Discussion on Local girls become beauty queens for a day / LJWorld.com

On Local girls become beauty queens for a day

Delicious
Digg
Tumblr
Wordpress
Reddit
Copy and paste the link:

For the last couple of years, we have taken older Girl Scouts to Marinello (previously B Street Designs) for a rotation during our Night Prowl Event. These beauticians are AWESOME!! They are so patient with the girls that come through and we have enjoyed every year we have attended. It has been the hottest rotation during the event! Thanks, Marinello, for making these and our girls feel comfortable AND beautiful. My daughter and I now go there exclusively to have our hair done.

streetman 2 months ago

Seems sad. Are little girls unwittingly being indoctrinated with the idea that they are not beautiful enough -- that even at this age, they need to be "painted?" And this being done to them by women. Of course, the girls like it -- center of attention, getting to do a "big girl" thing, etc. But is it really a good thing?

jonas_opines 2 months ago

It doesn't all really need to be good or bad. I follow where you're coming from, but it's not necessarily worth the assumption that what these girls are being taught is they need to be painted to be beautiful, just that they can play for a day and be this Other kind of beautiful, different from their regular beauty. It all depends on how the parents and event organizers approach it, and you'd really have to be there to draw an effective conclusion, I think. Until then, I'm not sure it's worth raining on the parade, so to speak.

lawrenceks66 2 months ago

streetman - what's wrong with wanting to look pretty for a day? I see sloppy looking girls everywhere. They go to the store and class in their pajamas and slippers, hair not even brushed. They don't care anymore what they look like .. it's awful. This isn't to say they aren't beautiful on the inside, which is what truly matters, but it's a good thing to teach girls to look nice and care about their hair, face, and bodies as well as their mind!

streetman 2 months ago

That's my point -- young girls are pretty EVERYDAY without the "paint," not "for a day" with the paint. Of course, all girls like to play with the paint -- my daughter and her friends did it -- but this is a formal, stage mom-type orchestrated event, and if too big a deal is made of it, might it contribute to future self-esteem problems? It's a different issue than simply teaching kids to be presentable in their appearance.

karajane92 2 months ago

What is wrong with being feminine? When did it become a problem to be girly? Girls like to dress up and look pretty. Its fun, its a part of our design. Why is letting little girls dress up for a day enhancing the rape culture? The fact sir, that you believe girls putting make-up on and doing their hair is enhancing the rape culture is the rape culture!

There is nothing wrong with wanting to look beautiful. Women have been doing things to enhance beauty for centuries. -- Aren't you happy we aren't breaking our ribs anymore to look skinny?
Being a feminine woman is a beautiful thing. It isn't something that needs to be demonized. Letting little girls play dress up isn't teaching them that that is the only way to look beautiful. It's teaching them that they are graceful and beautiful. It teaches them that they are someone to be respected. Don't steal their childhood and innocence away from them by telling them its bad to look pretty, its bad to pretend to be a princess. I once put a night of beauty together for women who lived the safe houses in Lawrence. We provided free manicures and hair cuts for women who hadn't had a real hair cut in years. They left completely different women than they came. They left with a new sense of self worth and confidence. That was the whole point of the night. To remind those women of the treasure they are. Dressing up and looking nice is a way that we women do that. Don't take that away from us.

verity 2 months ago

"The fact sir, that you believe girls putting make-up on and doing their hair is enhancing the rape culture is the rape culture!"

Yes.

Phoghorn 2 months ago

Very well said. Okay, so I made a bit of a snarky comment below, but I do know that a lot of women feel more confident about themselves after a makeover. As a guy, it is a bit harder for me to understand, but this seems like a very good project. I say congratulations to the women who pulled this off.

It sounds like you were part of a worthwhile project as well. Keep up the good work, and don't let the negative folks on here get you down.

Thinking_Out_Loud 2 months ago

And...Godwin's Law rears its head again in benofthebull's post.

