lana & what he, among others put this poor child through. It's sickening. If he cared so much about his baby he would have went to whatever lengths he had to go to, to change his lifestyle before she was born. I would have thought he would have been offered treatment somewhere along the line being incarcerated for his career of crimes. And you & others are right about he sure doesn't look to be taking the death of his daughter & wife hard at all.

dee66044 1 year, 7 months ago

I didnt take it that way, putting myself in his shoes, If I as a mom were asked if I had anything to do with my child's death, Id be hurt as well. That child may very well be the best thing he ever did. As for him not being distraght enough, he was out of his childs life prior to her death. Im sure jail sobered him up and maybe he has been in the grieving process over his loss of family and freedom since hes been in jail. His ex had moved on, he was already in a position of not seeing his ex-wife &daughter again. I cant help but feel bad for any parent who loses a child. no one deserves that.

Leslie Swearingen 1 year, 7 months ago

I agree with you,dee, and I thought that he must have been devastated to be asked if he could kill his small daughter, and his ex-wife, along with two other people whose deaths don't seem to be as important.

In cases such as this the police have to ask everyone.

drafted_rough 1 year, 7 months ago

Shawn Bailey has it all backwards: Horror does not create monsters. Monsters create horror.

The LJW needs to disable comments. Better yet, destroy this whole piece.

Smarmy_Schoolmarm 1 year, 7 months ago

"The day police discovered Kaylie's body, Shawn had just received a nine-year prison sentence for his role in the January burglary." Yet Kyle Flack only served 4 years for attempted murder. There are more people to blame than these two.

verity 1 year, 7 months ago

My question is, if a person is a sociopath then what is their responsibility for what they do? I wouldn't make a decision on Mr Bailey because we certainly don't have all the information, but it does appear that Kyle Flack is a sociopath, as in a remorseless killer.

Christine Anderson 1 year, 7 months ago

aEnough of coddling and feeling sorry for persons who choose drugs over their children. Enough !! And yes, there is drug and alcohol addiction in my family. This does not change my mind.

SweetTruffleBoy 1 year, 6 months ago

When my grandson died of SIDS, I would not allow myself to cry. Every time I felt tears welling up, I would fight until they passed. I was afraid that if I let so much grief and pain get a foothold, I would never be able to stop. Losing a child is even worse. My son turned to methamphetamine. It was a stupid choice but he wanted to kill himself because of so much grief and pain. He is hooked to this day. He did not set out to become a drug addict. He set out to make himself feel nothing. Today, I believe he has achieved that goal. It was sad for me to watch but I understand how someone can lose themselves in grief and pain and sadness and go away. I believe everyone deserves empathy for the burdens they bear in life. Some have not had such horrible burdens as this young man but others have had far worse. It is difficult to say what one would do if one were in their shoes. But I do believe that compassion for the poor, lost souls in this world is what Jesus would have done. He did tell us, "Judge not lest ye be judged and "Look at the beam in your own eye before examining the straw in your brothers eye." Only the Lord God has the right and responsibility to judge. No one else.

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