This one didn't take long.

MarcoPogo 2 months ago

Hitler - check. Indoctrinated - check Reality TV - check Rape culture - check

Where's the part where Obama gets blamed?

verity 2 months ago

There is a huge difference between Tots in Tiaras or whatever that is, botox and plastic surgery and helping to give girls/young women confidence. I think that everybody feels better when they feel like they look good, both women and men. And, yes, there is a problem with going to school looking like you just fell out of bed. Gives the impression that you don't care. It will have an effect on how others perceive you. Try going for a job interview looking like that.

Thank you to the people who did this and especially thank you to karajean for what you did at the safe house. I'm sure everybody you served was given a big boost of badly needed self-confidence.

Phoghorn 2 months ago

KansasPerson 2 months ago

A lot of you are talking about women dressing up, which is fine (I don't like the pajama trend either, for women OR men) -- but these are little girls we're talking about, just nine or ten years old. I can see this for a slightly older demographic, say when they're entering their teens, but this does seem a little early. Would girls this young actually be into this stuff if media and society weren't telling them to be?

If it's just about keeping your hair and nails clean and other hygiene matters, where's the day for the little boys?

And if we want to celebrate National Women's Month, I could think of a lot of ways that would be less shallow than this. How about a reading day or a science day? How about beautifying the brain? How about a day of learning about health -- learn about their digestion and their muscles and how to eat right and take pride in having healthy insides? Just a few ideas based on what I find little girls are equally, if not more so, naturally interested in, if only someone would help them out instead of focusing on the outer self.

karajane92 2 months ago

KansasPerson - They do that in school all day. They learn about the brain and have reading assignments already. Look, it doesn't matter how little a girl is, she can be 3 and want to dress up, it is inherent in little girls. Girls love beautiful things. Its why we pick flowers instead of stomp on them. Its why we are gentle instead of rough like little boys. There is nothing wrong with promoting beauty. Its about admiring the beauty of who you are. Its about understanding that you hold beauty too.

Again, I don't know why anyone is having a problem with this. We need to be promoting femininity and beauty to our girls today. Too many girls don't know that they are unique and special and beautiful. make up and hair doesn't create the beauty, it enhances the beauty that is already there. Today girls are told that if they look too much like a girl they must not be smart, or they won't be treated equally with boys - that is a lie. We girls can want to look beautiful and admire beauty and be successful in school - hey your talking to a girl who finished her degree in under 3 years.

Phoghorn 2 months ago

I can't wait for National Men's Month. Me an the guys are gonna smoke some brisket, drink some beer and watch some football.

denak 2 months ago

The thing that bothers me about this whole thing is the assumption that just because a family is "poor," that the children are inherently high-risk. This isn't the case at all but it is an assumption that the Boys and Girls Club seems to believe. Years ago, I called them to see about getting a foster child into the after-school program. I was told that the foster child would have to be put on a waiting list with all the other children. I asked why a child who is at high-risk(and I think everyone would agree a foster child would be considered risk) would be put behind children who are in stable homes. The response I got from the worker was that "all" of the children were high-risk because they were poor. That isn't even remotely true. A child who has a stable home with food, shelter and loving parents, who just might be poor because they are going to college, is not high-risk. The assumption is that if the parents are finiancially poor than the child must be poor in other areas. That same assumption is evident in this article. That just because a child attends Boys and Girls club that these "girls ...might not have .. the opportunity look and feel as beautiful on the outside as they are on the inside." Dressing up and getting one's hair done isn't an opportunity to feel good about onesself. These children dress up all the time. And most get their hair done on a regular basis and I don't know any girl 4-10 who does not or has not dressed up like a princess considering how huge the whole Disney Princess franchise is. So, I don't see this as much of an opportunity.

This second thing that bothers me is that it based on gender stereotypes. Is there going to be a boys' day? Are they going to get their hair done? (And don't kid yourself boys do like getting their fauxhawk) Or, are the Boys and Girls Club going to get a police officer or a soldier or a instructor in martial arts to come in? I'm willing to bet that if they even talked about it, that is what was suggested. Girls look pretty. Boys learn to kick butt. If they are really interested in giving girls confidence---real, lasting actual confidence--then they would bring in a bunch of Marines and teach these girls how to run drills or be assertive and to stand up for themselves. But that won't happen because it is easier to just slap some lipstick and a high-risk label on a girl than to actually do anything about it.

Katara 2 months ago

Yeah, it is pretty easy to tell you haven't a clue about what Boys and Girls Club does or why.

denak 2 months ago

If you response was addressed to me Katara, by all means, "enlighten" me. Regardless of whether or not you agree, I think my post stands on its own merits. Unlike your one line response that doesn't, in any way, offer a cogent rebuttal to my statement or even address the article at hand.

Katara 2 months ago

No, your post does not stand on its own merits.

Your interaction with Boys and Girls Club was to demand special treatment for your foster kid. You felt that your child deserved a spot more than the other kids, of which you have absolutely no information about either their family finances nor their family stability. I am not going to even go there about how you've set a label on your foster kid. I sure hope any foster children you foster are able to rise above your obvious prejudices.

Many kids do not have opportunity to participate in events such as these due to either family finances, family custody issues or simply access to the events. Boys and Girls Club provides the opportunity to all kids and that is why there is a waiting list. It is in high demand.

It is also interesting that you make the assertion that these girls get their hair done on a regular basis and that they dress up all the time. Really? And you can tell this how?

You know nothing about the kids in Boys and Girls Club but you make some pretty wild assertions about what opportunities they have or don't have.

Additionally, if you had any clue about Boys and Girls Club, you would know that they have a variety of programs available to both boys and girls (hence the name of the club) and boys can participate in a day of beauty if they choose. Show me where a boy in that club was denied because of his gender. If you are truly concerned about gender equality for this, you do have the option to approach barber shops to see if they would be interested in doing a male version of this.

On top of that, this was something that was sponsored by Marinello. They approached the Boys and Girls Club for this as a way for their company to celebrate Women's History Month. Boys and Girls Club asks parents if there is interest in participating and if there is, Boys and Girls Club helps get the kids to the event.

Finally, you mentioned the Marines being a more positive role model for these girls. You have no way of knowing whether or not that would increase self-confidence in these girls. Each child is different and while running an obstacle course in some camo may provide a confidence booster for some, a day of beauty provides a confidence booster for others. That is the great thing about Boys and Girls Club. They provide a variety of events and activities so that all children have a choice as to what works best for them.

I also recall you mentioned having been in the Marines. Why didn't you organize something with your fellow Marines? Or is it one of those situations where you only help if it directly impacts you?

happyrearviewmirror 2 months ago

This seems old-fashioned, to say the least. Teaching girls about conforming to limiting, demeaning sexual stereotypes--the KS version of celebrating Women's History Month--boo!! In my experience only in less advanced, civilized, and progressive cultures do appearances equal reality. Once we're brainwashed into believing that we are only who we are perceived to be--often by less than politically aware and sensitive people--our horizons become severely diminished.

People always looked at me and saw a brainiac in female drag until I moved to Larryville, where I was unmercifully bullied and persecuted for a slight difference from the majority, and TOTALLY externally defined by it. Labels rule in the narrow-minded backwoods.

Phoghorn 2 months ago

Is Kansas the only place where women wear makeup?

verity 2 months ago

You've never been to Texas?

Phoghorn 2 months ago

Oh, yes, and dated women from there. I had to comment on happyrearviewmirror as he seems to be under the impression that Kansas is the only place where traditions rule.

I have tried to engage him in conversation, but to no avail. I was genuinely curious about what specific events made him feel the way he does. He never did reply though. I can also tell you that he used to post here under at least two other usernames. Different name, but always the same message.